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Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:13 PM

I have a 21 year old son.

It is really easy to vilify Adam Lanza. My first instinct when I heard that he had been shot and killed today was 'GOOD!!'.

But the more I think about it, the more I think how awful it must have been to be him. This kid, who was less than a year younger than my son, shot his mother in the face, then went to an elementary school and killed a bunch of children before turning the gun on himself. People have stepped forward to say he was mentally unstable. I think, at this point, that is a given.

There is enough tragedy here to go around. Enough horror for every victim to have their share. Including Adam Lanza. Somewhere, somehow, WE let this kid down. I can't really say this anywhere else, even at home. My family is so outraged, they are still at the point of feeling vengeful. I doubt any of my Facebook friends would understand what I am trying to say. I figured you guys might understand.

Even if I am not entirely sure I do.

15 replies, 1376 views

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Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply I have a 21 year old son. (Original post)
renie408 Dec 2012 OP
gateley Dec 2012 #1
Arctic Dave Dec 2012 #2
Surya Gayatri Dec 2012 #3
JohnnyLib2 Dec 2012 #4
rustydog Dec 2012 #5
KarenS Dec 2012 #6
calimary Dec 2012 #8
Freedomofspeech Dec 2012 #10
calimary Dec 2012 #12
terip64 Dec 2012 #7
easttexaslefty Dec 2012 #9
pacalo Dec 2012 #11
Left coast liberal Dec 2012 #13
nadinbrzezinski Dec 2012 #14
jsr Dec 2012 #15

Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:16 PM

1. Here --

And I'd recommend reading the entire story at the link, too.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021982642

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:20 PM

2. And the NRA legitimized his mass murder.

 

They let society down.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:33 PM

3. I understand, renie...I'm very uncomfortable with all of this

"evil incarnate" and "diabolically twisted" talk.

It's obvious, even from the little biographical data that's come out so far, that young Lanza was deeply troubled and maladjusted.

I'll dare to say it--he also was a victim, and at some point in his young life, he was grievously failed by those around him.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:43 PM

4. Glad to find that I'm not alone with these thoughts.


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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:53 PM

5. This is a profoundly sad say

The parents of the 18 dead children have to get past this Christmas and every day for the rest of their llives without their dear loved ones. the children and spouses of the dead teachers and the Father and brother of the shooter have to learn to live with enormous loss too.

No one is untouched, unaffected by this.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 10:53 PM

6. Thank you for posting what has been on my mind,,,,

I have been profoundly sad all day about everyone that has been touched by this and is suffering from this,
including the obviously mentally ill young man.

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Response to KarenS (Reply #6)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 11:14 PM

8. I have a 20-year-old son, myself.

This young gunman was deeply damaged, of course. But I've got to wonder, as a mother myself, WHAT ON EARTH was his mother doing with guns in that house - when she lived with a 20-year-old son who was mentally unstable? Did she not think, even for a moment, that it wouldn't be good to have guns within reach of her boy? I guess we'll never know, since she was a victim. And her loss is tragic. But honestly - WHAT ON EARTH was she thinking?????????

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Response to calimary (Reply #8)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 11:40 PM

10. I have been wondering the same thing.

Why all of those guns with such an unstable child in the home?

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Response to Freedomofspeech (Reply #10)

Sat Dec 15, 2012, 12:17 AM

12. No kidding. I mean - don't we baby-proof our homes when a new baby is due?

Don't we pack all the crystal away, plug the electric sockets, pad the sharp corners of coffee tables and counter tops, take away all the things on which they might choke or strangle, put a gate up for awhile to keep the baby from somehow crawling away? I mean - you don't leave chemical cleansers and scouring powder and bug killer and rat poison under the sink, within easy reach of a toddler who knows how to open cabinets under the sink, do you? And you don't leave a straight-edge razor on the table where the baby can reach, or uses to hoist him/herself up to standing position - the way our daughter did when she was still crawling and trying desperately to stand up.

WHY???? WHY would one feel a need to keep a bunch of guns around - when there's a 20-year-old, mentally unstable individual who's able to drive and otherwise get around freely by himself? Obviously this 20-year-old was not confined or otherwise prevented from leaving the house. WHY???????? What on Earth was she thinking???????

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 11:06 PM

7. Thank you for this. I, too, have a twenty one year old son. What a nightmare.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 11:21 PM

9. I totally understand and agree.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Fri Dec 14, 2012, 11:58 PM

11. I can only guess what the dynamics were between him & his mother.

If he wasn't mentally stable enough to attend a school or to work, he was probably consumed with thoughts of failure. At age 20 with no prospects, his natural desire for independence -- out of reach for him -- probably caused resentment toward any parenting by his mother.

Stricter gun control laws aren't the only answer to these mass shootings. Providing adequate mental health care & facilities is also desperately needed.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Sat Dec 15, 2012, 01:50 PM

13. I agree with you.

Parents have very little options when their children turn 18 and have mental issues.

This has got to change!

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Sat Dec 15, 2012, 01:52 PM

14. Like you I have empathy for him

What he did was monstrous, but he is no monster. I refuse to lose my humanity by going there.

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Response to renie408 (Original post)

Sat Dec 15, 2012, 01:58 PM

15. Adam Lanza wasn't old enough to buy beer

Some people don't seem to realize that.

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