I would write a piece asking where are the calls for penis control? I doubt that even Twain could have pulled it off.
Lately I find so many appalling things, like when I consider how many people that poor soul was dragged in front of, who each individually made a choice to not stand up for her. An anonymous call to 911 would have been a good start.
Like when I consider how many in many shooter's lives could have made a difference along the way, and didn't.
I wonder were those penises semi or fully automatic? Did they have special grips? The puns would write themselves if the whole thing wasn't so fucked up as so many things with guns and penises are these days.
All I really know is I have both guns and a penis. I'm not like those Jocks. I'm also not like anyone who would go shoot up some public place.
I don't know the answers to either of these situations. But I want people who actually do and have studied them to suggest viable legislative solutions, rather than someone who apparently has penises confused with guns.
But I'm not a brilliant satirical writer, so that piece will be lost to time.