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Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:56 PM

OK. I have serious reservations about doing this, but I'm going to come out here on DU.

Last edited Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:00 PM - Edit history (1)

I was raped.

It happened when I was in the Navy. A group of three or four threw a blanket over me pinned me down and used a mop handle. I never saw my attackers, had no idea who they were, but I got to spend the rest of my time at sea wondering if every face I saw on that ship was one of them.

No, I did not report it; it was 1972, and we were in combat. Reporting it would have probably made my life a thousand times worse.

It was more than twenty years before I told anybody.

ETA: While I was seeking treatment through the VA, one psychiatrist I saw said in his report that that I was probably fabricating, or at least embellishing the story because the experience of being anally raped had not made me gay. I was shocked, but not nearly as shocked as the director of that facility when I showed her the report.

So, that is the kind of stuff you have to deal with.

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Reply OK. I have serious reservations about doing this, but I'm going to come out here on DU. (Original post)
MindPilot Jan 2013 OP
mzmolly Jan 2013 #1
MindPilot Jan 2013 #14
wake.up.america Jan 2013 #117
peacebird Jan 2013 #2
handmade34 Jan 2013 #3
elleng Jan 2013 #4
a kennedy Jan 2013 #5
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MindPilot Jan 2013 #23
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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:59 PM

1. I'm so sorry.

Thank you for your courage in sharing your personal story.

I wish you could seek justice, somehow.

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Response to mzmolly (Reply #1)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:05 PM

14. The VA sends me a check every month.

The Navy gave me a 10% disability, small consolation but at least I never have to worry about getting healthcare.

Probably not a day goes by that I don't wonder what became of them...karma and all.

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Response to MindPilot (Reply #14)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 10:46 PM

117. Sorry to hear about that. You come across as kind, caring peson. The world could do well ...

with more like you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:59 PM

2. I am so sorry. That had to be pure hell to live with.

:hugs:

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:59 PM

3. ...

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:59 PM

4. SO SORRY, MindPilot.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:00 PM

5. OMG MindPilot.......

I'm so sorry.....D*mn......

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:00 PM

6. God bless you. I'm so sorry to hear this -- Feels like crying now

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:01 PM

7. I'm so sorry that you went through that ordeal and kept it a secret for more than 20 years.

I can't imagine what hell you've endured.

But you came to the right place. We all want you to heal and find the strength to survive and to enjoy life.

(((((HUG))))

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:01 PM

8. ((((MindPilot))))

 

Nothing I could say you haven't heard before so....a hug.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:01 PM

9. I'm so very sorry

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:01 PM

10. I'm sorry. That'a not what you signed up for.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:03 PM

11. well,

and i have tears....

that is beyond horrible. not coming out is especially hard for men, but really, women are in the same place. i am always understanding of not reporting for the reason you say.

i was thinking the same, without knowing who, and stuck on the ship, knowing it was three or four men you were interacting with, in such a small space.

i hope you have been able to find a way to heal, or have its place in life that it does not mess with you today.

just ugly.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:03 PM

12. awful

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:04 PM

13. Damn

I'm so sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:05 PM

15. I am so sorry.



I hope that telling us about your experience will help you with your healing process.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:06 PM

16. Oh, God - I am so sorry to hear this

The ordeal of not knowing which shipmates did this to you must have been unbearable at times.

I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big and a cup of hot chocolate.

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Response to derby378 (Reply #16)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:16 PM

23. I think it would have been worse if I did know.

With three stripes on my arm, about the only people I outranked hadn't finished boot camp yet so I wouldn't have been able to do much anyway. It was 1972, and male rape simply didn't happen. And if it did, well you've heard all the stereotypes about sailors so it was more of a "hazing".

I got out as soon as I could.

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Response to MindPilot (Reply #23)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:10 PM

101. And there is still a stigma today for men.

It is almost bigger for men because men are not supposed to show emotion, at least from some people's views. I was molested as a girl, when I was 13. It was by a family friend. It took me a long time to tell people. I finally told my brother in my twenties. You are incredibly brave to share that with us.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:07 PM

17. I'm sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:07 PM

18. .

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:12 PM

19. That's so disturbing...I don't know what to say...so I won't even try.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:14 PM

20. so sorry you went through that experience

and I hope that those who did it go to sleep every night thinking of how shameful they were, and fearing someone may do the same to someone they love.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:16 PM

21. .

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:16 PM

22. Wow! There just are no words that would not get me banned. Your ability to deal with this all

this time is courageous. I am sorry this happened to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:16 PM

24. Hugs to you, MindPilot!

I hope you were able to get the counseling you needed to work through the trauma.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:16 PM

25. (( ))

.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:18 PM

26. ((()))

 

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:19 PM

27. K & R!

Thanks for your brave honesty MP.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:20 PM

28. My heart aches for you

A bunch of hugs and light coming your way.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:22 PM

29. I am so sorry.

My niece was raped many years ago. I sat in the police station with her while she gave her statement to the detective. He did not want me in the room, she did, so I stayed. I turned my back to them & just listened to the horror she was subjected to. They arrested the guy & he served time.

Many years later my Mom was in the hospital. My niece & had gone down to the coffee shop & sat at the counter. The man who sat next to her was her rapist. He did not recognize her, she did him. We got out of there fast.

The long lasting trauma cannot be minimized. For a long time after the rape every dark haired male I saw brought it all back. And at that time I only knew what he looked like by the statement she gave to the detective. I cannot imagine what you have lived with. My deepest sympathy.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:23 PM

30. I'm so sorry, MindPilot.

But thank you for sharing your story. The only people who should have serious reservations about talking about rape are the ones who perpetrate it.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:23 PM

31. i curse the cowards who hurt you

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:24 PM

32. I'm so sorry mindpilot

Im glad you said it. I do believe that talking about it will help. It's a step towards moving past it. Whatever it may bring, you are ready to face it. And
my heart goes out to you

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:26 PM

33. I'm so sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:27 PM

34. I am so sorry that happened to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:27 PM

35. Hey MindPilot

Sharing that just means some of your friends are willing to carry some of the weight of the burden. I hope it empowers you to open up.

And I'm really sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:30 PM

36. OMG I feel terrible for you not to have justice. You might have been in more danger

 

if you had reported it. I bet you can relate what happens when women feel no one care when they are raped. Have you been able to work through that mess?

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:32 PM

37. I'm so sorry! I hope talking helps with the healing process.

I've heard that male-male rape takes place in the military, much more often than people would guess, and that it's almost never reported.

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Response to LongTomH (Reply #37)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:55 PM

49. I did a lot of research a few years ago

If you factor in the prison population, heterosexual male-male rape is quite possibly more common than male-female rape.

I would guess that even today most men would not report a sexual assault.

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Response to MindPilot (Reply #49)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 11:28 AM

141. I imagine there might have been quite of few sailors on that ship just like you

rapists don't just rape one person and then stop.

It is good that you're talking about it. I know it will go a long way towards healing you. I was sexually molested when I was 6 years old. I finally talked about it when I was 40 years old, and I wish I had talked about it much sooner because it really helped to say the words. I told everyone in my family as well as my teenage son.

Yet it has taken me until today to finally say that I was raped by a pedophile. What else could he have been?

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:32 PM

38. So awful...I am so sorry.

 

I do not understand what drives people to do such things. When we talk about evil surely this must be in the realm of what is envisioned.

I am so sorry for what you went through. The pure senselessness of it must have been such a burden.

Hugs...

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:32 PM

39. Cold comfort, I know...

..but you are not alone. A lot of women.. and some men... have had the same horrible experience.

The numbers these days are truly staggering. One in three military women has been sexually assaulted, compared to one in six civilian women, according to Defense. A servicewoman was nearly 180 times more likely to have become a victim of military sexual assault (MSA) in the past year than to have died while deployed during the last 11 years of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. 52 assaults a day. I just watched "The Invisible War", which deals with this topic. It's excellent... and chilling.

Off topic, but oddly NOT off topic.... If we do this kind of thing to our own sisters-in-arms, what does it say about not just our military, but about our whole culture? Maybe we can't afford to be an Empire with US troops all over the world doing god-knows-what. Maybe we can't afford it economically.... or morally.



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Response to Bigmack (Reply #39)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:06 PM

142. Think you're right.

I remember my mother claiming that a female officer in the navy was in fact a prostitute and that she deserved to get gang raped when a scandal broke out in the 80s I was horrified at my mother's words. Her lack of empathy appalled me.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:33 PM

40. You are very brave to post this. It must be so painful to recount.

But it is also very important that everyone know what is happening to women. I don't think a lot has changed in the Navy since 1972 with regard to the horror of rape. Unfortunately, the victims all too often suffer in silence because of the very reasons you cite. We need more women to come out like you just did. There is strength in numbers.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:35 PM

41. Very courageous, my personal respects for speaking out.

This kind of shit has to stop.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:36 PM

42. ...

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:36 PM

43. MindPilot............

So sorry for what was done to you. No one should ever have to endure being tortured and terrorized like that.

And thank you for sharing your story with us. That couldn't have been easy, but we're all here for you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:43 PM

44. I would bet that you weren't the only one on that ship subjected to rape

This group probably made a habit of it, to intimidate and control others. To prevent others from creating a group that was stronger by causing suspicion that couldn't be spoken of so it just caused people to keep to themselves. So sorry, glad you can speak about it now.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:46 PM

45. You won because you survived and became strong enough to talk about it

You have remained a functional human and humane person.

You won

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:48 PM

46. ...



You aren't alone. I understand everything you said. Feeling eyes watching you. Watching everyone else. Being on guard 24/7 from that point forward. Not telling anyone for years. I didn't either. Many of us don't, both women and men. We think we're strong enough and we usually are. Breaking the silence takes strength, too, and it helps others. Now you've done that here as well as in your real life. We're stronger together with you than we were without you. Thank you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:51 PM

47. (((hug)))



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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:51 PM

48. I am so sorry that you experienced that. I wish you Peace. nt

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:56 PM

50. so sorry for you.

thank you for trusting du as a safe place to come out with this.


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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:59 PM

51. I hope talking about it helps you.

The speech divides the pain among all of us and we are many.
It also diminishes the thoughts that do not go away, and does so until they are small.

I wish you well, peace and ever increasing times of unfettered happiness.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:59 PM

52. I hope the reaction here has warmed you a little.

I'm so sorry such a terrible thing happened to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:00 PM

53. I am so sorry you had to experience this.

I hope the perpetrators have horrible lives, like they deserve.

I also want to commend you for telling your story. That isn't easy, whether you're a man or a woman (you don't say) and it takes a lot of courage - not only to put words to your ordeal, but also because of the fear of the reaction, as you point out in your headline. Thank you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:06 PM

54. I salute you

for having the guts to say this. Rape is bad enough, but in the Military, these guys were the very definition of "domestic enemies."

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:09 PM

55. Oh my god. I think it's REALLY important to share this. Knowing is the first step toward progress.

Incredible. Absolutely terrifying. And then the humiliation of denial.

I have said it in the gun threads, and the same applies here, these people have also been traumatized in their lives. They just passed it on to you. And the therapists were also in denial about their own life experiences.

I'm glad you have this DU family to share with. As large a community as we are, it's safe here.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:09 PM

56. If I met you and I knew what happened to you Id only think how strong and brave you are!

And how fucking stupid that psychiatrist was. Thanks for your service as well!
Tell your story man!!! The type of stuff you went through is probably not uncommon and
people need to know they are not alone when they go through it!!

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Response to busterbrown (Reply #56)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:06 PM

88. +1 psychiatrist was an idiot, perhaps still is one

it's amazing what some so-called "helping professionals" say to traumatized people.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:10 PM

57. Thank you and bless you

Thank you for your service, thank you for your bravery in service and now. I would believe now may be a bit more difficult. Hope you have a good support system at home, but if not you must be able to feel that love and support from here.
--All the best to you,
Anna

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:10 PM

58. A very courageous post

Thank you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:14 PM

59. I am so sorry. Thank you for telling your story.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:14 PM

60. Sincerely hope your reservations have been allayed...

...it is good to get it out. Otherwise it eats away at you inside. Hope that you have been able to put this aside and live your life to it's fullest. God Bless...thank you for serving your country, and I'm fairly sure those bums have had their come-up pin's by now.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:15 PM

61. You're a survivor

You've made so much progress over years that you've become able to post about it on DU. That is something to take a measure of pride in.



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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:19 PM

62. I'm so sorry. Thank you for

your courage. I hope time has helped, at least some. It helped me, but good counseling helped the most.
Peace.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:20 PM

63. You're a better man than I am. At that age I probably would have murdered someone in revenge.

 

Someone at random if I couldn't find the actual culprits.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:22 PM

64. I'm terribly sorry you had to go thru that, MindPilot.

Not sure what else to say, except: I'm glad you had the courage to share this story and we'll always be here for you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:22 PM

65. My God. I'm so sorry. That's so inadequate, but I don't know what else to say.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:24 PM

66. we shall come out together.

I was to. Some people dont realize you can be raped by objects other than the "usual".
It happened when I was 7 by the 18 year old babysitter who lived next door.
As an adult your memories of this and the after math are so clear .
I just remember thinking, can i go and have the snack you promised? Sorry about you, me and all others that suffered.

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #66)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:36 PM

72. ...

I'm sorry for what you went through. Thank you for your openness.

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #66)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:03 PM

84. I am so so so sorry. nt

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:24 PM

67. ..

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:26 PM

68. That's a burden to carry all those years

Wish I could give you a hug.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:30 PM

69. I'm so very sorry, MindPilot, you have so much courage to come out and share this with us.


I hope you have put this incident in its proper "box" and can enjoy life, love and everything good that there is out there.......... going forward.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:33 PM

70. Thank you for your bravery.

I believe sickness propagates in the dark and hidden places of society. Exposure disinfects. We HAVE to talk about these things.

Thank you for being courageous enough to talk about your experience. The more we are all aware of the damage that people do the more the good amongst us will reject and seek change.

I am sorry you had to endure what you did. And i'm sorry for the ignorance of those who hurt you further, after the fact.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:36 PM

71. I'm glad you reported that psychiatrist

You were probably right not to report the rape at the time. You would have become the issue, not the crime.

Thanks for telling us. I hope it helped you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:38 PM

73. Yikes! Bummer.....

 

n/t

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:39 PM

74. Hi MindPilot.


This sounds utterly horrible, and to hold onto that knowledge for so long... it can take years and years for the knots tied in your soul by a single act of abuse to unravel. I hope you are as OK as you can be.



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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:40 PM

75. I salute your bravery

in telling your story. How horrendous for you. My heart goes out to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:43 PM

76. So sorry this happened to you.

Peace to you from me.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:45 PM

77. I'm so sorry that you had to suffer

such humiliation and physical pain for so long. You're lucky to be alive because anal rape with a mop handle could have punctured/ruptured your colon, prostate, and god knows what else. THANK YOU for sharing your story. I hope you know that rape does not demean your worth, it demeans your attackers.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:45 PM

78. Oh WOW......

you have my deepest sympathy and support.......God Bless You

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:52 PM

79. I admire your courage.



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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:55 PM

80. ...

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:59 PM

81. I'm so sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:59 PM

82. Well, damn them all.


And a big pat on the back to you for this post and for your endurance all these years.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:00 PM

83. I'm sorry you went through

that

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:03 PM

85. So many thoughts on this I don't know where to begin or end...

The fact that it was a work place situation in a confined environment where you couldn't just leave seems to make the horror all that much worse. That you had no one to report the well I am going to call it attempted murder because the way the attack was carried out could have very well killed you. Then when you seek help the person that is entrusted to do that does the exact opposite. I wish I could say things have gotten better, but I don't see it so I am not going to say it. I really wish there were fewer people that have experienced these kinds of things in their life. But, it is a very real part of our culture and it seems that legislators are asleep at the wheel on this issue.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:03 PM

86. I am so sorry for all you have suffered.

And I am sorry that so many people are so incredibly ignorant.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:05 PM

87. YOU, my dear, are a very strong individual. I am sorry for what occurred,

what our Navy didnt do for you and what your comrade in arms got away with. Karma for them will be interesting.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:15 PM

89. Awful. When I was in the Navy


They used to talk about a hazing or form inter-enlisted discipline called "getting greased," where-- if you would do something to piss your shipmates off-- they would hold you down and anally rape you with a grease-gun, pumping grease into you anus.

I never went to the fleet, I got medical discharged before my training was complete. However, it seemed that everybody knew about this, and everybody thought it was funny and justified in some cases. I'm pretty certain it was practiced.

So, I know the mop handle had to do in a pinch. I'm sorry you went through that, man. As bad as it was for the guys, I had a feeling the Women in the Navy had it worse. These are guys who consider rape either light entertainment of a justifiable as vengeance or discipline.

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Response to caseymoz (Reply #89)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:00 AM

120. I had a friend that was in the navy.

He was assaulted on his first tour when he crossed the equator with a grease gun.
He told me one night when he was drunk as a funny story, but the look in his eyes held no amusement, only pain.

I really had no words, so I packed another bowl and handed him another beer.

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Response to blackspade (Reply #120)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 02:40 AM

123. Yes, I forgot about the "equator rape."


That was what I was told. You see, for sailors, rape is supposed to be sport. A bonding experience.

However, since I never went to the fleet-- to my relief-- I only heard from guys who had buddies who went through it. I don't think anybody I talked to on shore ever told me first hand. I never doubted the practice, though.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:32 PM

90. I'm so sorry. That is horrific.

I hope you have managed to recover from this, what happened to you is absolutely vile.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:37 PM

91. Thank you all n/t

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:44 PM

92. ((((Glad you are here)))) Can't say more past the tears.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:45 PM

93. Despicable act by despicable cowards.

I am so truly sorry. (((( ))))

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:48 PM

94. Thank you for coming forward and bravely telling of your brutal attack.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:49 PM

95. ...

no words, just a

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:56 PM

96. I'm so sorry you went through that.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:03 PM

97. I am completely shocked to see

ETA: While I was seeking treatment through the VA, one psychiatrist I saw said in his report that that I was probably fabricating, or at least embellishing the story because the experience of being anally raped had not made me gay. I was shocked, but not nearly as shocked as the director of that facility when I showed her the report.


That people actually believed this, and still believe it to this day. I mean, what the hell?

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:05 PM

98. I am so sorry for you Mind Pilot. It makes me so angry and sad I cannot think of what to say.

I feel terrible for you, but thank you for sharing your story and I hope that you find peace and justice someday.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:06 PM

99. I'm sorry that happened to you

and sorry that the system let you down afterwards.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:07 PM

100. You brave soul!

I am so sorry this happened to you, and I cannot begin to imagine everything you went through afterwards.

Horrifying!

Wishing you peace.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:12 PM

102. damn....so, so sorry.

brave.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:16 PM

103. What kind of psychiatrist would make such a shoddy report?

": While I was seeking treatment through the VA, one psychiatrist I saw said in his report that that I was probably fabricating, or at least embellishing the story because the experience of being anally raped had not made me gay."

sounds like something the Fox Boobs psychiatrist KEITH ABLOW(hard) would say, in fact the quack wants to run for John Kerry's seat.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014355477

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Response to alp227 (Reply #103)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 09:31 AM

139. I think that guy's job was to deny claims.

The idea that an experience like that would turn someone from hetero to homosexual is silly on its face.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:32 PM

104. Thank you for sharing your story

 

I admire your courage in sharing your story. Saying I'm sorry isn't nearly enough but not sure what else to say. I can't imagine continuing with your duties knowing that there were other men you served with who could've been the ones who raped you; guys who may have sat with you to eat and smiled in your face knowing the animalistic behavior they committed. Mind you in the early 70s, homosexuality in the DSM had not been taken out as a disorder. HOWEVER, it's still asinine to think being anally raped makes you gay. I mean WTF?!!!!!!

Also, this kind of thing happens more with men than people think. A previous poster put up a graph that broke down the incidents that have been reported. You said you didn't report it and believe me that while it happens more with women than men, it's more under reported by men than women.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 07:37 PM

105. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 08:27 PM

106. Stay strong.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 08:27 PM

107. You are not alone

I'm sorry for what you went through. I have a story too, but I'm not going to share. Just know that it does not define us. I applaud you for sharing.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 08:28 PM

108. OMG. I'm so sorry MindPilot

I do appreciate you sharing your story. It's important information for the rest of us, particularly other victims.

Thank you that. It must have been very difficult to put this out here.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 08:29 PM

109. I'm very sorry that that happened to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 08:29 PM

110. So sad...

so sorry.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:10 PM

111. Someone should fire that psychiatrist....

a traumatic experience can't make you gay.... what an idiot. I don't even understand the premise....

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:22 PM

112. I'm so so sorry. I hope something is done about this! nt

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:22 PM

113. Jesus!

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:23 PM

114. To be assaulted once is horrendous but to be

assaulted a second time by that fecking idiot of a shrink...how horrible! I am so sorry for what you have been through

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:37 PM

115. That is the reason this Navy vet has done everything to keep his children out the Navy and out...

of the military. It is an unmitigated shame that it is such a big secret with the public. ALL of the branches are covering up a lot of sexual attacks, a significantly higher amount than occur in the civilian world,.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 10:21 PM

116. did they fire that psych quack?

I'm utterly horrified, first by your ordeal, then by how you were treated by someone who was supposed to help you.



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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 10:56 PM

118. I Am So Very Sorry

Last edited Fri Jan 4, 2013, 03:32 PM - Edit history (1)

What can I say in a few words that could possibly help you deal with trauma of such a monstrous, unforgivable sort?

Perhaps only this: I thank you for letting us know. For allowing us to express our horror at the double crime committed against you (the initial assault followed by that idiot's dismissive comment). For letting us have the chance to express sincere solidarity and support.

I think you are very strong and courageous. You must be. You survived, did not destroy yourself, refused to allow this one ugly incident to define and limit you.

A lot of us are dealing with traumas of one sort or another. In reaching out to console another, we help diminish and heal our own pain (existential and otherwise).

The most intelligent, empathetic and decent amongst us are all walking wounded.

I hope that you are hurting a little less after tonight . . .

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 11:48 PM

119. That sucks. I totally understand how you feel.

As a child I was abused (thankfully not by family).
It literally took me 20 years to move past it especially after a similar assault in college.

But I did move on. I just had to accept that sometimes shitty things happen along with the good.

You are not alone my brother.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:36 AM

121. As all have said, I'm sorry and I salute you


Whatever empathy or support we can offer, we do.

Whatever strength you can take from us, take.

Whatever courage you need, you have multiplied in us.

Thank you

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:42 AM

122. Fuck.

Terrible. Nothing to be said that wasn't already, other than another voice saying "I'm sorry"

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 02:52 AM

124. How truly awful. I hope these men, whoever they were, have spent the last

40 years reflecting upon their own cruelty and sick behavior. THEY should be the ones with a burdensome, shameful secret--not you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 02:58 AM

125. I'm so sorry. I've found that many psychiatrists, especially old-timers are using old theories.

Although I can't recall ever hearing that theory in any of my studies.

I hope you feel relief from disclosing this - it was very brave of you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 03:12 AM

126. I am glad that you are here and willing to share your story...

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 03:17 AM

127. (())


I'm so sorry that happen to you MindPilot. Horrible.
Thank you for sharing your story of survival. Sending you good thoughts and peace.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 04:52 AM

128. i'm so sorry you had to go through that.

i shudder imagining the pain and the horror and the hurt.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 05:15 AM

129. Very sorry to hear about this MindPilot

Sitting here shaking my head wondering what kind of, "human", could do this to someone.

They can't really be, "human", in my estimation.

Again, I am so sorry for you.

Thanks for posting this here.

Don

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 05:44 AM

130. You have my deepest sympathies. So many people don't understand the

pervading attitudes toward sexual assault victims, I'm sorry you are one of the may who know what it's like. I think it's particularly hard for men, who are the rarer victims and therefore feel more shame and guilt than we women do. As a fellow survivor, I salute your courage and welcome you to the club. It's a hard thing to get past and I have had the same callousness directed at me from others that you got from that clueless psychiatrist. Sadly, it was from a former spouse who also liked to think I exaggerated the abuse in my early life. One of the many reasons he's my ex and not my current husband. Thank God everyone is not like that.

Not every therapist is like that asshole. If you feel you need more support, find a good one. I did. I wish you well. I support you in your decision to come forward and I hope it helps others like us. Much love to you.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 06:57 AM

131. No words... just this:

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 07:38 AM

132. I am deeply sorry about what happened to you

and it really disturbs me to think of the cruelty and evil those disgusting individuals inflicted on you. My sympathies are also with the others in the thread who shared their thoughts about similar incidents that happened to them as well. Thank you for sharing your stories for us.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 07:46 AM

133. Thank You For Your Courage. NT

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 08:11 AM

134. A mop handle?

That's not a rape; That's assault with intent to kill. Rupture of tissues, organs, peritonitis and death are all possibilities in this scenario. That little "hazing prank" was as innocent as a gang of street thugs beating someone to death with a tire iron. It truly is sad that there is no retribution other than the knowledge that those kind of people self destruct early on in life.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 08:12 AM

135. Big hugs to you.

That you had to live something so horrible is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 08:27 AM

136. (((Hugs)))

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 08:27 AM

137. This country just sucks!

What kind of a nation attacks its own people? And in time of war?

Sickening.


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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 08:43 AM

138. I'm sorry, MindPilot.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 09:33 AM

140. I am sorry to hear you had to go through something so horrendous as that.

And the insults after the fact too. Rape is not treated as the serious crime it is in this country. That needs to change.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:08 PM

143. ((((MindPilot))))

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 12:46 PM

144. i'm sorry

about your experience

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 01:06 PM

145. ((((MindPilot))))) and the same to all here who've gone through the same or

similar experiences. Your courage here helps others and I hope it's helped you.




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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 01:21 PM

146. Good on ya for courage..

then and now. I was on a small Navy ship in the sixties, and the atmosphere was decidedly shackled with an unwritten, but very formal code of conduct. I saw nothing like what you experienced, but I guarantee it could have happened.

Thing is, everybody was fine with going ashore and getting drunk and hitting the local brothels.

So I know the atmosphere you served in, and I can fully understand your reluctance to share your journey, your challenges, your ordeal. I salute you for strength and courage, and for sharing a little of your journey here.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 01:30 PM

147. Damn. Horrible! Thank you for opening up like this. That couldn't have been easy.

The tragedy is how the system reinforced your remaining silent and others around you to be complicit and/or just plain loutish and ignorant - for so long. And we all know, unfortunately, that prevailing attitude is still alive and well to this very hour.

DISGUSTING. And a damned DISGRACE. Rape is rape. And it's a CRIME. In every sense of the word. And a SIN of the worst kind.

And even the perpetrators who are somehow brought to justice don't pay the price anywhere NEAR as long as their victims do - for the rest of their scarred, assaulted, and violated lives.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 02:20 PM

148. (hug)

Very traumatic situation. Sorry you had to endure that and the second trauma of having it downplayed. You survived and now you are here for others. Bet your mail box fills up with messages from those of us who never shared with anyone else. You are brave beyond words.

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Response to MindPilot (Original post)

Fri Jan 4, 2013, 03:39 PM

149. i am so very sorry. Wishing good things for you.

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