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Tue Jan 1, 2013, 01:44 PM

How Do You Know If You Are A Teacher?

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy
I walked into the copy room and this was sitting on a table with the words: "This is a must READ ". I agree, and I think it is also a "Must SHARE!" I Googled it and realized it has been around for years, but I got a laugh out of most of them!

1-You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
2-You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
3-You walk into a store and hear the words, "It's Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
4-You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5-You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
6-You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
7-You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8-You believe the Teacher's Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9-You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off".
10-You believe chocolate is a food group.
11-You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12-You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
13-You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14-You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15-You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16-You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17-You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
18-You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a "good choice" or "bad choice."
19-You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
20-You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
21-You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
http://oldschoolteach.wordpress.com/

Ha!
Word!

17 replies, 1477 views

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Arrow 17 replies Author Time Post
Reply How Do You Know If You Are A Teacher? (Original post)
Are_grits_groceries Jan 2013 OP
frazzled Jan 2013 #1
DryRain Jan 2013 #7
whistler162 Jan 2013 #9
We People Jan 2013 #14
frazzled Jan 2013 #12
Igel Jan 2013 #13
DryRain Jan 2013 #15
uponit7771 Jan 2013 #17
DollarBillHines Jan 2013 #11
proud2BlibKansan Jan 2013 #2
Morning Dew Jan 2013 #3
DryRain Jan 2013 #16
Odin2005 Jan 2013 #4
spartan61 Jan 2013 #5
RebelOne Jan 2013 #6
badhair77 Jan 2013 #8
whistler162 Jan 2013 #10

Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 01:51 PM

1. I'm a little offput by #21

21-You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.

While that may sometimes be true, it's often the case that, say, an outgoing parent has a shy child; a perfectly well adjusted parent has an antsy, or antisocial, or ADD kid, etc. I think that it's really and truly unfair and simplistic for anyone (teachers or not) to assume that every problem a kid has is due to some deficiency on the part of parents.

Why do people hate parents so much?

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Response to frazzled (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 02:56 PM

7. Some of this is simply exaggeration for effect, you know

 

Like the Margarita machine in the teacher's lounge, it's called "humor".

Some kids just push teachers' buttons for one reason or another, not ALL kids, and SOMETIMES their parents are a lot like the kid, (i.e. loud, impulsive, stubborn, insincere, poorly dressed, heavy, skinny, etc.) It's never universally true, but sometimes a little voice calls out in one's head when meeting the parents, saying..."OH now I know why!"

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Response to DryRain (Reply #7)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 04:06 PM

9. Okay we will go with that....

there is no Margarita machine in the teachers lounge and this is not the droid you are looking for!

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Response to whistler162 (Reply #9)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 09:09 PM

14. Most schools nowadays have no more teachers' lounge

Haven't even seen one for about 15 years.

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Response to DryRain (Reply #7)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 05:05 PM

12. Yes, I realize this is supposed to be humor ... but

it's probably not very funny to people who have children with serious problems, for which they've sought help and tried to do all the right things. And then they get looked at askance as the source of the problems. It's pretty hurtful, actually, both to individuals and to the whole process of helping children. Some things really aren't that funny.

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Response to frazzled (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 05:23 PM

13. And yet ...

It is funny.

And sometimes you get the impression that those parents who are seeking help and trying to do the right thing for their kid's problems ...

Had parents who were seeking help and trying to do the right thing for their kid's identical problems.

No, it's not always true. But "not always" isn't grounds for voiding a generalization. Sensitivity or not, it's often true.

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Response to frazzled (Reply #12)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 12:31 PM

15. I think you're reading WAY too much into this...

 

Have you been a teacher?

Most of the time, when that phenomenon happens, when parents and the child correspond in some way, it's not because the parent is seeking help, it's usually a physical or personality feature, simple as that.

I think parents that seek help for their children are to be blessed and thanked and congratulated for those efforts. That above comment in the list has little or nothing to do with that.

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Response to DryRain (Reply #7)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 12:34 PM

17. k, scratch me from the "wanna be" teachers list then :-)

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Response to frazzled (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 04:28 PM

11. We have a pet hummingbird in our store.

She just likes hanging around.

You would not believe how many kids harass her and how often their so-called "parents" get riled up when we tell the kids to leave her alone.

"It's just a bird."

I have a very rare agave in the store. Like $3,500 rare. Around Thanksgiving, some little shit attacked it with a Star Wars light sabre.
Fucked it up pretty good, too. I snatched the toy out of the kid's hands and gave it to his mother.

She said, "You must be one of those people who have trouble with children who are just being children" and threatened to have me charged with assault.

Jeebus

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 01:56 PM

3. You Know You Are A Teacher when...

You realize the same people who think you're a Union Thug want you to risk your life in armed conflict to protect their children.

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Response to Morning Dew (Reply #3)

Wed Jan 2, 2013, 12:34 PM

16. +10,0000,000

 

for all teachers and public service workers everywhere in unions.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 02:01 PM

4. LOL, sent this to a couple friends who are teachers!

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 02:52 PM

5. This is just about perfect!

After teaching 1st and 2nd graders for 32 years, I can say I recognize myself in all of these. What a hoot to read!

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 02:56 PM

6. I am going to forward this to my daughter.

She is a middle school teacher in South Florida.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 03:51 PM

8. I've been retired 2 years and I still

get excited at school supplies and laminating things. And sometimes I fall back into the habit of shoving down lunch in 20 min so I get to the bathroom and head back to class. My husband points it out to me. I wonder how many times I do it in public when he's not around.

Thanks for posting this. Although I still work with kids I'm happy I do not have to head off to work tomorrow morning. The first day back after a long break always demands patience and a need to get back into a routine.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Jan 1, 2013, 04:08 PM

10. Thanks posted to Facebook for my teacher

relatives.

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