HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Blue states to secede....
Introducing Discussionist: A new forum by the creators of DU

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 09:31 PM

Blue states to secede....

Just got this in an email...btw, I live in a Red State...


Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've
decided we're leaving. We in New York intend to form our own country and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that
includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will
be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country
of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A.)

To sum up briefly:
- You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states
- We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
- We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
- We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
- We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
- We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
- We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs
- You get Alabama.
- We get 2/3 of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
- Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's,
We get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of
- 80% of the country's fresh water,
- more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce,
- 92% of the nation's fresh fruit,
- 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
- 90% of all cheese,
- 90 percent of the high tech industry,
- most of the US low sulfur coal,
- all living redwoods, sequoias and condors,
- all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with
- 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs,
- 92% of all US mosquitoes,
- nearly 100% of the tornadoes,
- 90% of the hurricanes,
- 99% of all Southern Baptists,
- virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.



We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

- 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,
- 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws,
- 44% say that evolution is only a theory,
- 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
- 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizen of the Enlightened States of America

6 replies, 1277 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 6 replies Author Time Post
Reply Blue states to secede.... (Original post)
StarryNite Nov 2012 OP
Laura PourMeADrink Nov 2012 #1
dsc Nov 2012 #2
Art_from_Ark Nov 2012 #3
cordelia Nov 2012 #4
Blue_In_AK Nov 2012 #6
bluedigger Nov 2012 #5

Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 09:43 PM

1. are those stats real? would love to quote, if real

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 09:50 PM

2. No one believes Jonah was swallowed by a whale

it was a big fish.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:27 PM

3. Not this shit again

There are good things and bad things about every state. There are good people and despicable people in every state. So-called "blue states" have given us some of the least "enlightened" politicians in recent years, including Reagan, the bu$hes, Bachmann, Ryan, Sensenbrenner, Boehner, Issa, ad nauseum. And 3 of the last 4 Democratic presidents have come from "red" states.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:29 PM

4. Yes, this shit again. What is it now - the 118th time this crap has been posted?

It's not funny.

It's not intelligent.

It IS divisive.

And, it BEGS for the return of UNREC.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:33 PM

6. Indeed.

I think this is about the fourth or fifth time I've seen it since the election, not to mention the dozens of times before.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:30 PM

5. That's pretty bad.

Just for starts, Harvard and Yale are in the Ivy League...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread