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Wed Dec 26, 2012, 12:46 PM


Did you know, according to the TSA, Snow Globes are illegal?

Did you know, according to the TSA, Snow Globes are illegal?


Confession #4 : In Memory of Snow Globes Lost (and of All the Idiotic TSA Rules I Refused to Follow)

It’s holiday season, dear passengers, and for once, recently, the TSA gave you what is hands down the most heart-warming gift I have ever seen it hand out, though you may not have noticed: as of this last September, snow globes ceased to be automatically confiscated on behalf of the ongoing airport-security-theater war on terror. Only snow globes “bigger than a tennis ball” will be confiscated from you now. Blogger Bob, my insufferably annoying, mediocrity-of-a-counterpart over at the official TSA blog, will probably trumpet this generous concession to the American people soon, if he hasn’t already.

The entire ban on snow globes was just another of the many intelligence-insulting rules that I was often forced to follow during my time at TSA. Imagine having to look, year after year, into the faces of innocent children and tell them and their parents that their Pretty-Princess-in-a-Blizzard snow globe has to go into the trash. “But why,” little Angie would ask, puppy dog pouting, tears trembling.

Because there are people out there trying to terrorize you, little Angie, and in order to counter that, I have to tear this pretty princess snow globe from your little hands and toss it in the trash.

The really ridiculous thing is that for most of the years that I was supposed to be confiscating snow globes from people, we actually had the means to test them right there on the checkpoint– multispectrum electromagnetic analyzers, for example– which are fully capable of testing the liquids inside a snow globe. In case you’re not following closely because TSA terminology bores you into a deep coma as it did to me for nearly 7 years:

Taxpayers had paid for advanced machines that were capable of testing liquids in containers such as those of snow globes, and at the same time, were having their snow globes tossed out without the common sense benefit of the very same machines that their money had purchased in order to test the public’s liquids.

Stupid-storms such as this, straight out of a Joseph Heller novel, are business-as-usual when you work as a TSA officer, let me tell you.

The TSA is still doing this, throwing out all sorts of liquids that could easily be tested with the machines your tax dollars bought. Now here’s the TSA’s comeback for that (trust me, I’ve heard it a million times):

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Reply Did you know, according to the TSA, Snow Globes are illegal? (Original post)
SugarShack Dec 2012 OP
SugarShack Dec 2012 #1
SummerSnow Dec 2012 #2

Response to SugarShack (Original post)

Wed Dec 26, 2012, 01:28 PM

2. Next thing they will..

Begin to ban pregnant women cause they carry embryonic fluid.

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