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Thu Jan 3, 2013, 02:45 AM

It really is the little things in life



Andrew Kaczynski ‏@BuzzFeedAndrew
It really is the little things in life: pic.twitter.com/kmtwo6BP

9 replies, 1103 views

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Arrow 9 replies Author Time Post
Reply It really is the little things in life (Original post)
bigtree Jan 2013 OP
In_The_Wind Jan 2013 #1
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #2
yends21012 Jan 2013 #3
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #4
TahitiNut Jan 2013 #5
pinboy3niner Jan 2013 #6
TahitiNut Jan 2013 #8
bigtree Jan 2013 #9
ReRe Jan 2013 #7

Response to bigtree (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:08 AM

1. Yes indeed it is.

Thank you bigtree.

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Response to bigtree (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 03:32 AM

2. Cherish the small joys

And the small connections.

I learned today that MiddleFingerMom lost his brother at the young age of 33.

And that his brother went to a Rose Bowl game in 1966.

And that, as I was there at that game, too, MFM's brother, Tom, and I watched that game together.

Like many of us here, I already have a strong connection to MFM. But discovering, 47 years after the fact, that I also share a connection to the brother MFM lost--that just blows me away.

Some of the people I knew may also have attended that Rose Bowl game, but I don't know of any who did. The only person I'm aware of in the whole world who shared that experience with me, I discovered today, was MFM's brother, Tom. Who died at the young age of 33. And whom MFM still remembers and misses terribly...

And I was able to tell MFM that I shared that experience with Tom...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018270581

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Response to bigtree (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:01 AM

3. Beautiful picture

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Response to bigtree (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 04:15 AM

4. The little things...

After 20 years, I found the family of a friend, Joe, whom I'd lost in Vietnam. I also found others who had served with or known him, and we arranged to meet at the Wall with Joe's family to lay a wreath at his panel.

That was a big thing.

But when we met there for the wreath-laying, I kept avoiding Joe's brother, Bruce. It was only later that night that I realized why. Bruce was the spitting image of Joe. He looked like him, walked like him, and talked like him.

When that hit me, I suddenly felt terrible, and called Bruce to meet with him at his hotel. We had a long talk in which Bruce told me it should have been him who died in VN instead of Joe (Bruce was in the Army at the time, but served in Germany), and how much he missed Joe and how they should have been gathering at family barbecues together.

I'm not sure exactly what I told Bruce, but I know I worked hard to dispel the notion of his guilt.

Some years later, on a cross-country trip from CA, I met Bruce at his hometown in South Carolina. His demeanor was totally different from when I'd first met him, he was exuberant. He had no memory of his past bitterness or of our discussion, and he had a completely different view of his brother's loss.

I don't know if our talk had anything to do with it, but seeing such a dramatic change in Bruce was one "little thing" that made me feel a lot better...

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #4)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:37 AM

5. Survivor's Guilt

Yeah ... it's no small thing. I felt it after "coming home." It even crept up on me during the initial years of Iraq & Afghanistan. Maybe it's something non-veterans feel, too ... but I find it very difficult to have a "normal" life while other guys are in a war we're ALL responsible for. It's how I'm wired, I guess.

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Response to TahitiNut (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:54 AM

6. It's not just you, brother

And it's not just war trauma survivors. If you ever talk to a rape survivor, you'll hear the same thing.

It's natural and human to have those feelings--and to have subsequent events bring them back.

We can get help to deal with that, as you know. But ultimately it's up to us to manage our trauma so that--getting back to the OP--we can enjoy the little things. We deserve that.

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #6)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 09:47 AM

8. Yup.

I've done support group work with survivors of childhood sexual abuse and found a kind of "kinship" and deep understanding that apparently came across. It was karma. The gal who helped me most post-Vietnam was such a survivor ... and she saved my life. "Giving back" because of her has been a kind of 'mission' for me. I can't even begin to express the gratitude I have for the opportunity to do so.


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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #4)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 12:01 PM

9. great posts, pinboy3niner

thank you

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Response to bigtree (Original post)

Thu Jan 3, 2013, 05:56 AM

7. Priceless!

...are the little things. Look at the nails on that squirrel. I have shasta daisies and squirrels, but I've never noticed the squirrels sniffing the flowers before. Now sometimes I have found some half-eaten tomatoes and have never caught the guilty animal that's partaking. I assume it's the squirrels.

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