Thu Nov 29, 2012, 08:30 AM
Ichingcarpenter (30,138 posts)
Climate Agrees To Stop Changing Until US Economy Recovers
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, President Obama reached an unprecedented agreement with the earth’s climate to halt global warming until the US economy reaches 4% annual growth.
The news was cheered throughout the world, as economists shook hands with rapidly receding shorelines worldwide.
“We are delighted to hear that the climate has finally listened to reason,” said White House press secretary Jay Carney. “Now we can focus on what’s really important: raising upper class tax rates from 35% to 39%.”
The agreement, which halts everything from extreme weather events to vanishing island nations, is the first such accord between a sitting president and atmospheric temperature levels.
Not all in Washington cheered the accord - House Republicans bashed the treaty in a press conference.
“We don’t believe in negotiating with phenomena we don’t believe exists,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “However, even if it did exist, there’s no way we’d support regulating it. What if it’s a job creator?”
Climate scientists throughout the world had a far more positive reaction to the news.
“Finally, we can stop telling people that if they didn’t change, their grandchildren would live on a cinder,” remarked John Greggs of the National Weather Service.
“Now, thankfully, those cinder dwelling grandkids will have jobs.”
“We get it,” said the arctic ice shelf, as it repaired millions of cracks that were previously releasing deadly methane gas. “Nobody could have predicted the financial crisis. People need a break. We’ll knock it off until unemployment is back at Clinton-era levels.”
4 replies, 481 views
Climate Agrees To Stop Changing Until US Economy Recovers (Original post)
Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)
Thu Nov 29, 2012, 08:35 AM
AgingAmerican (3,058 posts)
1. Pay no attention to that freight train
bearing down on us. The longer Obama ignores this issue, the more likely that ignorance becomes his legacy.
Response to AgingAmerican (Reply #1)
Thu Nov 29, 2012, 08:42 AM
Ichingcarpenter (30,138 posts)
2. Sea level rose 60 percent faster than UN projections, study finds
Projections for sea level rise in coming decades could be too conservative, experts warned Wednesday, saying they found that the rise over the last two decades is much more than predicted by the U.N. scientific body tracking climate signals.
In a peer-reviewed study, the experts said satellite data show sea levels rose by 3.2 millimeters (0.1 inch) a year from 1993 to 2011 — 60 percent faster than the 2 mm annual rise projected by the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change for that period.
"This suggests that IPCC sea-level projections for the future may also be biased low," the team wrote in the journal Environmental Research Letters.
Response to AgingAmerican (Reply #3)
Thu Nov 29, 2012, 09:15 AM
Nay (6,747 posts)
4. Ain't that the truth. The human race simply doesn't get it, and the smart people who DO get
it have no power to push through any reasonable responses to the problem. So problems will mount up until the human race 'deals' with it by dying en masse.