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Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:22 PM

Fox Looking for New War to Stoke Outrage. “War on Christmas too Short”

Last edited Wed Jan 2, 2013, 10:08 AM - Edit history (1)

“We’re asking our audience for input,” said Irena Briganti, head of Fox News Media Relations. “There’s like ten and a half months when all we have to war on is, logic, poor people, reason, climate change, blacks, immigrants, fair trade, China, clean energy, science, Muslims, nuns, postal workers, teachers, unions, liberals, professors, Obama, the middle class and reality…. We’re in a bind here.”

“What we are asking for is an interim war, not a replacement, of the War on Christmas,” added Stuart Varney. “…Can’t stress that enough. Nothing in the history of mankind can equal, or even come close to, the outrage of a Christian being told, ‘Happy Holidays’ - and we will never forget that. But, you can’t very well wage a War on Christmas in April, now can you? Although we could add Boxing Day to the mix and get another day out of the War on Christmas... but that’s not nearly enough!”

“We’re leaning toward a seasonal theme, maybe,” Ms. Briganti stated, seeming to think out loud. “A War on Summer, tied to global warming,” she said, trailing off for a bit.

“Well, you get the idea,” said Ms. Briganti. “It’s in your hands now. Please send your ideas for a new war to: FOX News Channel 1211 Avenue of the Americas, 2nd Floor, New York, NY 10036 Phone: 212-301-3000. You’ll be glad you did. Thank you.”

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Arrow 35 replies Author Time Post
Reply Fox Looking for New War to Stoke Outrage. “War on Christmas too Short” (Original post)
20score Jan 2013 OP
Flashmann Jan 2013 #1
brucefan Jan 2013 #2
20score Jan 2013 #3
11 Bravo Jan 2013 #18
20score Jan 2013 #21
reACTIONary Jan 2013 #19
20score Jan 2013 #24
uponit7771 Jan 2013 #20
Initech Jan 2013 #4
L0oniX Jan 2013 #5
FSogol Jan 2013 #7
loyalkydem Jan 2013 #6
suede1 Jan 2013 #8
jberryhill Jan 2013 #9
20score Jan 2013 #10
spanone Jan 2013 #11
obxhead Jan 2013 #12
punkin87 Jan 2013 #13
20score Jan 2013 #25
Dash87 Jan 2013 #14
20score Jan 2013 #15
salinen Jan 2013 #16
20score Jan 2013 #31
hbskifreak Jan 2013 #17
20score Jan 2013 #23
Grins Jan 2013 #22
Historic NY Jan 2013 #27
liberal N proud Jan 2013 #26
timesamillion Jan 2013 #28
20score Jan 2013 #30
Erose999 Jan 2013 #29
20score Jan 2013 #32
suede1 Jan 2013 #33
20score Jan 2013 #34
Quantess Jan 2013 #35

Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:27 PM

1. Great idea

How about a war on fact distortion,hypocricy,journalistic lying........OHhhhhhhhhh......Nevermind....Forgot to whom I was speaking....

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:28 PM

2. This is the Onion

Right?

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Response to brucefan (Reply #2)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:35 PM

3. Mine, but thanks.

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Response to 20score (Reply #3)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 08:48 PM

18. Damn, I just assumed it was the Onion or Borowitz, or something of that ilk ...

Brilliant! K&R

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Response to 11 Bravo (Reply #18)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 09:46 PM

21. Damn! Thanks!

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Response to 20score (Reply #3)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 09:01 PM

19. +20 for 20score (nt)

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Response to reACTIONary (Reply #19)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 11:40 PM

24. Very nice!

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Response to 20score (Reply #3)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 09:10 PM

20. +1!

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:35 PM

4. Why just stop at Christmas? Easter is a few short months away!

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:39 PM

5. How about a war on stupid. n/t

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Response to L0oniX (Reply #5)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:44 PM

7. We are losing that war.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:42 PM

6. Can we have a war on Fox?

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:48 PM

8. Getting all this good feed back but so few recs? Weird. n/t

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:48 PM

9. Can't they cover the War on Orthodox Christmas?


Eastern Orthodox Christians aren't done yet.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:56 PM

10. BTW...

The contact information is the real thing.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:57 PM

11. FUax.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 06:57 PM

12. The next biggie is right around the corner...

The war on Easter!

I imagine they're already trying to locate the bunny for his take on the coming battle plans.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 07:15 PM

13. That is too funny!

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Response to punkin87 (Reply #13)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 08:54 AM

25. Thanks!

Last edited Wed Jan 2, 2013, 10:06 AM - Edit history (1)

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 07:23 PM

14. A war on Atheists

Everyone knows that Atheists are blood-sucking mutants that descend from the mountains at dusk. They can even slither under the cracks of your doors on Christmas Eve and steal your Christmas presents. O'Reilly has talked about this multiple times, but it's time Fox gets more serious with it.

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Response to Dash87 (Reply #14)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 07:38 PM

15. That, is a good idea.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 08:05 PM

16. very nice

 

shades of Borowitz.

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Response to salinen (Reply #16)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 10:59 AM

31. Much thanks!

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 08:31 PM

17. Let's have a war on the war on Christmas

Yeah, that's it. Lets go after those who go after the war on Christmas. Wait, who's side would that be, anyway, just to be clear?

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Response to hbskifreak (Reply #17)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 10:44 PM

23. Ski Freak!

Always great to see you here!

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 10:28 PM

22. "...the outrage of a Christian.."

"Nothing in the history of mankind can equal, or even come close to, the outrage of a Christian being told, ‘Happy Holidays’"

What? What?

Srsly. I may be a (lapsed) Catholic, but I have never been offended, when my Christian or Jewish friends say "Happy Holidays" to me. They mean it with good will and kindness.

Varney - STFU!

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Response to Grins (Reply #22)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 09:00 AM

27. What did they call it in 1AD?

But I agree with you.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 08:55 AM

26. They could have a war on Valentines Day followed by a War on Easter



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Response to 20score (Original post)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 09:17 AM

28. This is too good!

Really, this needs to be posted on a site where radical right crazies will see it because I guarantee you that at least a few will think it's real.

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Response to timesamillion (Reply #28)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 10:15 AM

30. Thank you!

I'm open to any ideas. Please PM me if you think of any places to post this.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 09:33 AM

29. Well for me the war on Christmas is year-round. I genuinely despise it. Also count me in for a war


on Valentine's Day, a war on Easter, and a war on Columbus Day.

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Response to Erose999 (Reply #29)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 11:46 AM

32. Perfect face to put on this.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 01:57 PM

33. Has anyone contacted Fox? That would be awesome!

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Response to suede1 (Reply #33)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 03:44 PM

34. I hope so.

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Response to 20score (Original post)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 04:02 PM

35. Do they have anything to say about this?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014350430

Or is it taboo to mention one of our allies engaging in an actual "War on Christmas"?

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