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Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:28 PM

According to my cousin, God picks the winner...


Quote from my cousin...the one who has been sending me anti Obama forwards for the past six months....

"I'll be so glad when this election is all over. Then we will know who God wants in there. Our two little votes will not swing the election."

So I guess we can all just pack it up and call it a day.

63 replies, 3103 views

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Arrow 63 replies Author Time Post
Reply According to my cousin, God picks the winner... (Original post)
StarryNite Oct 2012 OP
johnnie Oct 2012 #1
StarryNite Oct 2012 #7
southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #14
Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel Oct 2012 #50
trof Oct 2012 #44
PDJane Oct 2012 #2
StarryNite Oct 2012 #10
Politicalboi Oct 2012 #3
StarryNite Oct 2012 #13
onecent Oct 2012 #4
redwitch Oct 2012 #22
onecent Oct 2012 #47
Aristus Oct 2012 #62
redwitch Oct 2012 #5
niyad Oct 2012 #6
StarryNite Oct 2012 #18
rbrnmw Oct 2012 #8
LineReply .
Liberal_in_LA Oct 2012 #9
revolution breeze Oct 2012 #11
mzmolly Oct 2012 #12
LiberalFighter Oct 2012 #15
gollygee Oct 2012 #16
Fresh_Start Oct 2012 #17
StarryNite Oct 2012 #21
Fresh_Start Oct 2012 #34
redwitch Oct 2012 #24
Selatius Oct 2012 #19
PD Turk Oct 2012 #20
sheshe2 Oct 2012 #26
DisgustipatedinCA Oct 2012 #23
StarryNite Oct 2012 #28
HooptieWagon Oct 2012 #35
StarryNite Oct 2012 #39
defacto7 Oct 2012 #25
BigDemVoter Oct 2012 #27
Media Lies Oct 2012 #29
StarryNite Oct 2012 #38
Media Lies Oct 2012 #58
mysuzuki2 Oct 2012 #30
johnlucas Oct 2012 #31
StarryNite Oct 2012 #51
Bluenorthwest Oct 2012 #32
HooptieWagon Oct 2012 #33
Bucky Oct 2012 #36
StarryNite Oct 2012 #37
Democratopia Oct 2012 #40
StarryNite Oct 2012 #42
WhaTHellsgoingonhere Oct 2012 #41
StarryNite Oct 2012 #43
porphyrian Oct 2012 #45
WinkyDink Oct 2012 #46
joeybee12 Oct 2012 #48
undeterred Oct 2012 #49
Liberal In Texas Oct 2012 #52
arcane1 Oct 2012 #53
Qanisqineq Oct 2012 #54
GeorgeGist Oct 2012 #55
StarryNite Oct 2012 #56
Ilsa Oct 2012 #57
onethatcares Oct 2012 #59
Skidmore Oct 2012 #60
WinkyDink Oct 2012 #61
AspenRose Oct 2012 #63

Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:29 PM

1. So god picked Obama last time?

So who are they to question god?

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Response to johnnie (Reply #1)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:30 PM

7. Good point!

I'll remind her of that!

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Response to StarryNite (Reply #7)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

14. I was thinking the same thing. Remember when sister Sarah Palin said she was god's

 

chosen. We saw how that worked out.

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Response to johnnie (Reply #1)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:20 PM

44. No, no, no...God was on a break when that happened. here's the story:

Here's what God told me:

"Look, I know I'm supposed to be omnipresent. 'Knows all, sees all' etc.
That's what Gabriel and the rest of the PR group puts out. It makes good copy and seems to soothe the masses, no pun intended. But get real. I mean yes, I'm God, but seriously, I can't be every where ALL the time. That's just impossible. Even for Me.

Once every millenia, or so I have to take a break and recharge the batteries. They're short breaks in my concept of time. Usually a hundred years of less. So I went on break in 1913 in your time.
Yes, a lot of bad things happened. There was a useless war from 1914 to 1918. And a stock market crash in 1929. World-wide depression. I got an alert from my Son and came back on the job long enough to ensure that Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the president of the U.S. until he died. You may be surprised to learn that TOD (Time Of Death) is something I have relatively little control over.

Anyway, I'm back on my interrupted break. No, I have not anointed any specific politicians in any race in your country. Anyone who claims otherwise is Bearing False Witness. That's Commandment Number Nine.

As you may have guessed, I take no interest in your political parties and I won't interfere in your election. I don't bet. Why bet on something when you already know the outcome? But if I did, my money (interesting concept) would be on your current president. He seems to be a good man at heart. But, as I said, I'm back on my interrupted sabbatical so you're on your own.
Best of luck.
(Another concept that really has no meaning for Me.)"





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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:29 PM

2. You've managed not to lose your temper entirely? Very good.

I don't think I would have had that much tact.

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Response to PDJane (Reply #2)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:31 PM

10. It hasn't been easy...

I have written and deleted more messages to her than I can count!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:29 PM

3. It's gonna be a great day for you on Nov 7th

You can tell your cousin, God has chosen.

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Response to Politicalboi (Reply #3)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

13. That I will!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:29 PM

4. Tell him God helps those that help themselves....lol

My mom used to tell me that.

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Response to onecent (Reply #4)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:35 PM

22. "Pray but keep rowing toward shore".



I also love the story of the guy who was warned of imminent flooding and told to evacuate by the authorities. He decides to stay and pray. "God will save me" he says.

The water rises. A man in a rowboat comes by offering to row him to safety. He decides to stay and pray. "No thanks, God will save me".

The water rises and he is now on the roof. A helicopter rescue crew flies over and lowers a ladder, "climb up they shout, we'll save you". No thanks, God will save me".

The man drowns. Gets to the Pearly Gates and demands to see God. "God, I prayed so hard, why did you let me drown?"

God: I sent you the weather report, a guy in a rowboat, a helicopter, what is it with some people?

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Response to redwitch (Reply #22)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:54 PM

47. That's a good story...I like that. n/t

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Response to redwitch (Reply #22)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:30 PM

62. Never more beautifully retold than in the "West Wing" episode 'Take This Sabbath Day'.

Karl Malden was incredible in that.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:30 PM

5. That is funny!

I love the idea of God micromanaging everything from lottery tickets to football games to elections. I bet we give him/her massive migraines.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:30 PM

6. that means that god picked georgie boy? apparently, your cousin's god is an idiot

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Response to niyad (Reply #6)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

18. Don't know about her god...

but my cousin is obviously an idiot!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:30 PM

8. His son is being written in

So I bet that Jesus will win using her logic

No worries I have tons of them in my family too


http://www.votingforjesus.com/

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:30 PM

9. .

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:31 PM

11. Wait a minute......

The Jehovah's Witnesses I talked to today said God does not get involved in Earthly politics?????????

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:31 PM

12. Good. He can stay home on

November 6th.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

15. Tell him that his god picked Obama because he doesn't like him.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

16. God has spoken!

Obama is president!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:32 PM

17. god also picks who gets cancer and heart disease....does that mean no one should

visit a doctor, take medicine, get heart surgery?

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Response to Fresh_Start (Reply #17)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:34 PM

21. Ironically ...

she and her husband are both in very poor health. But she attributes the fact that they aren't dead yet to all the prayers they are getting.

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Response to StarryNite (Reply #21)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:48 PM

34. I know its logic....but....did they pray before they were in poor health?

if so the prayers didn't prevent the poor health so why does she think they'll help now

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Response to Fresh_Start (Reply #17)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:38 PM

24. And apparently which rape victim gets pregnant.

Who prays to such a mean God?

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:33 PM

19. Tell your cousin to stay home. God will vote in your cousin's place if what he says is true. nt

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:34 PM

20. why do the republicans in congress hate god? nt

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Response to PD Turk (Reply #20)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:40 PM

26. Annnnd WHY do they hate women so much!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:36 PM

23. Sometimes god is busy working His will with rape victims

Sorry, but your cousin is a simpleton. He/she is not alone, however. I keep seeing this "god's will" crap being applied wherever it's convenient, especially with regard to Richard Mourdock. Mourdock (and his adherents) claim that if a rape-based pregnancy happens, it's god's will. Their protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, this could be applied to ANY event, good or bad, that has ever transpired in the history of this planet:

-Hitler and Stalin kill millions? God's will.
-Ted Haggard having sex with men while inveighing against gays: God's will.
-Your cousin Jane Doe's crib death? God's will.
-The raise you got last year? God's will.
-The layoff you suffered the year before? God's will.

So I agree with you, StarryNite--what's the point in making any decisions in life, if it's all just part of God's plan? I thought questions of predestination were settled by thinking people a few hundred years ago. Oh right...I used the term "thinking people". My fault.

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Response to DisgustipatedinCA (Reply #23)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:42 PM

28. It's scary to think this is the mentality we are dealing with..

There is a complete lack of logic with people like that. If it's something they agree with, it was God's will. If it's something they disagree with, the devil did it.

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Response to DisgustipatedinCA (Reply #23)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:48 PM

35. Yet people who believe in predestiny/god's will still look both ways before crossing the street...

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Response to HooptieWagon (Reply #35)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:58 PM

39. Not to mention the heavily reinforced

Popemobile.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:40 PM

25. Who's going to pick god?

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:42 PM

27. When our President, Barack Obama, wins. . .

Tell him it's god's will and then tell him to shut his pie hole and just accept it.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:42 PM

29. I didn't know Diebold was a secret name for God...

 

You learn something new every day.

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Response to Media Lies (Reply #29)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:57 PM

38. Diebold code name "GOD"

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Response to StarryNite (Reply #38)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:15 PM

58. there's a golden dog on your post...

 

Let's not let anyone know the secret code for God when you spell it backwards.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:43 PM

30. If I were god I would be really pissed about being blamed for all this shit.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:43 PM

31. Make sure to rub it in his face when Obama wins

Put EXTRA emphasis behind that "God picks the winner" line when you do it.
Say that Obama is God's candidate.
That should warp his brain for a good minute or two.
John Lucas

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Response to johnlucas (Reply #31)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 08:20 PM

51. I did it!

I replied back to my cousin...short and sweet. Here is all I said,

"Well if that's the case, God wanted Obama last time. We'll see what happens this time."

We live on opposite sides of the country so it's not like I will have to sit across the table from her at Thanksgiving....although it would be fun to gloat!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:45 PM

32. Which God? She's a Republi-Mormon now, they have many Gods....

Does she mean the one on Kaloob or the one who uses rape as an instrument of his will on Earth? The GOP has many vicious Gods. She will need to be far more specific.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:46 PM

33. Tell your cousin there's no need for them to vote, then.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:50 PM

36. It's your duty to convince your cousin, then, that actually voting is expressing doubt in God.

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Response to Bucky (Reply #36)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 06:56 PM

37. Good one!

I love it!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:10 PM

40. So God picked Obama last time. Who is she to criticise God's decision?

 

If she believes in God and believes God picks the president, she has no right to criticise God's work. I suggest she is of little faith. Why does she doubt the Lord?

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Response to Democratopia (Reply #40)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:13 PM

42. Exactly!

And she's going to be hearing that from me! I've gotten so many good suggestions from people on here. I tend to reply with long letters to her but so often less is more.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:13 PM

41. God picked Da Bears on Monday Night!

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Response to WhaTHellsgoingonhere (Reply #41)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:15 PM

43. Oh, that's right!

I keep forgetting God has favorite sports teams! That crazy god must be a real armchair athlete!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:33 PM

45. Ask them who God would pick if no one voted? n/t

 

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:34 PM

46. I hope you have your cousin's number on speed-dial! :-)

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:55 PM

48. Did God want Hitler to win his election also? nt

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 07:56 PM

49. God works for Diebold?

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 08:22 PM

52. In that case tell your friend not to vote. And tell him to tell his

(no doubt) repuke family not to vote. Seems like a logical thing to do.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 09:08 PM

53. He should stay home on election day, as a test of his faith in God

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 09:21 PM

54. My sister sent me a video

of a preacher in Minneapolis saying that God told him Romney would win. She thinks this guy has the gift of prophesy because he predicted Obama would win in 2008. He's got a 50-50 chance!

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 10:11 PM

55. Obviously you cousin is an idiot.

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Response to GeorgeGist (Reply #55)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 10:32 PM

56. Yes she is.

And unfortunately there are all too many like her. No instincts, just stinks. And that's the mindset we are up against.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Wed Oct 24, 2012, 10:35 PM

57. Advise your cousin to stay home on 11/6/12 since god is calling it anyway. nt

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:18 PM

59. I guess God picked the Tampa Bay Bucs last nite

I bet He really pisses off the vegas bookies though.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:24 PM

60. Ask her if her god consulted with Romney's three gods and

his god's wife and concurred.

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:26 PM

61. And if Obama wins (when), here is what cousin dear will say: "God is punishing America."

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Response to StarryNite (Original post)

Fri Oct 26, 2012, 05:36 PM

63. Ask your cousin if she's been praying for the President

like the passage in I Timothy chapter two says - believers are supposed to pray for those in government

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for ALL PEOPLE (emphasis mine)—for kings *and all those in authority,* that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."

Also ask her if she's praying for her neighbors and her "enemies" (which probably includes liberals).

If your cousin says no, tell her she's not pleasing God.

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