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Sat Dec 22, 2012, 09:12 PM

I have to tell you. Just back from a "Christmas" party, Newtown area.

Last edited Sat Dec 22, 2012, 09:44 PM - Edit history (1)

Everyone was doing the usual christmas party stuff. Small talk, hashing over old stories, how are you you doing....You know, the usual everyday stuff. Then the conversation turns to the shooting and one of my close friends didn't look too well and I went over and gave her a hug and she said I have to leave. It was heart wrenching. She worked on some of those kids that day and she had lost it. I was actually amazed that she was doing so well going to the party and she was driving us. The fact is all the posturing doesn't matter when it hits this close to home. You feel helpless. One upside it looks like my band is going to be doing a benefit for Sandy Hook and that, at the least, is something.
We are home early and I needed to share. The anger in me is real and this insanity needs to stop now.


The views, the recs, and the silence. I get it. Thank you.

47 replies, 8008 views

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Reply I have to tell you. Just back from a "Christmas" party, Newtown area. (Original post)
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 OP
uppityperson Dec 2012 #1
progressoid Dec 2012 #2
groundloop Dec 2012 #3
angstlessk Dec 2012 #4
cantbeserious Dec 2012 #5
RoccoR5955 Dec 2012 #10
LibGranny Dec 2012 #6
bluemarkers Dec 2012 #7
Lisa0825 Dec 2012 #8
MichiganVote Dec 2012 #9
slampoet Dec 2012 #15
MichiganVote Dec 2012 #19
Stinky The Clown Dec 2012 #20
MichiganVote Dec 2012 #25
lunasun Dec 2012 #34
MichiganVote Dec 2012 #41
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #11
brewens Dec 2012 #12
Hekate Dec 2012 #38
nadinbrzezinski Dec 2012 #13
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #16
nadinbrzezinski Dec 2012 #21
WillyT Dec 2012 #14
Whovian Dec 2012 #17
calimary Dec 2012 #18
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #22
jillan Dec 2012 #32
Hekate Dec 2012 #23
nradisic Dec 2012 #24
MichiganVote Dec 2012 #27
steve2470 Dec 2012 #26
LineReply .
sarchasm Dec 2012 #28
barbtries Dec 2012 #29
freshwest Dec 2012 #30
tavalon Dec 2012 #31
hootinholler Dec 2012 #33
Cha Dec 2012 #35
NJCher Dec 2012 #36
davsand Dec 2012 #37
southern_belle Dec 2012 #39
JanMichael Dec 2012 #40
Squinch Dec 2012 #42
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #44
Squinch Dec 2012 #46
GreenPartyVoter Dec 2012 #43
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #45
Bonhomme Richard Dec 2012 #47

Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 09:44 PM

1. :(

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 09:54 PM

2. ...





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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:01 PM

3. PEACE


You're absolutely right, this insanity has to stop.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:12 PM

4. :,-(

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:13 PM

5. Hang In There - Some Solace - I Think America Has Finally Had Enough Of This Madness

eom

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Response to cantbeserious (Reply #5)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:22 PM

10. +1 n.t.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:18 PM

6. No words except we're all thinking of you in Newtown area! God Bless!

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:20 PM

7. it's going to take a long time to heal

I wish I could take some of the pain away....

Love from NC

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:21 PM

8. (((((HUGS)))))) nt

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:21 PM

9. National Shooting Sports Foundation, Newtown Gun Lobby. Nuff' said.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #9)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:34 PM

15. I am finding that there are dozens of Arms Factories in the area and have been forever.

The area of central Connecticut and up through central and west Massachusetts contains a lot of small arms makers. The are sometimes referred to in the gun press as "Gun Valley". Colt Arms (since 1838) and Savage are within 30-40 miles and there are too many more to list within a two hour drive.

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Response to slampoet (Reply #15)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:54 PM

19. Yes, my research shows the same. To understand what we're really dealing with

we have to seriously begin to peel back the onion. These kids were murdered by much more than one gunman or even the NRA. Although they certainly are complicit in this not so little heavily marketed industry. Newtown has some work to do. The idea that it has been a New England style lovely winter greeting card is a farce.

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Response to slampoet (Reply #15)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:56 PM

20. Remington Arms, too.

Yes, gun manufacturing is a major industry in Connecticut. Has been for more than a century, maybe a century and a half.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Reply #20)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:14 PM

25. Yep. They seem to make good use of marketing.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #9)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:02 AM

34. Three miles from Sandy Hook Elementary School!!!

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Response to lunasun (Reply #34)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:11 PM

41. Yup. And they forestalled the limitation of automatic weapons in Newtown.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:26 PM

11. The world we live in.

A tidbit of the ride home from the party.
We were driven home by another couple who are our close friends and were discussing the NRA response to Sandy Hook. How crazy the response was. As we were getting close to our house our friend got a call on their Iphone and it was on speaker in the Ford Expedition. It was their daughter calling from 27 Palms. She and her husband are both semi recents graduates of Annapolis. First Lieutenants in the Marine Corp and have been deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are both really good kids and she was a constant around our home as she grew up. I find myself yelling out UhRah from the back seat to her and saying our hello's. She was coming home for Christmas and we would get to see her.. It felt strange after I yelled it and struck me that our world has become so confused and mixed up. I don't know what to say. This is life smack in the face.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:30 PM

12. I know at a christmas party, I wouldn't have been the one to bring it up. I suppose it's

wrong to forget, even for just a few hours considering what Christmas is like this year for hundreds of people that were close to the victims. I'd guess it was on the mind of everyone there anyway. Too bad it had to ruin your friends evening.

It kind of reminds me of a friend who was dying of cancer. I ran into him one day. It was obvious he wasn't going to be around long. He was down to under a hundred pounds, for a guy that was normally around 250. I didn't even ask how he was doing. How many times does he need to tell everyone he's dying , or lie to them and say things are hopeful? We just bullshitted about football, like we would have done under any other circumstances. I figured that was better than him hearing any sympathy crap from me. He'd know that would go without saying.

Maybe it would have been good to ask everyone to stay off the subject in the invitations? Let everyone know there would be a moment of silence and a chance for everyone to say a few words at the end of the evening?

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Response to brewens (Reply #12)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:15 AM

38. Maybe it was impossible to not make reference to it

It's too huge. I'm sure the energy level at that party was low.

You did right by your friend, though.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:33 PM

13. Do your friend a favor

When she is ready it...a shoulder to cry and a listening ear.

That is the best...and expect the rivers to open if she trusts you enough to open up.

Hugs

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Response to nadinbrzezinski (Reply #13)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:46 PM

16. She's tough. She's not that tough and to see her break down is difficult.

A she said, an upside today is that the media left and now the town can try to get back to normal and grieve on their own.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Reply #16)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:05 PM

21. Yeah, the media circus can be more than a pain

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:33 PM

14. (((((((Bonhomme Richard)))))))





& Rec !!!

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:51 PM

17. K&R

 

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 10:52 PM

18. Excellent! What's your band's name?

A VERY worthy cause. My husband came over to me a few hours ago and mentioned how it was gonna be a very sad Christmas, and he was crying again. We've both cried many times since it happened. Hard to get it out of your mind, and every time I see my son, I hug him. He still lives at home. I hug him a lot.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:08 PM

22. OK. I've had enough for one day. The mother of young Noah Pozner was just on the Tv news.

She was speaking about the need to stop the gun sales. A woman I play music with was telling me last week about Noah who she taught in pre-school for 3 years and what kind of child he was. She said "I taught at least 4 of the children, but this one crushed me." He was unique.
I have had enough.
Good night and give someone you love a hug.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Reply #22)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:55 PM

32. Sending you hugs Bonhomme Richard...



Peace be with you.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:10 PM

23. {{{*}}}

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:12 PM

24. Just came back from family Chirstmas Party in New Milford, CT

I have two sister-in-laws that live in Connecticut, one in Newtown, the other just up the road. We went to visit one of them in New Milford, Connecticut tonight for a family party. My one sister-in-law lives in Newtown and just moved to the other side of town from Sandy Hook. My nieces are 5 and 9 would have been at Sandy Hook School had they not moved one month ago to the other side of town, I am not sure either one of my nieces know what's going on, but both are not quite the same, after losing friends and have been affected for sure. Our 13 year old triplet daughters spent all evening with their two little cousins...My two other nephews in New Milford were both under lock down in their New Milford schools for 3 hours after the Sandy Hook shooting. My sister-in-law is a hairdresser in Danbury and cannot stop crying at the drop of a hat, like she did several times tonight...almost every one of her customers has been coming in to see her to get hair done and "get therapy"...her last customer last night was the wife of the first Newtown Police Officer to arrive at the sandy hook School on that fateful day and was very emotional, saying she did not even want to go home...

Our dinner conversation basically boiled down to; "These children did not die in vain...Something must be done about the current state of guns and gun culture in this country".

For many of us in the NY/NJ/CT tri-state area, the Sandy Hook Massacre has affected one us on a personal level and is seriously weighing on us and our children, one way or another and we are all committed as caring parents and Americans to make sure things change...it has become personal...

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Response to nradisic (Reply #24)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:17 PM

27. The community is suffering from PTSD. Soon to be followed by rage.

Once people have drawn a breath, the arms industry in Conn. needs a wake up call. Very sorry for your concerns.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:15 PM

26. hugs nt

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:20 PM

29. i can only imagine

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:39 PM

30. Tears and hugs.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sat Dec 22, 2012, 11:47 PM

31. Yeah, I had to work on a child once who was shot

He didn't make it and I've never forgotten him. It was almost 20 years ago. Luckily, for some reason, this incident didn't trigger me but I can damn sure see how it would trigger her. People rarely think of the collateral damage and really, we don't want you to - the kids died. Their families are the ones we should be thinking about now.

I do hope the hospital she works at is planning a debriefing, grief work support group. It really is needed, not only in the school but in the hospital and the community with these horrors happen.

And I hope people are finally ready for some gun control. This has to stop.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:00 AM

33. Talk with her

Please and not just once. Give her someone to hear her out in a safe and nonjudgmental way, to help her subconscious catalog what she has been through. To let her know she is human and to remind her she did the best she could do at that moment. To delay that is the path to worsening PTSD. I still have rescue calls that I rode on that haunt me and I was debriefed several times over them.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:03 AM

35. Thank you, Richard.. for your story and

for the Benefit for Sandy Hook

There's a resident of Newtown on this Vid who says (parphrasing) "you do what you can .. everyone does a little and it adds up to a whole lot."

http://www.wlfi.com/dpps/lifestyles/must_see_video/comfort-pies-brought-to-newtown-nd12-jos_5178351


As Newtown, Connecticut marks the end of the first week since the horrific shooting of Friday, December 14, the cliché of “new normal” is already making the rounds in conversations about “where do we go from here?” But the pain is still so raw; the families who lost loved ones are conducting funerals and struggling with crushing loss and the need to somehow carry on. The town is besieged by media of every kind and the sorrow and shock that pervades the town has become overwhelming. It’s likely to be that way for a while.

So what do you do if you’re a person who wants to help; who wants to offer comfort and just a little bit of warmth and human connection? If you’re Beth Howard, you pack up your pie truck with 240 apple pies and drive from Eldon, Iowa to Newtown, Connecticut to bring just a little comfort to a grieving town.



"More about the Pie Lady here."


http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/12/22/pie-lady-drives-across-country-to-bring-comfort-to-newtown-w

H/T Duer sheshe.. http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2057511

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:14 AM

36. grief

Grief seems to be two steps forward, one step back. It sounds like your friend was experiencing a step back.

I was unaware of the gun mfr'g in that area, even though I once lived there.

And what the pie lady did is so cool. Yes, it does all add up to a big "something."



Cher

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 12:51 AM

37. I'm so sorry! Words seem so insufficient in times like these...

That entire area--our entire nation for that matter--has had its heart shredded with this. The mere act of saying how sorry I am is just not enough, but it is all I have for now.

I also have a burning anger for the culture that has allowed this to happen, and that is about all that can sustain in a time like this. SOMETHING has got to change if we want this kind of thing to end, and I am convinced that these most recent deaths will help to force that collective change. We cannot forget, we cannot be silent. We can't have any more of this senseless death.

May your community find solace in whatever way you can. Blessings of peace on you all and on the rest of us as well.





Laura

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 07:30 AM

39. (((HUGS))) I'm so sorry eom

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 07:55 AM

40. I cannot even imagine

Just seeing the news and photos of those sweet kids is horrific enough. Thoughts to you and everyone from NC-

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:34 PM

42. I'm heading up there this afternoon for a Christmas party. Steeling myself.

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Response to Squinch (Reply #42)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:22 PM

44. I think you will find that it is the elephant in the room until..

someone can't stand it any longer and brings it up.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Reply #44)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 09:12 AM

46. Exactly what happened. And they seemed to need to talk about it.

I just let them for as long as they wanted. There is a lot of shell shock, too, and there are people who just don't know what to say or think. My heart hurts for them.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:37 PM

43. The whole situation is desperately sad, and it reaches out so far.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:26 PM

45. Thanks everyone for the heartfelt replies.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday filled with joy and hope for a different future than the one we have been on the road toward.
Fear cannot win.

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Response to Bonhomme Richard (Original post)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 02:19 PM

47. For those local to Newtown there will be a benefit at....

McGuires Ale House this Friday.

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