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Fri Dec 28, 2012, 10:34 PM

I work with people who use the word 'retard' as an acceptable

Last edited Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:06 PM - Edit history (1)

term for anyone they don't agree with or have an issue with.

I live in Georgia and work with these people, so haven't said anything...yet.

But can we please try NOT to use this word? It doesn't even qualify for mentally challenged people, never mind being used as a term to discount peers?

I just don't get it. We all must have better vocabularies than using that.

You're welcome!

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Reply I work with people who use the word 'retard' as an acceptable (Original post)
babylonsister Dec 2012 OP
KharmaTrain Dec 2012 #1
babylonsister Dec 2012 #2
Warpy Dec 2012 #4
Demo_Chris Dec 2012 #16
HereSince1628 Dec 2012 #3
jody Dec 2012 #5
babylonsister Dec 2012 #14
csziggy Dec 2012 #6
babylonsister Dec 2012 #15
Kath1 Dec 2012 #7
jillan Dec 2012 #9
Kath1 Dec 2012 #10
jillan Dec 2012 #11
Kath1 Dec 2012 #12
jillan Dec 2012 #8
Demo_Chris Dec 2012 #17
liberal_at_heart Dec 2012 #13
Skittles Dec 2012 #18
babylonsister Dec 2012 #19
SidDithers Dec 2012 #20

Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:03 PM

1. I'm Betting That's A Generational Thing...

...a term we all threw around as kids that stuck with some over the years...not realizing how insensitive they sound but also using it in a "generic" sense. I see younger people are far more cognizant of people with mental disabilities and how that word can be seen as a pejorative. As someone who has someone in my immediate family that is mentally disabled I see people are far more careful on how they use words that we tossed around as kids. Maybe these folks aren't aware how juvenile and insensitive they sound...

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Response to KharmaTrain (Reply #1)

Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:12 PM

2. I have a friend here who is 30 y.o. and she

uses it... a lot. Drives me crazy! And her son (and supposedly herself) has ADD. I agree it's used in a generic sense, but it/she still drives me nuts when she uses it, and I have never said anything.
I've just convinced myself to say something, because I really like this lady, she has a good heart; maybe she doesn't realize how offensive it might be (or maybe I'm the only one offended?).
KT, always so great to see you-you are one of a few voices of reason on this crazy site and I love seeing you here!

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Response to babylonsister (Reply #2)

Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:32 PM

4. That's about the low end of the age that considers it acceptable

It came into common usage as a middle school taunt sometime in the late 70s, one reason folks my age generally don't use it.

"Retarded," after all, was the politically correct/Newspeak term that came in back in the late 40s and early 50s to replace the word "stupid" to describe kids on the left side of the bell curve. It's still the correct medical term.

Now because of those snotty middle schoolers, people out in the real world are trying to discredit the whole word instead of just the childish "retard." Good luck to them and the Red Sox, medical terminology is extremely difficult to change and they're just going to have to cope with it.

One place I never heard it as a pejorative was in health care. Mental retardation is no joke to people who know what it is.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #4)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 03:17 AM

16. This sounds about right

 

When I was a kid (middleschool) in the 70's the two most commonly used slurs were "retard" and "fag." The former, of course, meant stupid, and the later... I doubt any of us actually knew what the word even meant. Had you asked me in the 90's, I would have scoffed at the idea that either word was particularly offensive.

Today I know better.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:18 PM

3. I'm hoping it gets better when the playground bullies go back to school

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Fri Dec 28, 2012, 11:38 PM

5. babylonsister I agree completely with you and know no way to deal with the problem except without

 

anger to tell each person separately with as much privacy as possible that the word offends you.

Consider using a hypothetical such as childhood friend that has some limitations but is a dear friend etc.

Hope that helps.

My ancestors were one of the first three families that together settled Lowndes County with a land grant from service as an officer in the War for Independence.

PM me if you want to discuss further.

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Response to jody (Reply #5)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 01:47 AM

14. Thank you, Jody. nt

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 12:17 AM

6. By the age of eight I knew that word was not acceptable

My older sisters used it to mean 'stupid' but two of my elementary school friends had siblings that some used the word to be mean about. One girl's little sister had Down's Syndrome, another girl's brother had brain damage from a hole in his heart when he was born (something that is routinely fixed now, but in the 1950s was not).

The children in my age group in that neighborhood learned really fast that using that kind of language not only hurt the people we used it to insult, but it hurt our friends and their little brother and sister. Another word we stopped using was 'spastic' - it was hurtful, too.

If an entire neighborhood and much of a school can learn this, why can't society at large?

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Response to csziggy (Reply #6)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 02:37 AM

15. I've known it also. I don't know where it came from for me,

but just know it's wrong. My mom and sister worked with kids who were beautiful and needed help: beautiful children all. I HATE that word. No one is 'retarded'; the word needs to be retired.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 12:18 AM

7. Thank you.

I find it extremely offensive. Especially since I had a cousin with Down's syndrome who died suddenly just last year. I have quietly and calmly told people using that term about my cousin. I also tell them that if "normal" people had just a fraction of the joy, kindness and love she had in her heart, this world would be a much better place. It usually works. I hope that helps!

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Response to Kath1 (Reply #7)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 12:26 AM

9. Oh Kath (((hugs))) - I wrote almost the same thing without seeing your comment.

People are so ignorant when it comes to this population.

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Response to jillan (Reply #9)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 12:43 AM

10. jillan...

One of my best friends has an autistic daughter, 10 years old, she is raising by herself. What a struggle she has! But she gets by, day by day, out of love for her child. She once teared up as she told me how these terms people throw around really cut her to the bone and hurt her. Last time I was at her house I noticed a magnet she had on the refrigerator - "Thank you for staring at me. Maybe it will cure my autism. We'll work on your social skills later."

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Response to Kath1 (Reply #10)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 01:26 AM

11. Love that magnet! It's perfect :)

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Response to jillan (Reply #11)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 01:33 AM

12. I think so too!

And yes, smart women do vote democratic.
Peace. Happy New Year!

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 12:25 AM

8. Thank you!! I have a daughter that fits that description and it cuts like a knife thru my heart

when I hear people use that word as an insult because the truth is the majority of that population is the kindest, warmest hearted people you could ever meet.

And when I hear people use that word as an insult, I immediately think they are the ones that are mentally challenged.

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Response to jillan (Reply #8)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 03:18 AM

17. Sorry :(

 

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 01:35 AM

13. thank you

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 04:18 AM

18. you need to say something

I tell people my brother is severely autistic but he is smarter than any person using the word RETARD

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Response to Skittles (Reply #18)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 11:11 AM

19. I know I do, and I will, I promise!

It's bugged me for a long time, but I don't want to argue usually. This is worth the argument, if only to plant a seed so the next time they open their mouth, they might reconsider.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sat Dec 29, 2012, 11:13 AM

20. I've been on 2 juries in the last few days, both hid the post with "retard" used as a pejorative...

which is, I think, a positive sign.



Sid

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