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Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:30 AM

Where Would Jesus Shop?

A new site is listing establishments where they believe Jesus would shop. From an outside satire/opinion poll:

Which brings us to our favorite new site of Christian nationalist insanity: America’s Praytriot Pages, a place where Christian shoppers can, for the low cost of $7.77, access to a list of businesses that promise to “keep Kingdom dollars in the Kingdom!”

Yes, this is a thing. There seems to be a movement to keep Christian dollars in Christian pockets while doing the Christian deed of putting everyone else out of business.

Companies that list with Praytriot Pages promise they will never engage in commerce that is “unbiblical, sinful, or illegal.” That’s a tall order. Really! Neither illegal nor unbiblical? So much for Leviticus and any thrifty online shopper looking for the cheapest stone to kill his swearing neighbor.

The main question behind the site is, of course, “Where would Jesus shop?” And don’t just assume he’s at the hardware store buying a nail puller. Because, see, the Bible is really dedicated to what to do with your disposable income. Kind of gives new meaning to a Sunday Circular!


The poll is asking what businesses might be behind that paywall:

- 40 Lashes Mascara?

- Noah's Architects?

- Burger King of the Jews?

What do you might be listed?

Original poll at: http://lesterandcharlie.com/2013/01/10/where-would-jesus-shop/

26 replies, 1426 views

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Arrow 26 replies Author Time Post
Reply Where Would Jesus Shop? (Original post)
bondwooley Jan 2013 OP
scrubthedata Jan 2013 #1
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #2
bondwooley Jan 2013 #23
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #3
CurtEastPoint Jan 2013 #4
lunasun Jan 2013 #26
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #5
LiberalElite Jan 2013 #6
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #7
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #8
watercolors Jan 2013 #9
Honeycombe8 Jan 2013 #10
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #11
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #12
HereSince1628 Jan 2013 #13
dembotoz Jan 2013 #14
HereSince1628 Jan 2013 #15
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #16
undeterred Jan 2013 #17
undeterred Jan 2013 #18
Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #19
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #20
name not needed Jan 2013 #21
fayhunter Jan 2013 #22
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #24
bondwooley Jan 2013 #25

Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:35 AM

1. Salvation Army n/t

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:36 AM

2. Bed, Bath and Behold!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #2)

Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:43 AM

23. That's got to be my favorite.

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:41 AM

3. Mount Olivet Garden

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:49 AM

4. And it's all due to BHO's re-election!

The shocking re-election of Barack Hussein Obama has given me a new sense of urgency! Now more than ever we must endeavor to keep Kingdom dollars in the Kingdom, supporting goods and services run by Christians and creating a stronger community based in biblically sound business prinicpals (sic). Together through faith, trust and commerce we can take America back before we have to witness Obama and his secular humanist crowd tear apart our Christian nation.

Not only do you have to pay to advertise (makes sense) but apparently also pay to JOIN and VIEW ADS.

PT Barnum was right...

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Response to CurtEastPoint (Reply #4)

Tue Jan 15, 2013, 08:07 PM

26. +1

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:55 AM

5. Seers

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:09 AM

6. Holy Flip Flops

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:17 AM

7. Hymn Depot

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 11:34 AM

8. Creche & Barrel

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:08 PM

9. Probably barter at Farmers Markets & Flea Markets. I do!

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 12:10 PM

10. The cheapest place he could find, OR markets by local individuals, or both.

He wouldn't go to department stores or malls.

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:25 PM

11. Church's Chicken and Ruth's Christ Steakhouse and Chuck E. Cheesus

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:37 PM

12. Where would J.C. shop? J.C. Penney and Lord & Taylor.

Duh!

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:40 PM

13. Loaves & Fishes: seafood sub-shop, sorry no oysters

although I don't know if you can have a flatbread sub

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:44 PM

14. trader jesus

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:47 PM

15. Lord n' Mangers

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 01:55 PM

16. Matthew, Mark, Luke & Sean John

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 02:03 PM

17. Mary Magdalene's House of Ill Repute

Sorry..

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 02:05 PM

18. Heavenly Video Shoppe

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 02:21 PM

19. Heh

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.


And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.


Yeah, Jesus would definitely shop at "Christian" businesses that make a loud and public show of piety and exploit their religion for profit. Reminded of Gandhi saying "I like your Christ, I don't like your Christians".

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 02:55 PM

20. The Miracle-Gro Store

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 03:02 PM

21. Saul's Fifth Avenue

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Response to bondwooley (Original post)

Sun Jan 13, 2013, 05:42 PM

22. Pontious Pilate Air

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Response to fayhunter (Reply #22)

Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:53 AM

24. And Blessed Virgin Airlines




Welcome to DU!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #24)

Tue Jan 15, 2013, 06:56 PM

25. How can we work the Flying Nun into that?

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