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HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 10:43 AM Dec 2012

How many of you have witnessed a gun murder when you were a child?

I was 6 when I did. The same age as most of these poor children. Although it was not a mass murder of other little children, I have a understanding of what seeing a gun murder feels like for a child.

As many of you know, I consider my husband a "gun nut" collecting guns, watching shows about guns, watching all their crazy survivalist shows, etc., etc. Although he knows about my experience as a child, he still keeps INSISTING that I get a gun, go to target practice, or carry MACE around. He, and it seems most of America too, just doesn't get it.

Just a few weeks ago, he went to a gun show and bought me, and both of our adult daughters, a MACE gun. It is PINK and actually looks like a gun, not one of those tube cans. I said I didn't want it, and when I told our daughters, they didn't want it either. He got very, very MAD. Please stop it. You cannot FORCE "self-protection", whether guns or sprays, on people who don't want it. No, means NO.

He is ALWAYS trying to get somebody to go shooting with him and he can't find anybody, whether in the family, coworkers, or anybody else. Odd since this is in Florida. Recently, his sister and brother-in-law were visiting and he invited them to go. His sister said fine, but his brother-in-law refused saying he doesn't want to be anywhere near a gun.

We found out that he too as a child of 12 had witnessed a gun murder eating in a restaurant. His Dad threw him under the table and got on top of him. Very similar to what Mom did for me on that bus. My husband immediately saw the connection between both of us, and said maybe this has played a part in how we both feel. Neither of us received any kind of counseling as children, and we have had to live with those images into adulthood. Neither of us saw the solution as MORE GUNS or arming OURSELVES. I still believe this. I also cannot understand how other people, including my husband, want to push arming other people. This is the stupid NRA objective.

"An armed society is a polite society", as the NRA, and "gun nuts". No, it isn't. It is a very paranoid and dangerous society.

I was up all night crying the night of the murders. All I could see was those poor dead kids, and the bloody, dead bus driver in 1954. I am sure my brother-in-law probably relived seeing the man in the restaurant also.

END it people.

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How many of you have witnessed a gun murder when you were a child? (Original Post) HockeyMom Dec 2012 OP
I've relived the loss of my brother and how it turned my world upside down. lunatica Dec 2012 #1
I did as well AndyA Dec 2012 #2
Jesus! Cooley Hurd Dec 2012 #5
I am so sorry etherealtruth Dec 2012 #6
at age 12 I was staying all night at a friend's house rurallib Dec 2012 #3
Good for you HockeyMom salinen Dec 2012 #4
One of the more troubled kids I taught had witnessed 3 murders by the time he was 7 or 8. proud2BlibKansan Dec 2012 #7
My ex husband was a hunter,mostly bow hunting,but he sufrommich Dec 2012 #8
It's the gun worshiping culture in Florida HockeyMom Dec 2012 #9
Not a murder MountainLaurel Dec 2012 #10

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
1. I've relived the loss of my brother and how it turned my world upside down.
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 10:51 AM
Dec 2012

The cause of his death was an accident more than 40 years ago, but the grief is fresh all over again. My heart aches for the people in Newtown.

AndyA

(16,993 posts)
2. I did as well
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 10:58 AM
Dec 2012

I was 17. My Mother was murdered in our home while my 13 year old brother and I were upstairs in our bedrooms sleeping.

My Mother was terrified of guns. I don't know why, but she was. Perhaps something happened in her past to make her feel that way, but I don't know of anything. She was shot in the face at close range in our living room by a man we thought was a family friend. He had a drinking problem and an anger management problem, but he was a good Christian man. He also had a license to have a gun, and knew the local Sheriff on a first name basis.

My life changed forever on that night.

My Mother had rights, and so did I. Our rights were not protected. She had a right to live her life.

I get to relive the events of that night every time I hear about violence that involves guns. More guns is not the answer. The right to life must be supreme over the right to bear arms. Something is very, very wrong in our country today. The gun culture has to be addressed. ALL of us have rights, and some of us have had our rights infringed upon by others for too long.

Now I'm forced to tolerate confronting strangers with guns strapped to their belts in public places. I'm supposed to just trust that that person is responsible, and won't suddenly pull out his gun and start shooting. That does happen, obviously, so my fear isn't unfounded. I have the right to go out to eat without being terrorized, yet that's the effect it has on me.

I'll pretty sure most family members and friends of victims feel the same way, so there's a growing number of people in this country who will demand that changes happen regarding guns in this country.

I hope it happens before too many others are added to the long and growing list of victims of gun violence.

etherealtruth

(22,165 posts)
6. I am so sorry
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 11:13 AM
Dec 2012

I have been quiet too long (I have always supported strict guns laws .... and would love to see a "gunless" society) .... but, I did not speak out .... I was polite .... I thought I needed to respect disparate voices for the political good.

NO MORE

I will carry your horrific experience with me ... and use it (and others) to remind me I MUST STAND UP or else I need to accept part of the blame for what this society has become.

I am so sorry for the horror and pain you have endured.

rurallib

(62,406 posts)
3. at age 12 I was staying all night at a friend's house
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 11:02 AM
Dec 2012

His dad owned a bar. After he closed up he went to the back door of his friend's all night burger place.
He walked in in the middle of a robbery and was shot and killed.
While we didn't witness the murder itself, a few minutes later we were at the hospital where we saw doctors trying to save his lifeless body.
Pretty traumatic. 50 years ago and I can still remember it clearly. Especially the 'pop-pop-pop' of the bullets.

 

salinen

(7,288 posts)
4. Good for you HockeyMom
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 11:08 AM
Dec 2012

if I had to kill someone for any reason, I might as well have shot myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself as a murderer.

proud2BlibKansan

(96,793 posts)
7. One of the more troubled kids I taught had witnessed 3 murders by the time he was 7 or 8.
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 11:16 AM
Dec 2012

His dad was a gang banger who was eventually murdered himself. This kid was messed up. He loved talking about the gruesome details of the murders he had witnessed - and described them in great detail to anyone who asked.

His mom was desperate to get him some help. I'm not sure how he turned out. He'd be about 35 now.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
8. My ex husband was a hunter,mostly bow hunting,but he
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 11:21 AM
Dec 2012

would go out at least once during rifle season,he was a democrat but some of his friends were off the wall.At least 2 of them I'm sure were involved with the Michigan Militia,deeply racist and conspiracy minded "Turner Diary" types. I couldn't stand being around them and could not rectify in my head that he could have friends like that. I felt creepy just being in the same room with them and it was a big problem which played a part in ending out marriage.I don't know the ups and downs of your marriage,but I couldn't stand being around gun nuts ,let alone married to one.

 

HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
9. It's the gun worshiping culture in Florida
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 12:06 PM
Dec 2012

We are from NY and there are far more restrictions there. Here it seems guns are as prevalent as the palm trees. It's the CULTURE,

MountainLaurel

(10,271 posts)
10. Not a murder
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 12:49 PM
Dec 2012

But when I was almost 9, my little brother accidentally shot himself. He had just turned 7, and he and his best friend had decided that they were going to rob a bank, with the sense of reality that kids that age have. My dad kept his guns on a shelf in the hall closet. We were told never to touch them. One night when my mom and I were in another room, my brother took one down and tried to load it, holding it against his knee. The gun, a police revolver my father's friend had loaned him for some reason, was already loaded.

It's been 30 years, but I still have nightmares about the fountain of blood I saw when we opened the living room door. The only reason he lived was that my mom drove him to the hospital instead of waiting the 20 minutes for an ambulance. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks and had 6 months of physical therapy. The pain still bothers him when it's cold or damp. And even the sight of a gun makes me nauseous.

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