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Tue Dec 11, 2012, 11:44 PM

Why is it that people love to kick you whe you are down?

As others know I'm in a situation where I need to move in like 17 days. My wife and I are going to need some monitary help with the move so I ask my Dad and Step mom for help because let's face it yes we have held some rent back BUT with first and last month and security deposits + transfering utilities and getting help moving furniture and what not it is going to be a pinch.

Normally my Dad is kind enough to give us a gift of money for Christmas. I made the mistake of saying we could maybe use that gift to deal with this situation.


THIS seems to give my step mom permission to text me several messages about how THIS mess is because I am in a "dead end job" and how I should get a job a local hospital to become an aide where I can save money so I'm not in this position again.

I am a night auditor at a hotel. I make about $10 an hour after working ten years at the hotel. I work 40 hours a week AND until this surge in gas prices and a situation where my wife was out of a job for a few months this year my wife and I would probably have a small saving.

This woman also has no problem calling me to take advantage of my employee discount when she wants a hotel.

My wife's mother is in a bad situation because she's retired and sometimes needs our help to get by each month. Not only that she can also be overbearing and would insists we get rid of our cats and move into her apartment complex AND I don't want this woman living that close to my wife and me because she will be prying into our lives every chance she gets.

My wife and I will muttle through but I now know my dad and step mom are two people I will not be having very much contact with in the future.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Tue Dec 11, 2012, 11:49 PM

1. I'm really sorry. She sounds like an authoritarian personality who cannot resist giving her

unwanted and unhelpful opinion when she finds an opening. Sadly there are far too many of these personality types in the world. They contribute nothing of value to society and you are probably wise to distance yourself from her.

I am so sorry for your situation. If there is a way to help, let us know.

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Response to sabrina 1 (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 11, 2012, 11:51 PM

2. Thanks for letting me vent.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Tue Dec 11, 2012, 11:54 PM

3. you sure learn a lot about people when you need a hand.

My own sister told me to sell a kidney when I was talking to her about someone in the family who needed some help -- devastated by legal bills in ugly divorce.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 12:01 AM

4. I'm sorry all of this is happening to you.

The only thing I can tell you is to remember to carve out a little time for yourself now and then, treat yourself well. It sounds as if this woman was just waiting for an excuse to pounce. There's just not much you can do about her, being the way she is. Focus on what you can control and try to let go of what you can't. FWIW, She sounds like my mother-in-law. That woman is never happy about anything unless and until she's taken a bucket of pills.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 05:15 AM

5. Sounds exactly like my mother and brother.

They are both a couple of bullies that wait to pounce as soon as the chips are down.

There were times in my life when I needed help and both of them acted like I should be ashamed for having a tough time. But if for some reason things don't go their way it's a conspiracy and everyone is against them. Neither has any empathy for anyone else.

Best thing I ever did was distance myself from them.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 05:24 AM

6. because they can. it's about power. people generally are ruder and crueler to those they perceive

 

as having less power than them or no power to retaliate.

i've been up and i've been down & i have sure noticed the difference in the way the same people will treat you depending on relative position. i also noticed the difference in the way i treated people, which was every bit as educational.

keep your head up & best of luck to you. don't let the pinheads get you down. you are working and fulfilling your responsibilities and have nothing to be ashamed of. the party that should be held up to shame is the employer you've worked 10 years for.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 05:40 AM

7. Some things never change

Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own



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Response to Fumesucker (Reply #7)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 07:45 AM

8. My's wife's favorite song she calls the woman who sings it Lady Day. But I'm more into modern

jazz.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 08:00 AM

9. I've always wondered why we say things to our family that we would NEVER say to non-relatives.

I think maybe it's because people feel that family will never go away so you can just let it all hang out, whereas with friends, it's easier for those people to drop out of our lives. We can scare away friends, but not family, is maybe what I'm trying to say.

But yeah, I have been there and it's just horrible and really has bothered me at certain times in my life. Not all families are the warm, supportive types, I suppose. I've sort of had to accept that. I have had to cut certain relatives out of my life or at least limit contact severely. At some point, you have to look out for yourself and your own wellbeing.

I'm sorry things are rough for you and your wife right now. I hope things settle down. Everything is a cycle, although sometimes it's really hard to believe things will get better when you're in the middle of it.

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Response to diabeticman (Original post)

Wed Dec 12, 2012, 09:07 AM

10. Next time she wants to take advantage of your employee discount, throw her ugly behavior back in her

face.

I've got some idiot in-laws like that.


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