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Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:13 PM

I'ts not just insane. It's batshit crazy insane.

Like a noxious weed blooming in the garden, it comes around very year.

This frantic pursuit of holiday perfection infecting us culturally, and individually.

You see it in the faces of drivers, and in the way traffic flows. You feel it in the air. It pummels you in the stores.

It is not enough, in our culture, to have a nice family gathering - it has to be, in a word - Perfect.™

The food must be Perfect.™
The house must be Perfect.™
The children must be Perfect.™
The atmosphere must be Perfect.™
Behavior must be Perfect.™
And so on...

But it is astonishingly insane, for the Perfect™ almost certainly cannot be obtained in a universe of quantum fluctuations and uncertainties and all the random bullshit it produces...

I'm not judging anyone - it happens in my house, too - every year. Stress - it's what's for dinner...! Comes with a side of cranberry sauce, you know - yum!

Oh, well. Just thought I'd mention it, and wish everyone a safe and happy Turkey Day!

9 replies, 1155 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
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Arrow 9 replies Author Time Post
Reply I'ts not just insane. It's batshit crazy insane. (Original post)
JFN1 Nov 2012 OP
elleng Nov 2012 #1
applegrove Nov 2012 #2
pinboy3niner Nov 2012 #8
PCIntern Nov 2012 #3
JFN1 Nov 2012 #5
PCIntern Nov 2012 #7
DollarBillHines Nov 2012 #4
Coyotl Nov 2012 #6
Earth_First Nov 2012 #9

Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:18 PM

1. Thanks. The 'perfect' never got to me,

but did to some family members, unfortunately. We're no longer together, and I bought a non-perfect 1/4 honey-baked ham yesterday to share w daughter+ on FRIDAY, for our 'unperfect' and enjoyable Day After Thanksgiving get-together. I'm sure their 3 dogs, 1 cat, and ? fish will enjoy the gathering.


And tomorrow, I'll be enjoying the perfectly wonderful final 20 or so entries in my perfectly great radio station's top 90 selections as voted on by llisteners. They play one or two countdown pieces an hour Monday-Wednesday from 6am - 9pm. On Thanksgiving Day, they'll play the remaining pieces wall to wall with the #1 selection beginning at 8pm.

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Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:23 PM

2. Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar

Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar

http://www.humormatters.com/holidays/Christmas/xmasstewart.htm

"SNIP......................................

December 1

Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn
upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.

December 2

Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for
answering machine.

December 3

Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion
cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener.

December 4

Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.

......................................SNIP"

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Response to applegrove (Reply #2)

Thu Nov 22, 2012, 10:27 AM

8. That's hilarious!

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Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:28 PM

3. Just curious...

How do you get the little 'TM" to show like that?

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Response to PCIntern (Reply #3)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:47 PM

5. Hypertext for it is

& trade ;

But it is used without spaces between the characters - if I put it without spaces here, you'd only get the symbol.

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Response to JFN1 (Reply #5)

Thu Nov 22, 2012, 10:23 AM

7. Thanks! Much appreciated... Nt

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Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:41 PM

4. "Perfect" flies out the window during my second Manhattan

Then I start thinking, "Why in hell did I spend $20/lb on duck breasts?".

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Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 05:55 PM

6. We worry more about FULL. F#*k perfect.

Of course, taste matters too

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Response to JFN1 (Original post)

Thu Nov 22, 2012, 10:27 AM

9. We have a table for those who fail to attain perfection at the grown ups table...

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