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Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:33 PM

Somebody please talk me down from the ledge

Here I am so happy, thrilled with the results of the election. Walking around with a big smile on my face. Most of my family (MY VERY OWN FAMILY) are freaking out like they are sure Obama is going to do something awful to them. Talking about Obama like he is as evil as Bush.

A lady who works for me told me today she thinks Obama stole the election. Really? You don't think it was the rape policies or the lies or the flip-flopping craziness of Rmoney that lost him the election? Did you think he would win because he is white rich and good looking?

Years ago my boss was republican and I remember being afraid to speak out for fear of losing my job. Now the shoe is on the other foot. I want to fire this chick.

If she brings it up again I'll tell her to keep her more insane opinions about the election to herself.

I know these people, I love some of them, and they are batshit crazy. Last week I threatened an old colleague with an intervention if he didn't stop.

This thought keeps rattling around in my head and I can't push it out for long -- IS MY OWN FAMILY RACIST?

It's crazy making. I need to join a support group. Or maybe I need to see a professional.

53 replies, 2840 views

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Arrow 53 replies Author Time Post
Reply Somebody please talk me down from the ledge (Original post)
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 OP
imanamerican63 Nov 2012 #1
Mme. Defarge Nov 2012 #6
MatthewStLouis Nov 2012 #40
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #43
RebelOne Nov 2012 #49
CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2012 #2
freshwest Nov 2012 #3
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #16
Honeycombe8 Nov 2012 #35
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #37
Honeycombe8 Nov 2012 #51
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #52
Rain Mcloud Nov 2012 #4
codjh9 Nov 2012 #5
NYC_SKP Nov 2012 #7
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #21
NYC_SKP Nov 2012 #25
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #30
silverweb Nov 2012 #8
coalition_unwilling Nov 2012 #9
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #22
Awknid Nov 2012 #10
Shankapotomus Nov 2012 #11
kestrel91316 Nov 2012 #12
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #24
Montauk6 Nov 2012 #53
busterbrown Nov 2012 #13
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #32
Buddaman Nov 2012 #14
Generic Brad Nov 2012 #15
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #26
former-republican Nov 2012 #17
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #27
former-republican Nov 2012 #31
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #33
former-republican Nov 2012 #34
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #36
Panasonic Nov 2012 #18
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #28
gkhouston Nov 2012 #19
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #29
TBF Nov 2012 #20
Matariki Nov 2012 #39
Zorra Nov 2012 #23
Matariki Nov 2012 #38
TBF Nov 2012 #41
MineralMan Nov 2012 #42
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #44
MineralMan Nov 2012 #45
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #48
reformist2 Nov 2012 #46
mstinamotorcity2 Nov 2012 #47
coeur_de_lion Nov 2012 #50

Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:36 PM

1. Just keep smiling!!!!!

I am in the same situation! We know the truth!

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Response to imanamerican63 (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:40 PM

6. Yes,

winning is the best revenge. Noblesse oblige.

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Response to Mme. Defarge (Reply #6)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:38 PM

40. So true.

I think how my brother in law told me Obama wouldn't win re-election because of high gas prices, with a wink and an elbow he said, "Remember Jimmy Carter?"

At the time I was mad,

but now I quietly savor that moment....



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Response to MatthewStLouis (Reply #40)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:10 PM

43. Me too! They were all posting pictures of moving vans beside the White House

It sucks to be them right now.

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Response to MatthewStLouis (Reply #40)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 04:19 PM

49. My brother-in-law is an Obama hater.

Fortunately, my sister voted for Obama without his knowledge. He was totally shocked when Obama won and she told him that she had voted for Obama. I called her yesterday morning to gloat to him over Obama's win, but she answered and would not let me talk to him because she said he was totally pissed off.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:37 PM

2. You're OK...

I think your family needs to see a professional!

They might very well be racist. Don't let it become your problem. You are who you are. Just because they're family doesn't mean that you're just like them...

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:38 PM

3. Racism is fear. Whether they are all typical racists or not, they are irrationally fearful.

The first step is to show them it's going to be alright. My BNL has to talk to my Beckshitcrazy sis like a small child. Most of them don't really understand government or politics or the means of poiitical persuasion. They've been conned. When they finally learn it, it will be humiliating and life changing.

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Response to freshwest (Reply #3)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:56 PM

16. I tried reasoning,extending an olive branch, soothing, and got a sarcastic response

Then I got pissed and smacked my nephew's wife like an errant child. I mean that figuratively of course.

GAH!

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Response to freshwest (Reply #3)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:46 PM

35. I don't think it's fear. I think it really is hatred of "them." Or dislike. I'm from the deep south.

It's ingrained in the social fabric. You grow up hearing these things. You're taught these things. So when you see one example of something that seems to fortify a myth, your mind sees that as validating the myth, and it becomes your mature belief. Much the same way that people hold similar religious views as the ones they're raised with. Example: You hear growing up how women are bad drivers. So whenever you DO see a woman driver doing something screwy, that myth is validated. People will tell you that statistics show that is not true. But that's rationality. You have SEEN personally that women drivers are bad drivers (in your mind).

Sometimes it doesn't take, though. It didn't seem to take hold with me, for some reason. Not that there's a halo over my head. But I can proudly state that I was always different in this regard from my siblings and most other white kids. It's not fear, though. It really is a dislike of a group you regard as inferior or taking things from us they don't deserve.

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Response to Honeycombe8 (Reply #35)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:25 PM

37. I'm glad it didn't take hold with you

I'm a military brat and have lived all over the country, mostly the northeast and southeast. I think I was sheltered by my parents from a lot of the racism and religious fanaticism. I'm lucky.

What is the old saying? When you believe something you continue to find evidence that it is true.

When you hear something often enough you start to believe it no matter how absured it is.

My oldest sister left home long before I did and maybe she was exposed to different things that skewed her reality. She moved to the eastern part of VA whereas I moved to NYC when I was old enough. She's staunchly republican and loses her mind if anyone disagrees with her now. She deleted me from her facebook a few weeks ago for disagreeing with an anti-Obama post. She did the same thing in 2010. Then when I was supportive over an illness in her family she forgot she was mad and forgot we ever disagreed.

I hope in a few weeks this all blows over. Maybe when the world doesn't end they will all calm down.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #37)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 10:18 PM

51. Your family sounds like mine, coeur. I haven't spoken to my rightwingnut family members in a few wks

There was no argument, but I wanted to avoid intense political discussions. They are racist and hateful Republicans, but they are great to me. I love them. So I don't understand how they can be that way to others. So I avoid them in extreme political situations.

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Response to Honeycombe8 (Reply #51)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 11:20 PM

52. I can't wait until this all dies down

And we can go back to arguing about less important stuff.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:38 PM

4. While at home tonight

 

Dig out that old record player and The Allman Brothers' Idle While South Album.
Its good for what ails you.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:39 PM

5. Hey, not to discount your being upset by these people, but we all have 'em. I've worked in heavily

Republican places, maybe 1/2 of my surviving family are nuts, and even the nearest Starbucks has nutcases I've overheard, seen the bumper stickers, and (yes) actually have seen a whole table full of people holding hands in praying. No, I'm not staying here permanently. :^)

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:40 PM

7. manage your expectations, and know your limitations.

If you have cause to replace your nutty employee for causes other than her POV, go with that.

If you're in a state where they are protected, get over it and think about your bottom line, if they are productive and doing their job well.

And for family, manage your expectations.

If they are racist it's not your fault, and you will be happier if you don't expect too strongly that they'll change.

Any children they may have, however, are a different matter.

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #7)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:09 PM

21. I liked this lady (even knowing her politics)

until today. I won't fire her but I will ask her to keep her opinions to herself.

The owners of the company I work for are strong democrats. This lady begged me not to tell them she is a republican.

They would never dream of firing her and I think she knows that. She's ashamed in a way I think.

So, I think it is okay for me to tell her to keep her craziness to herself.

Right?

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #21)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:13 PM

25. I think it's OK.

I think I could guise it in a "I don't want to lose you, but..." kind of way.

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #25)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:22 PM

30. LOL

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:41 PM

8. Yes.

Your own family could be racist. I'm dealing with the same kind of thing. Facts and data mean absolutely nothing to them. Their hatred is deep and irrational, and the only explanations that make any sense are race and class hatred.

I am continually grateful that I moved far away from most of my family years ago and my kids didn't grow up with that influence. DU is my support group, along with my grown, sane, liberal kids.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:42 PM

9. To steal an idea from the philosopher Kant, if it was wrong for your employer

 

to fire you for your beliefs, it is equally wrong for you to fire your employee for her (admittedly crazy) beliefs.

Does she get that 71% of Latinos voted for Obama? And that 68% of single women voted for Obama? Does she understand demographics and voting blocs?

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Response to coalition_unwilling (Reply #9)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:11 PM

22. Oh I wouldn't fire her

I have never really fired people even when they deserved it.

Does she get the statistics? Yes she does and she even thinks that the rape comments were awful. She's just irrational.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:42 PM

10. I feel your pain

I too have this problem. I'm originally from the deep south and all of my family, high school classmates, and people I truly care about are right wing nuts! It's the saddest thing in the world to experience. However, if I had to physically live with them, I don't think I could.

I feel for you!

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:44 PM

11. just know you are not alone

many of us are in the same boat family-wise. some of them could be unstable so it is best not to provoke them. hang in there. you have du.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:46 PM

12. "Obama stole it" = more RW projection - because as we all know full well

THEY work overtime to steal elections. I guess they just assume everyone does it??

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Response to kestrel91316 (Reply #12)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:12 PM

24. that's gotta be it.

They think everyone is like the republicans.

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Response to kestrel91316 (Reply #12)

Fri Nov 9, 2012, 12:46 PM

53. Methinks this will be the Big RW Meme for the next 4

I'm sure it'll even replace the birther scam.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:52 PM

13. I really think the number one issue for these people is the "browning of America" and the fact

that democrats under Obama are giving tons of money away to these non deserving lazy unemployed
people. I think its important to give them the facts about welfare, food stamps,etc and how in reality
how little assistance it is. And how small the federal entitlement program is in relation to the overall
budget. What a horrible way to live ones life!

Then I explain how easily our lives can change on a dime. An Accident, loss of a job, Medical
Bill could drive me into poverty quickly. That I want a govt. to back me up if I need help.

Yes, I think that every registered republican in the U.S. have a real problem with the
minorities who share this country with us.

One at a time, is what I say!

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Response to busterbrown (Reply #13)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:35 PM

32. yeah this part hurts the most

The way they label all democrats as welfare cheats. Some of my SO's friends were on unemployment back at the worst of the economic downturn a few years ago. Thought nothing of it. It is as you say very little, and certainly not enough to live on. But these same people will label anyone on welfare, unemployment, or even medicaid as lazy and unwilling to work.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:53 PM

14. Election? What election?

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:56 PM

15. Do your best to be a gracious winner

Your actions determine how they view us and getting openly pissed at them does nothing to eventually win their hearts and minds. And if you are convinced that will never happen, then just remember the intelligent have an obligation to look out for those lacking in intelligence.

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Response to Generic Brad (Reply #15)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:14 PM

26. I like that

"the intelligent have an obligation to look out for those lacking in intelligence."

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 09:59 PM

17. Why would you think your family is racists because they didn't

 

agree with Obama's policies?

Believe it or not there are republicans and independents that just believed the country was heading in the wrong direction with the economy.

And race had nothing to do with it.

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Response to former-republican (Reply #17)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:16 PM

27. no I think they are racist because they are irrational

saying stuff like Obama is going to make them lose their jobs, Obama hates America, he's Muslim, stole the election, CRAZY stuff.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #27)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:26 PM

31. I hate to say this about your family and I hope it's not a site violation

 



but your family doesn't sound very bright .

It might not be racism .

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Response to former-republican (Reply #31)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:39 PM

33. LOL sad but true

I wish I could make them understand how stupid their comments make them look. Do you think they would stop then?

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #33)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:45 PM

34. Just give them time , remember the old saying

 

You can pick your friends but not your family.



They are still your family and they would be the ones standing by your side in a life tragedy.




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Response to former-republican (Reply #34)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:55 PM

36. not so sure anymore about that

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:01 PM

18. I'm afraid it's time to terminate her employment as soon as you find a replacement.

 

Do give her her 2 week's severance and tell her because of her beliefs in Obama, she cannot sufficiently and efficiently work for you.

Tell her good luck, and tell her to search through her soul and realize that she's stupid. You should not employ stupid people. She apparently is one.

Find a suitable replacement before doing that though.

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Response to Panasonic (Reply #18)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:16 PM

28. LOL

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:04 PM

19. For the past two years,

Obama's been President, the Senate has been Democratic, and the House has been Republican.

For the next two years, Obama will be President, the Senate will be Democratic, and the House will be Republican.

Exactly how is Obama going to end the world? What evil thing do they imagine he'll do in the future that he hasn't done/tried to do during his first term?

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Response to gkhouston (Reply #19)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:21 PM

29. I know!!!

Nothing bad happened to them in the last 4 years. Why would it happen now?

They are so far from logical.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:06 PM

20. I think you need to chill,

give folks a couple days to process this,

and stop referring to your female employees as "chicks".

K?

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Response to TBF (Reply #20)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:28 PM

39. +1

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:12 PM

23. You pissed off a bunch of conservatives. That's a good thing.

Run with it. Revel in it.

Don't argue with them. They don't think logically. You can't do anything for them.

Don't let them suck your good energy. You are only going to hurt yourself to no avail if you do.

Enjoy the day, it's all we have.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:27 PM

38. Just get really really over the top and threaten her with FEMA camps....

with a big grin on your face of course.

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Response to Matariki (Reply #38)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:59 PM

41. that works too! lol - nt

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:06 PM

42. The advantage of being on the winning side is that you can just smile

when people whine. Just smile and move on.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #42)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:11 PM

44. I'm smiling big

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #44)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:16 PM

45. I'll be heading for California for Christmas.

A lot of my family are Republicans, and voted for Romney. I won't have to say a word. They all know where I stand politically. Since family rules prohibit political or religious discussions at family gatherings (Thanks, Dad!), I'll just smile.

My sister's husband is a real winger. They visited here late this summer, and he asked us, "So are you two some kind of Socialists?" He's the hardest hit by Obama's win. I'll smile extra wide for him.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #45)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 03:55 PM

48. Oh I dread any holiday get-togethers with my immediate fam this year

2-3 years ago my republican brother argued with my democratic father vehemently and they have not spoken since. My father is not long for this world and he won't see his only son before he dies.

Thank God I was not there when that happened and I can still speak to both of them. But I won't bring that on myself -- not yet.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:19 PM

46. Promise them you'll watch Fox some of the time, if they promise to watch something else!


The main problem when otherwise good people go crazy is that they've fallen into the trap of only listening to one source of news.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 02:22 PM

47. just keep saying

I want to go back to Kansas, I want to go back to Kansas. Then click your heels three times and say I wonder why all the people in the GOP look the same. Is it because they all believe the same thing and just don't know it. Then say glad I look different from that. They will never understand that they look CRAZY!!!!!!! and Smile to yourself as you walk away.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 06:26 PM

50. Sometimes when I really like everything else about a Republican but their stupid politics

I want to believe that someone brainwashed them. Or that they were raised that way and they can't help it. Or that they are only kidding and they must really be Democrats at heart. Then I will hope that they change their minds and decide that Obama is not really the antichrist. But it doesn't ever happen.

When this lady who works for me admitted that she was a Republican I was shocked. She seems so nice! I said "who has been telling you these things?" And she said she could think for herself. Really?

Then when she made that crazy remark about Obama stealing the election I said "But honey it was a landslide!" And she said no it was not. Really?

Dear God how can this happen to people? I want to know who is responsible. I want their name and their telephone number and I'm going to call them and give them a piece of my mind.

So now I realize that although I am quite fond of this lady little things that I used to gloss over are now really bugging me. I used to go around fixing her mistakes and gently reminding her to remember to do such and such. But today I spent 3 hours fixing stuff that she should have fixed and I'm thinking okay maybe it's true and she really is stupid.

I would never fire her. But I am tempted to be a little more honest in her performance review than I had planned.

But that would be wrong, so wrong, so . . . . . I do nothing.

It's crazy-making.

God help me.

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