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Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:36 PM

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

69 replies, 7214 views

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Reply Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized (Original post)
snooper2 Jan 2013 OP
HappyMe Jan 2013 #1
sharp_stick Jan 2013 #2
blogslut Jan 2013 #3
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #4
TwilightGardener Jan 2013 #6
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #11
TwilightGardener Jan 2013 #15
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #17
leftynyc Jan 2013 #7
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #14
snooper2 Jan 2013 #10
Shrike47 Jan 2013 #12
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #18
barbtries Jan 2013 #43
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #44
Rainngirl Jan 2013 #45
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #50
tblue37 Jan 2013 #53
robbob Jan 2013 #59
trumad Jan 2013 #21
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #26
Sissyk Jan 2013 #28
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #32
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #30
groundloop Jan 2013 #60
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #61
pnwmom Jan 2013 #68
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #69
TeeYiYi Jan 2013 #46
msanthrope Jan 2013 #52
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #54
msanthrope Jan 2013 #62
southernyankeebelle Jan 2013 #64
TwilightGardener Jan 2013 #5
virgogal Jan 2013 #8
Liberal_in_LA Jan 2013 #9
Shrike47 Jan 2013 #13
Sheldon Cooper Jan 2013 #16
Control-Z Jan 2013 #19
Initech Jan 2013 #20
Enrique Jan 2013 #22
LineLineReply !
TeeYiYi Jan 2013 #48
trumad Jan 2013 #23
Terra Alta Jan 2013 #24
MinneapolisMatt Jan 2013 #25
patrice Jan 2013 #34
patrice Jan 2013 #37
longship Jan 2013 #27
snooper2 Jan 2013 #29
Brickbat Jan 2013 #31
blogslut Jan 2013 #33
Terra Alta Jan 2013 #35
JNelson6563 Jan 2013 #36
TwilightGardener Jan 2013 #38
longship Jan 2013 #40
sakabatou Jan 2013 #39
progressoid Jan 2013 #41
KamaAina Jan 2013 #42
Lone_Star_Dem Jan 2013 #47
slackmaster Jan 2013 #49
SunSeeker Jan 2013 #51
LineReply !
xchrom Jan 2013 #55
tomm2thumbs Jan 2013 #56
Jennicut Jan 2013 #57
PoliticAverse Jan 2013 #58
Janecita Jan 2013 #63
tallahasseedem Jan 2013 #65
markpkessinger Jan 2013 #66
Kurovski Jan 2013 #67

Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:42 PM

1. LOL!



There are a lot of those out there. I'm so glad I don't have one.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:43 PM

2. Trying On Clothes Is Proof Of Life

She's not dead, she's just an idiot.

I love the protest signs

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:47 PM

3. I LOLed

Thank you.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:51 PM

4. What I don't understand is that she can text? Is she dressing herself? Putting on makeup?

 

How is she brain dead? I don't get it. She is acting like a typical teenager to me. If her parents are saying she is brain dead then I don't think the girl is living a quality life. I believe you have a right to end your life if there is nothing they can do for you. By the way how did this happen to her?

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Response to TwilightGardener (Reply #6)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:56 PM

11. Oh I've been had, LOL. This is a joke. A terrible funny joke none the less.

 

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #11)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:58 PM

15. It's pretty awful, but damn funny.

Best quote: "Are you FOR REAL killing me?"

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Response to TwilightGardener (Reply #15)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:01 PM

17. stop it your killing me. LOL< LOL

 

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #4)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:53 PM

7. Your snark meter needs some tuning (n/t)

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Response to leftynyc (Reply #7)


Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #4)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:56 PM

10. at work and can't....stop....laughing.....



Have to go outside now ROFL

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #4)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:56 PM

12. You did catch that this is the Onion, right?

If they wait a few years, she might recover.

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Response to Shrike47 (Reply #12)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:03 PM

18. No I didn't really didn't. I should have known. It really is funny and I was had that is for sure.

 

I've made everyone's day for sure. I am still laughing at myself. I am an easy target. I believe everything someone tells me.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #18)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:44 PM

43. don't feel like the only one.

i believed my son when he told me that "gullible" isn't even an actual word you can find in the dictionary.

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Response to barbtries (Reply #43)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:50 PM

44. Well honey I hate to tell you but somehow that is my middle name, LOL.

 

I remember once my best girl was getting married. So we all went to the beauty school to get our hair done. Why there I didn't know but they chose the place. Her mother is a prankster. Well if you been to a beauty school you know that students do your hair. Evidently, my friend's mother told the instructor I was getting married and could she do my hair. I didn't know that. When we left the girls told me what was going on. Of course we all had a good laugh at my expense.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #18)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:00 PM

45. Bless your heart.

I'm completely gullible, too. I always have to first look to see if it's the Onion or Borowitz--although there's a new satire group that I hadn't heard about and they got me the other day with an article on Facebook about O'Reilly going off on somebody (which he is always doing) and was proof that he was losing his marbles. The problem these days is that there is a much narrower line between satire and reality. O'Reilly really IS losing his marbles, but it was a fake story anyway. haha

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Response to Rainngirl (Reply #45)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:17 PM

50. I just didn't think someone would make fun of a brain dead person. But I have to admit

 

it is a terrible joke but it is funny once I realized it. I'm sure I will fall again. I am to trusting.

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Response to Rainngirl (Reply #45)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:27 PM

53. That is what Poe's Law is all about. You really CAN'T tell the difference

any more between real RW nonsense and a parody of RW nonsense.

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Response to Rainngirl (Reply #45)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:44 PM

59. CBC radio (Canada) has been getting me lately

They have a new show called "This is That"; they do fake news stories that are JUST close enough to the truth to catch me yelling at the radio until I realize that I've been had (again).

Example; they did a recent story on how the Quebec language police (yes, they DO exist) are checking dog parks to make sure that all dogs can understand at least 10 commands in both English AND French, including man-on-the-street interviews (big french accent: "I was walking in de park la and dis big dogs 'e jump on me; I say "Whoa Chien, laisse-moi", but 'e understand not-ing!")

The funniest part of the show is when they play back outraged callers who have (like me) been taken in by the "news" story.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #4)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:05 PM

21. Just in case you Self Delete this post...

I have to say your post is one of the classic all time posts ever at DU.

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Response to trumad (Reply #21)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:23 PM

26. Well you are right. However, really didn't know that it wasn't real. So everyone got a laugh. I'm

 

happy everyone had a good laugh. Now thanks for the suggestion I will delete it.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #26)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:28 PM

28. lmao!

Everyone is laughing with you, southernyankeebelle!

I myself busted out loud at work!

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Response to Sissyk (Reply #28)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:31 PM

32. Ya'll are killing me.

 

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Response to trumad (Reply #21)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:30 PM

30. What can I say. How am I going to delete you have copied and posted as a classic? My comment

 

was meant sincerely in the first place. I didn't realize it was a joke. But once I got responses I realized I fell for it. Like I said I'm glad people got a laugh even I laughed. So unless you delete your comment I can't delete mine.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #30)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:03 PM

60. If you had a teenage daughter you'd have known right away

The instant I read about rolling eyes and texting I broke out laughing.

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Response to groundloop (Reply #60)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:08 PM

61. I don't have a teenage daughter. My granddaughter is only 7. I will at least know what to

 

look for.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #61)

Thu Jan 10, 2013, 05:36 AM

68. Girls don't roll their eye at their Grandmas.

Grandmas are special.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #68)

Thu Jan 10, 2013, 06:34 AM

69. Your right. Shhh don't tell my granddaughter that she has me wrapped around her little finger.

 

She is only 7 yrs old and my world.

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Response to trumad (Reply #21)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:01 PM

46. It's a DU classic, for sure! Thanks for preserving it, Trumad...

... In that one paragraph, she makes the parents' case. Priceless eyebrow-raising irony.

(Thank you, southernyankeebelle!)

TYY

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #4)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:22 PM

52. You made this thread the gem that it is....OWN IT!! nt

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Response to msanthrope (Reply #52)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:28 PM

54. Well sometimes you have no choice. I do own it. If you can't laugh at yourself then

 

I'd be sad all the time. I'm happy everyone got a good laugh. Who knows maybe it helped someone get through their bad day.

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Response to southernyankeebelle (Reply #54)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:12 PM

62. Lady, I think you are owed a DUZY trophy. I'm not sure they exist. But on St. Crispian's day....




Trumad bestirred hismself to recordeth this...you are LEGENDARY....

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Response to msanthrope (Reply #62)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:48 PM

64. Thank you, LOL. I really like the clip. I will be glad to have the Duzy (whatever it is). I will

 

cherish it. However, I don't think I that lengendary. Remember I have been to the jury room for being a badddddd girl. I am trying hard to stay out of there.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:51 PM

5. OK, that's the best thing I've seen

all week...

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:53 PM

8. It took me a few seconds,but I get it. Very funny !

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:54 PM

9. lol

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:57 PM

13. LOL! Lived it, love it.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 04:58 PM

16. Hahahaha!

That's hilarious.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:03 PM

19. "Hear the dedate on second hand ignorance

on the next, "In the Know"!!'

That was hysterical!

I have a teen at home who appears to me to be worse than the one in the video. That one at least changed positions. Mine stays in the same position on the couch for what seems like days at a time. Lol.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:05 PM

20. I've often heard this cited as how the zombie apocalypse starts.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:05 PM

22. pause at 1:13

the quote at the bottom of the newsletter

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Response to Enrique (Reply #22)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:07 PM

48. !

TYY

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:06 PM

23. F'ing funny as hell.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:15 PM

24. I heard it as "youth-anasia"

describes several teenagers I know. It's like they're physically attached to their mobile devices, and taking them away would be like amputating a limb.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:19 PM

25. I know plenty of adults like this.

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Response to MinneapolisMatt (Reply #25)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:33 PM

34. Me too, except it's the tv, which is maybe Worse, not texting.

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Response to MinneapolisMatt (Reply #25)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:35 PM

37. Don't forget, the story ended with a leader about kids being exposed to 2nd-hand ignorance in their

homes.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)


Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:29 PM

29. Hey, the reporters that work there do a better job than CNN and Faux!

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:30 PM

31. Read it again...

We'll wait.

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:32 PM

33. duuude. come on...

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:33 PM

35. You do realize this is The Onion right?

It's satire.. it's not supposed to be taken literally

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:34 PM

36. You get that it's The Onion, right?

Satire.

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:35 PM

38. OMG!

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Response to longship (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:41 PM

40. Oopsy! No Onion link to guide me.

My very bad. Just goes to show how bad medical and science reportage is these days that I would fall for this.

Self-deleted post.

My bad... Very bad!!!

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:36 PM

39. Dear Onion, you're awesome.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:41 PM

41. Love the X-Ray.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 05:42 PM

42. BIG sigh of relief for The Onion.

It might not actually happen here, but I can think of places like the Netherlands where it might.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:06 PM

47. It's a sad and horrific syndrome as many parents can attest to.

The teenage affliction has caused many a parent to lose their beloved child to this brain eating malady. I speak from first hand experience, luckily for me I found removing the phone from her hand eased the symptoms enough to permit some brain activity. At least enough to whine and stomp about the house once again.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:12 PM

49. Thanks DU. This post made my day.

 

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:20 PM

51. ROFLMAO

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:32 PM

55. !

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:34 PM

56. '...are you, for real, killing me right now?'... bwahahahahahah


omg, that had me rolling

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 06:43 PM

57. Was this posted to scare me?

I have an 8 year old...13 is only a few years away!!!

Seriously, I love the Onion.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:19 PM

63. It's from The Onion

If you guys check out literallyunbelievable, you are going to see a lot of people that think that it is real.

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 07:53 PM

65. As a mother to an almost 13 year old girl...

this made me LMAO!

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Wed Jan 9, 2013, 09:29 PM

66. Sadly, sometimes it's the only way [sigh]

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Response to snooper2 (Original post)

Thu Jan 10, 2013, 04:39 AM

67. I can't stop crying.

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