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Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:02 PM

My mother-in-law might ruin our apartment move.

We showed the new apartment to my mother-in-law last night. She couldn't find anything major to complain about just that it was dirty!

That was all she had to say was how dirty it was.


Today she informs us that she called code enforcement to complain about the dirty apartment claiming that landlord had no right to have shown us the apartment being so dirty.


My wife is completely humiliated and started crying. I want to deck the woman in the face -- I won't-- but I am so angry!

This woman won't be happy until she has us living in the apartment beside her in not in the same apartment as her.

30 replies, 2026 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 30 replies Author Time Post
Reply My mother-in-law might ruin our apartment move. (Original post)
diabeticman Dec 2012 OP
AverageJoe90 Dec 2012 #1
slackmaster Dec 2012 #2
janlyn Dec 2012 #3
Politicalboi Dec 2012 #4
1StrongBlackMan Dec 2012 #8
msongs Dec 2012 #5
Mariana Dec 2012 #11
diabeticman Dec 2012 #13
1StrongBlackMan Dec 2012 #6
silverweb Dec 2012 #10
Habibi Dec 2012 #14
1StrongBlackMan Dec 2012 #16
Habibi Dec 2012 #28
1StrongBlackMan Dec 2012 #29
elleng Dec 2012 #7
Mariana Dec 2012 #9
Lars39 Dec 2012 #12
elfin Dec 2012 #15
cbrer Dec 2012 #17
MrMickeysMom Dec 2012 #19
cbrer Dec 2012 #22
MrMickeysMom Dec 2012 #30
Marrah_G Dec 2012 #18
Panasonic Dec 2012 #20
nenagh Dec 2012 #21
Mariana Dec 2012 #23
nenagh Dec 2012 #27
MrSlayer Dec 2012 #24
dembotoz Dec 2012 #25
Sedona Dec 2012 #26

Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:03 PM

1. TBH, I might not have been so polite......n/t

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:04 PM

2. There's an inexpensive solution to that problem

 

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Response to slackmaster (Reply #2)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:06 PM

3. ah duct tape, the wonder tool!! n/t

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:07 PM

4. A hard 17 and your

Mother in law are things you should never hit. LOL!

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Response to Politicalboi (Reply #4)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:10 PM

8. Cute n/t

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:07 PM

5. you + wife get your own place, the MIL gets her own place. end of problem nt

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Response to msongs (Reply #5)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:14 PM

11. No, it's not.

MIL is going behind their backs trying to sabotage their plans. She can do that even if they're living in separate places. She may be MORE likely to do it if they're living in separate places.

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Response to msongs (Reply #5)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:17 PM

13. We already do live in seperate places.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:07 PM

6. I'm so sorry ...

Time to move across country ... in the dead of night. Call her when you get there.

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Response to 1StrongBlackMan (Reply #6)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:11 PM

10. +1000



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Response to 1StrongBlackMan (Reply #6)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:31 PM

14. No, no, don't call her!

She'll have your number traced and be on your doorstep within hours.

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Response to Habibi (Reply #14)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:39 PM

16. You're not married, huh?

Imagine how you would react if you and your spouse left ... and your spouse would allow you to call your mother.

I see a much more miserable life than having her know where we are.

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Response to 1StrongBlackMan (Reply #16)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 09:20 PM

28. Fair enough.

Let's just say that there are some folks who happen to be both psycho and MILs (and FILs, and siblings, and kids, and exes), and, just trust me on this, if you want to get away from them, you don't want them to know where you are.

Glad you have great, non-psycho in-laws.

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Response to Habibi (Reply #28)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 09:27 PM

29. True Dat. n/t

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:09 PM

7. Do your best to reassure your wife,

and point out that it is your life after all. And if lucky, code enforcement will inform m-i-l that there is NO PROBLEM.

Best of luck.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:11 PM

9. It's time to cut her out of your lives, at least for awhile.

When she's actively trying to sabotage your plans, it's time. I hope your wife understands that.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:17 PM

12. She *said* she called codes...she probably didn't.

I think she'd be excluded from any other details of anything for a long time.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:34 PM

15. Find another and don't tell her

Sounds like a controlling b}#%, and also fearful of not being in close enough quarters to impact your marriage and feel secure that you are close enough to take care of her if needed.

Not good. Family!! Hard to negotiate all the pitfalls of said relationships.

Empathizing here- had mom in law problems as well. They subsided healthily once we moved farther away, with random visits to assuage concerns on her part. Also paid a neighbor of hers to check in and run occasional errands. Not a lot of $, but so worth it.

I emphasize RANDOM, in that a promise of regularity brings much friction if not abided to. Said relative will park by their door, awaiting the promised time and will place endless calls asking where you are.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:43 PM

17. Some insensitive types would say to GROW SOME BALLS nt

 

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Response to cbrer (Reply #17)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:46 PM

19. That was MIL, which means...

SHE would have to grow a "set".

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Response to MrMickeysMom (Reply #19)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:56 PM

22. Not that I would say such a thing...

 

But an insensitive type would point out that it wasn't meant biologically.

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Response to cbrer (Reply #22)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 09:50 PM

30. Well... you know what a wise woman once said...

"Balls", said the Queen... "If I had TWO, I'd be King!"

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:45 PM

18. Word of advice, next time do not show her

She sounds like a control freak.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:47 PM

20. Tell your MIL mind her own business and she is *NOT* welcome to your apartment.

 

You and your SO should meet in a neutral place for lunch, dinner, and whatnot.

Oh, and if that woman wants to hire a maid service to thoroughly clean the apartment before moving in, tell her you'll accept the service, but she has to pay for it.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 06:53 PM

21. My daughter and I looked at condominiums in Toronto and I shall never forget it..

Everyplace we looked at, the condos were very clean and spruced up..

Then we got to a place..some walls were orange, there was a drum set in the diningroom and a broken down couch in the living room. I'm sure the place hadn't been really cleaned in years... though there were no actual dirty dishes in the sink...

The toilet seat was hanging by a thread.. The baseboards..who knew? The floors, cupboards..yikes...

I fell in love with the place immediately and my daughter lived there, after some clean up..very happily.

I always think that the advantage of a place that is less than pristine..is that the price is often better...

A lovely MotherInLaw, would don rubber gloves and bring all the cleaning gear to help in the transformation...

Dry the tears..... It is such an easy fix.... Good luck...





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Response to nenagh (Reply #21)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 08:18 PM

23. What's not so easy to fix

is the MIL trying to kill the deal by calling the city on the landlord. Even if the landlord is not in violation and the rental goes on as planned, the relationship between the landlord and the OP may be affected.

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Response to Mariana (Reply #23)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 09:02 PM

27. True... The MIL ..a truely difficult person...

who feels entitled to be destructive...

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 08:22 PM

24. Why did you invite her at all?

 

Sounds like she's a completely unpleasant person. I don't see why you would bother with her for any reason.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 08:27 PM

25. do be careful sounds like hell for you wife

take care and support her

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 08:37 PM

26. I'm so sorry to say...

I don't give your marriage much chance to last long with a MIL like that.

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