"President Kennedy Assassinated By Sword-Wielding Loner"

[WilliamPitt]

"President Kennedy Assassinated By Sword-Wielding Loner"

"Martin Luther King Jr. Laid Low By Meat Cleaver"

"Senator Robert Kennedy Murdered By Axe In California"

...said no headline ever.

[villager]

1. "mass casualties in piano wire garroting at workplace"

n/t

[99th_Monkey]

2. "20 dead, 43 wounded by crazed killer swinging ball-peen hammer" nt

[MrMickeysMom]

3. I get it...

... but not without letting you get away with the LONE sword wielder comment. That was no lone sword, buddy.

Yeah, I get it.

[spanone]

4. '...as mr oswald swung down from his perch in the texas depository, he nipped sen. connally,

seriously wounding him, while he deftly delivered a fatal blow to the President'.

[Progressive dog]

5. If the secret service had been better armed, Kennedy

would be alive today. Or maybe if Jackie had been armed, or every one of the spectators.
There must be some scenario that shows how arming everyone would protect us all-or not.

[madinmaryland]

6. "Julius Caesar assassinated by knife wielding conspirators".

Well, at least it is true, though 2,000 years ago.



Et tu Brutus??

[Nevernose]

13. If there had been at least one person

Carrying a knife, Caesar might have lived. Oh, wait...

[Neoma]

22. Ahhh, I think only history lovers can appreciate that one.

Knew a guy that didn't know who Gandhi was.

[trackfan]

7. Here you go...

I only remember this because there is a picture of it in one of those "photos of the century" type collections.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inejiro_Asanuma

[Cooley Hurd]

11. There's ONE modern killing by sword...

[LanternWaste]

8. The second swordsman is a myth...

The second swordsman is a myth perpetrated by the guillotine companies to... eh, I got nothin'.

[Initech]

9. "Ping pong table collapses, kills 25"

Per today's latest stupidity.

[yardwork]

16. Don't forget the flat screen TVs. I hear that they kill more people than anything.

Per the same source.

[Initech]

17. Garden hoses kill people, should we be regulating garden hoses?

[BainsBane]

10. You forgot assassination by car

So much more serious than guns.

[Cooley Hurd]

12. Cars do not move at the speed of sound...

Nice try, though...

[BainsBane]

14. Do meat cleavers?

Hmmm. I need to upgrade my kitchen equipment.

[Cooley Hurd]

15. That's the point. No other public weapon chucks its payload at the speed of sound...

Oy vey...

[riderinthestorm]

18. Klebold and Harris enter Columbine high school with knife cutters and...

are disarmed in the cafeteria by student-athletes, pinned to the ground by teachers, and are ultimately brought to justice.

[needledriver]

19. Aircraft hijacked by box cutter wielding fanatics

Over 3000 die.

[Bucky]

21. If the government outlaws boxcutters only outlaws will have airplanes

[Bucky]

20. Those electrons could've been used to make a point.

My guess is that you're drinking right about now. Hope you and that little lady of yours have a great Christmas.