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Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:27 PM

 

If you had to guess, what percentage of men are rapists?

My Momma taught me better and she never once used the word "rape." I feel I am in the vast majority of men in that most people have a respect for others.

I have been lurking this last week and reading many of the threads on rape and the degeneracy of the male and have been astounded by the vision that many have as the male in toto as degenerate, sex starved violent sadists. Frankly, it hurts my feelings to be thought of this way.

In my life I have met only two women that have been raped. One of them was one of my sisters, the other was a brief encounter. I have never met or known a man that admitted it. From comments like "rapes are more common than smokers" I would think that I have lived a sheltered life (which I haven't) or someone is cooking the books.

Is it that a small percentage of men rape over and over again or that a large majority of men are rapists?

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Reply If you had to guess, what percentage of men are rapists? (Original post)
Whovian Dec 2012 OP
Brickbat Dec 2012 #1
leftstreet Dec 2012 #2
Whovian Dec 2012 #4
GeorgeGist Dec 2012 #3
MadrasT Dec 2012 #5
salin Dec 2012 #6
gollygee Dec 2012 #7
salin Dec 2012 #9
cherokeeprogressive Dec 2012 #8
Cerridwen Dec 2012 #10
MineralMan Dec 2012 #11
Odin2005 Dec 2012 #12

Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:30 PM

1. A large number of men are so busy describing themselves as not-rapists, and describing most men as

not-rapists, that those of us who are trying to fight rape get a little tired of holding your hand and reassuring you that yes, the big mean feminists aren't mad at you, it's OK, we'll still sleep with you and love you and no way are you anything like the Raper McRapists. The point is then lost.

You're not a rapist. Great! Now what?

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:30 PM

2. You have only met 2 women who would tell you about it n/t

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Response to leftstreet (Reply #2)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:34 PM

4. I realize that.

 

It's a terribly traumatic and horrific thing. I was speaking of women that I have either gotten close or intimate with as well as those in support groups where most folks tend to tell of traumatic events in their lives that have affected them deeply.

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:31 PM

3. If you've been lurking ...




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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:46 PM

5. You just don't know about the others.

I have been raped (more than once) and only one other person knows about it. (Besides the men who raped me.)

It's not the kind of thing that comes up in conversation.

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:54 PM

6. two responses:

to your question... I think it is a small percentage, but that those who feel/believe/act empowered to do so, do so repetitively.

Second, I would venture to guess that you know many more rape survivors. Out of the context of these conversations, most of us don't talk about it very much nor to many people. However the stats suggest that somewhere around 1 in 3 women between their teen years and 30s is likely to be raped.

I have never heard a person (prior to a recent thread here) cop to having committed rape. But I know one at least. Because he raped me.

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:00 PM

7. There have been lots of studies

I posted a link to this in another thread. There's a table on page 2 that shows results from anumber of studies:

http://www2.binghamton.edu/counseling/documents/RAPE_FACT_SHEET1.pdf

It's a minority of men but most rapists have a number of victims, so it creates a proportionately high amont of fear.

I think the great majority of men would never rape. I think a small minority are sociopaths and obviously would. But i think there is also a minority who can convince themselves that some kinds of acquaintance rape aren't really rape.

When we talk about "rape culture" we're talking about the kinds of things that give that minority that impression (that some kinds of acquaintance rape aren't really rape) - and that includes jokes about rape, sexist talk, etc. And the rape culture also makes women afraid to speak out about it or bring charges, which allows that minority of men who rape to do it over and over and over again and have a large number of victims without ever being stopped. Rape culture isn't something only men are a part of - women do these things too. The jokes and sexist talk, but also minimizing and trivializing rape, outright saying that some kinds of rape aren't "rape rape" or "legitimate rape," asking when we hear someone was raped what she was wearing and why she was out so late, etc. And it isn't meant to be an attack against men, or women for that matter as we do it as well, as much as to raise our level of awareness of the issue so we notice it. It's all around us and most people don't notice it, but the fact that it's all around us and we don't notice it is what makes it so effective. I know I didn't notice it for a long time, but I'm glad I do now. The more aware of it we are, the more we notice it, and the less it exists.

The studies have various numbers but most seem to be under 10%. I've heard from 4% to 8% sometimes. I think it's hard to know exactly. I would think that number would include both the sociopaths and those who can be convinced that some acquaintance rape isn't really rape. The huge rape apologist thread was started by someone like that, and the republican talk during the election about "forcible rape" and "legitimate rape" alludes to that as well.

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Response to gollygee (Reply #7)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:17 PM

9. That fact sheet was helpful to read.

Especially the section on the undetected perpetrators. I think it would be useful in all of the discussions per the concept of "rape culture". It isn't that most men rape. However, I think that at a societal level there is a lot of language, joking, and dismissive attitudes towards such critiques of the like that it gives cover and affirmation to those undetected perpetrators.

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:06 PM

8. <5%

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:19 PM

10. What percentage of rapists are male? Female?

Of the 100% of rapists, how many are boys or men? Of the 100% of rapists, how many are girls or women?

Of the 100% of girls and women who have suffered rape, what percentage were raped by boys or men?

Of the 100% of girls and women who have suffered rape, what percentage were raped by girls or women?

Of the 100% of boys and men who have suffered rape, what percentage were raped by boys or men?

Of the 100% of boys and men who have suffered rape, what percentage were raped by girls or women?





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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:24 PM

11. The percentage isn't even that important, really.

The deal is that rape happens and that a lot of women have been raped during their lives. So, here's the deal: Given that, it's only natural that women are concerned about their safety in many situations, from walking down a street at night to going on a date with someone they don't know all that well. The risk is there, and it's a real risk.

I know, and you know, for an absolute certainty that we'd never rape anyone, by any definition of that term. But only a finite and small number of women know that about us. That group of women doesn't worry about us at all. However, every other woman on the planet does not know that we would not. And it's not knowing that is the source of fearfulness about rape.

If I'm walking down a sidewalk at night, and a woman is also walking on that sidewalk, there is absolutely no way that she could know who I am or what my character is like. Similarly, if a woman meets a man casually and accepts an invitation from that man to do something together, she does not have enough information about that man to know how he will behave. She will be more cautious because of that, because some men do coerce sex on dates.

So, it's not that anyone thinks that all men are rapists. That's patently not true and everyone knows that. It is that it is impossible to know which men are potential rapists just by looking at them. That means that women must be somewhat fearful of their interactions with men. It may be that the next 400 men they encounter will be just fine and not bother them at all. It also may be that the very next person could be in that 4-8% who won't be just fine and who might just sexually assault them.

Who can blame women for being fearful? Women are raped. Most women know women who have been raped. Many women have been raped or an attempt to coerce sex from them has happened in the past. I'd be fearful, too. As social creatures, we encounter many, many people in our lives. Just one rape or sexual assault is a terrible thing to happen, and out of all those thousands of people we encounter, we may well encounter someone who is dangerous. Caution and some fearfulness is warranted, frankly.

Women don't think you're a rapist or I'm a rapist. Bottom line is that they simply don't know if they don't know us. Caution is worth taking.

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Response to Whovian (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 01:56 PM

12. 10%

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