I've been where you are. I was laid off in June 2011, a victim of the dying newspaper industry and a CEO who needed to get rid of workers to justify his $37 million buyout. Like you, I'd never been without a job my entire adult life. It broke my heart and damn near broke my spirit. I felt utterly lost. I was ashamed when I saw people headed off to work in the morning. But it was not my fault. I felt worse when I heard people say things like, "The unemployed are lazy," or "Just get a job at McDonald's," when that job didn't even exist. But it was not my fault. And it is not your fault, either.
The six months between the day I was laid off and the day I went back to work were some of the hardest days of my life. But I got through it. And I believe in your strength and your ability to get through it, too.
I don't want this to be advice, but I just thought I'd share some things I learned through that hard time.
1. Job No. 1 is taking care of yourself. I've heard a lot of people say that when you're unemployed, your job is finding a job. I don't think that's right. Your first job, your top priority, has got to be taking care of yourself. Why? Because you won't be effective at finding work if you are down on yourself and don't believe in yourself. So think of what restores you - is it time with family? Time spent in nature? Being creative? Being spiritual? Whatever it is, do it. When you catch yourself saying discouraging things to yourself, challenge yourself to stop it. Be good to you. It's more important now than it ever was.
2. Perfect being unemployed. It sounds counterintuitive, I know. But if you have to be unemployed, do it the best way possible. Right now, you have a gift you didn't have before: Time. You have more time to decide how to use now than you did when you were working. So the question is, what will you do with it? I became heavily involved in volunteering, and that activity led to two job interviews, including one that ended in a job offer. By the end of my six months of being out of work, I think I really got into the swing of being unemployed the right way. I wasn't despairing. I was busy. I was doing good things and helping people in my community. As a plus, it's hard to let someone's hurtful words, like "Get a job," get to you when you know you are contributing to the world around you.
3. When it comes to the job search, celebrate the little things. Did you find some good job leads and send out a resume and cover letter? Celebrate it. Get a job interview? Call up friends and family and rejoice. Each time you do either of those things, you come one step closer to the job lead and the interview that will be the right one for you. Even each job interview that doesn't end in an offer brings you closer to it. So celebrate being one step closer.
4. Anticipate opportunities everywhere. Yes - use all the Internet job boards, a state job bank, Craigslist, whatever else is out there. But don't discount word of mouth. I got the job I have now through a long series of strange events that started with me being interviewed for a news story and ended with someone who read the story recommending me to someone else looking to hire. And that job was never posted on any job board. You never know what chain of events will lead to your big opportunity. Use the job boards, but don't discount word of mouth, or even serendipity.
5. Don't be desperate. I know it's easy to fall into that. When you're in the middle of it, it can feel like unemployment will be forever and it can get hard to imagine a way out. But that probably isn't the case. Your time will come - have faith in that. And that's important, because desperation can lead to some pretty bad things, like being taken advantage of by scam artists with fake job offers, depression and substance abuse. If you feel yourself slipping into desperation or depression, speak up. I bet anything that there's someone near you who cares, and who will want to help. Now is not the time to say no thanks to help. Let them help and love you.
I know you didn't ask for advice, and I really hope this didn't come across as preachy. It's just that I remember so clearly how hard it was for me a year ago, and I hurt for anyone who is going through it now. Your time will come. I believe it.
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