My Ten Favorite Kinds of Right-Wing Temper Tantrums (Jezebel)

[REP]

My Ten Favorite Kinds of Right-Wing Temper Tantrums

Lindy West
I remember how I felt when George W. Bush was reelected in 2004—that pit of absolute unthinkable, desparate despair—and so I guess I should have a little more sympathy for the 150 Million Waaahmbulances of the Apocalypse currently flailing all over Twitter. And, beyond that, I should probably be sad about the overt racism of our conservative youngsters and frightened at the gun-nuttiness of our gun nuts.

However. At least for right now, I AM NOT. I am just 99% completely fucking delighted by every single weepy right-wing temper tantrum. I can't stop hate-reading. I can't stop. And you know what? I don't need to stop. It's not like this was some arbitrary election for Homecoming Court—where we were choosing between Mitt Romney's totally on-trend bangs and Barack Obama's ability to pull off a structured blazer. The party that my team defeated on Tuesday was a nebulous, fiscally disastrous pitchfork mob—united by racism, xenophobia, self-interest, willful ignorance, hatred of the poor, and a puritanical desire to deny my gay friends their civil rights and me, PERSONALLY, equal access to health care and basic humanity. That's about as ungracious as it gets. So fuck being gracious.


1. I Am Seceding from Society and Living in a Bunker!!!
Man. This guy:

Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who voted for Obama, or I even suspect may have Democrat leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other libertarians to do the same. Are you married to someone who voted for Obama, have a girlfriend who voted 'O'. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who are Democrats.

Do you work for someone who voted for Obama? Quit your job. Co-workers who voted for Obama. Simply don't talk to them in the workplace, unless your boss instructs you too for work-related only purposes. Have clients who voted Democrat? Call them up this morning and tell them to take their business elsewhere.

PLEASE NO. PLEASE DON'T PUNISH LIBERAL AMERICA BY HIDING IN A HOLE AND NEVER TALKING. PLEEEEEEEEEASE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY



2. I Am Moving to a Capitalist Paradise Such as England, Canada, or Australia!!!
Free Republic sent the actual queen a letter via owl post:

Your Majesty,

We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.

We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of "Fairness". We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).

Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.

Your most humble servants,

The American People

Yes. Enjoy your socialized medicine, human genius.

See the original here, complete with hilarious gifs

[Moonwalk]

1. Regarding those hoping to move to Canada or the UK or Aussie land...

...I hope they enjoy paying higher taxes, big bucks for gas, and a whole lot less tolerance for private ownership of assault rifles. Oh, and gay marriage. Idiots!

I don't see why they don't just ask King Romney and Queen Ann to let them live on some private Cayman Island....

[REP]

5. All those countries are far more socialist than the US can dream of

[teach1st]

2. This is great

Do you have a link?

[REP]

4. Fixed!

I had to insert HTML coding for a character.

[Indpndnt]

6. I'm not the OP, but here you go:

http://jezebel.com/5958966/my-ten-favorite-kinds-of-right+wing-temper-tantrums

I highlighted the thread title and did a Google search. It was the first result.

[REP]

9. The 'link' function acts funny with special characters; I had to replace + with &#43

It was there ... Just not visible.

[Indpndnt]

14. No worries. I didn't even need a link.

Just found it for the other poster. Easy to find. Don't know why they asked.

[REP]

18. And now it's disappeared again! Thanks for posting it!

I'm really not as incompetent as it seems!

[Cayenne]

3. Some of these tantrums are not so cute.

A few rich assholes made good on their threat and fired people. Many others may do little things to sabotage the economy.

[Ikonoklast]

10. They deliberately sabotaged the ability of their own businesses to compete? They deserve to fail.

I'd quit before the owner made another disastrous decision, throwing the rest of the employees out of work when the doors closed.

I don't believe any real employer did any such thing anyway.

It's all keyboard kommando bullshit.

[Caretha]

12. You are absolutely right

These "employers" are no more going to fire people and risk raising their unemployment insurance, it would cost them mucho money. If they were overstaffed in the first place, they were on a down hill slope already and they deserve to go banckrupt.

[LadyHawkAZ]

11. Who and where?

The only one I've heard of that actually fired people post-election was the Romney campaign. Last I heard there was only the one highly suspicious anonymous report from Nevada- has someone actually stepped up?

[Cayenne]

15. That's the one

At first I took it at face value but am not so sure if it's for real. Lawyers are keen to find him though.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/08/david-las-vegas-ceo-fired-workers_n_2093369.html

[LadyHawkAZ]

16. Until I hear from the supposedly fired workers

I'm assuming it was one of the Freeper types phoning in from Mom's basement.

[Ilsa]

7. Self-deleted. nt

[Whovian]

8. KnR. Read this earlier today and loved it. Great stuff and true to the point. nt

[NC_Nurse]

13. That was effin' AWESOME!

So glad I'm not the only one who isn't feeling gracious