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Sat Aug 11, 2012, 01:36 AM

BREAKING: Rising GOP Star Commits Political Suicide

from The Desperate Blogger

House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-WI) has sadly taken his own very promising political life by agreeing to accept former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney’s offer to serve as his Vice Presidential running mate in the November general election.

Congressman Ryan was 42.

Ryan, who first recklessly jeopardized his career in 2010 by proposing a budget that would, among other things, turn Medicare into a voucher program as well as cut discretionary domestic spending by 20% without specifying from where any of the cuts would come, was the favorite of many in his party to not only have run for President in this election — but when it became apparent that every serious Republican candidate chose to concede the election to incumbent Barack Obama by leaving the field of prospective candidates open enough for a lightweight like Gov. Romney to secure the nomination — was expected to be one of the GOP front runners for President had he chosen to run in the 2016 election — in spite of his tender age.

Congressman Ryan was eulogized on both sides of the aisle as a shining star who burned brightly, but for far too short a time.

“As low as I’ve ever felt, and as low as I’ve ever been accused of being, I’ve never felt lower than I feel today,” lamented House Speaker John Boehner, “His budget had obviously been a cry for help — and we all missed it. As leader, I must accept responsibility for the tragic loss of such a promising young man, and someone who may very well, had he lived long enough, have carried the mantle in our Party’s crusade to return to the Gilded Age of the late 19th century.”

The Bronze Clod continued, “As Republicans, our concern is not so much with Paul’s family, but rather with the future of the party. The loss of one of the very few credible candidates that we might have been able to put up in 2016 is absolutely devastating, and I for one ask the entire nation to join me in prayer to help preserve our two-party system.”

Many leading Democrats were also effusive in their praise of Rep. Ryan while expressing their mourning of his loss.

“Paul was never afraid to express his views, and unlike others in his party, he made his disdain for the elderly, the poor, and minorities clear in both his policies and in the budget he proposed in his role as chairman of the Budget Committee,” said Rep. Kathy Hochul, who was propelled to victory in her 2011 special election over her Republican opponent by the Ryan budget. “I think I speak for all Democrats when I say that Paul, and what he consistently brought to the table and Congressional deliberations, will be sorely missed, particularly over the next couple of election cycles.”

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Arrow 28 replies Author Time Post
Reply BREAKING: Rising GOP Star Commits Political Suicide (Original post)
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 OP
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #1
truebluegreen Aug 2012 #2
tavalon Aug 2012 #3
ananda Aug 2012 #13
pacalo Aug 2012 #4
Zalatix Aug 2012 #6
Monk06 Aug 2012 #5
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #11
Monk06 Aug 2012 #25
JNelson6563 Aug 2012 #27
tavalon Aug 2012 #22
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #24
tomm2thumbs Aug 2012 #7
aquart Aug 2012 #10
tavalon Aug 2012 #23
Scuba Aug 2012 #8
BumRushDaShow Aug 2012 #12
Scuba Aug 2012 #15
jeff47 Aug 2012 #28
mucifer Aug 2012 #9
uponit7771 Aug 2012 #14
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #16
grantcart Aug 2012 #17
tavalon Aug 2012 #21
grantcart Aug 2012 #18
B Calm Aug 2012 #19
ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #20
sad sally Aug 2012 #26

Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:10 AM

1. Actually, it's not official until 9 AM, but...

... apprently, Ryan opened A Swiss bank account on Friday...

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:24 AM

2. My greatest hope

is that this DOES take Ryan and his Randian fetishism down along with Rmoney. People need to really see what electing these blood-suckers has done and will do to the country.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:27 AM

3. I've never actually laughed so hard, I cried, until today

That is comedy gold.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #3)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 08:38 AM

13. R & R, the Olympic champs for keystone cop politics!

Yup

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:27 AM

4. Following the wake, sandwiches will be provided by an outsourced vendor

now located in China whose CEO is an enthusiastic supporter of Romney's & Ryan's slash-&-dash business ideas.



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Response to pacalo (Reply #4)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:48 AM

6. I will not eat green Chinese ham...

 

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 02:34 AM

5. That Boner quote is satire right? He didn't really say that. Even he can't be that stupid.

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Response to Monk06 (Reply #5)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 08:32 AM

11. Probably... (nt)

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #11)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 05:34 PM

25. At the risk of being pedantic, satire should display it's artifice and not devolve into deception.

Satire loses it's charm and irony when the person reading it feels like they've been duped.

And yes I am being pedantic.

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Response to Monk06 (Reply #25)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 05:39 PM

27. If it has a Republican accepting responsibility

you can be sure it's satire.

Julie

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Response to Monk06 (Reply #5)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 12:06 PM

22. See our friend's handle

I suspect all of his comments are satire. But this is some laugh out loud work here. Kudos to him or her.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #22)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 12:13 PM

24. Many Thanks! (nt)

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 03:56 AM

7. Breitbart Notes POLL: Republicans Preferred Rubio, nearly 2 to 1


I guess Breitbart hasn't been re-programmed by the Far Right yet, leaving polls that embarrass the GOP Prezzy Candidate and VP in waiting prominently on their main page.

And with Ryan trailing at nearly 1/2 the support of Rubio to boot!

Sen. Marco Rubio (FL) 28%
Rep. Paul Ryan (WI) 16%


I guess some re-edu-makating is in order here!
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/08/09/Poll-Republicans-Prefer-Rubio-as-VP

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Response to tomm2thumbs (Reply #7)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 07:30 AM

10. It's the whole being dead thing.

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Response to tomm2thumbs (Reply #7)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 12:07 PM

23. Dang

There is still a Breitbart website?The guy is dead, let his websites of hate die also. Geez.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 06:50 AM

8. Yep, this Cheesehead is thrilled to be rid of Ryan. Major plus for Rob Zerban...

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Response to Scuba (Reply #8)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 08:36 AM

12. My question to you

is would have have to resign his seat to run or can he stay there and try to keep his seat if he loses?

Not sure if it is a state law decision or federal... ?

I would love to see him out. Period.

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Response to BumRushDaShow (Reply #12)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 08:42 AM

15. He's up for re-election. I suppose he can run for both VP and the House, but I don't expect many...

... Cheeseheads to pick him for either.

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Response to BumRushDaShow (Reply #12)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 05:46 PM

28. He doesn't have to resign, but he has to run for reelection like all house members

He won't have time to run in his own district, but the exposure from the VP slot may be enough. Depends on who's running against him.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 06:55 AM

9. I'm sure he's the candidate wall street wants. Expect billions $$ more to go rmoney's

way and lots more ugly lies on tv drowning out the Obama message.

We gotta work hard keeping these people out of office.

Just remember the further the republicans move to the right, the democrats to some degree follow. It's just reality.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 08:38 AM

14. Ryan doesn't have a prez future they can raise GOPer money with Ryan for congressional seats

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Response to uponit7771 (Reply #14)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 09:40 AM

16. Not according to Romney...

who just introduced him as 'the next President of the United States...'

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 09:46 AM

17. OK at 2 am I emailed this message to the Desperate Blogger








Breaking Paul Ryan just announces that he has chosen Mitt Romney, former Governor of Mass as his running mate.



This morning Romney introduces him as the next President of the United States.

You literally cannot make this shit up.

We can try.

No matter how brain dead we make them look, they will completely swamp us with their own real life insanity.

This isn't satire, this is some science fiction black hole where the most absurd satire is quickly outdone by actual clowns doing it in real life.








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Response to grantcart (Reply #17)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 11:56 AM

21. OMG

He really said that!? LOL Let the games begin.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 09:47 AM

18. Is this satire?

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 09:50 AM

19. Who will fill his seat in congress?

No doubt, his political career is over! He'll go down just like Sarah Palin.

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Response to B Calm (Reply #19)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 10:26 AM

20. He will...

after he wins and Romney loses.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Aug 11, 2012, 05:38 PM

26. Note from Ryan to Cheney: "My work in the House is done. Time to move on."

Dick Cheney: 'I Worship The Ground Paul Ryan Walks On'

Former Vice President Dick Cheney weighed in on the political stature of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) while speaking at an event in Texas on Wednesday, the Houston Chronicle's "Fuel Fix" blog reports.

"I worship the ground the Paul Ryan walks on," he said of the House Budget Committee Chairman. "I hope he doesn't run for president because that would ruin a good man who has a lot of work to do."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/26/dick-cheney-paul-ryan_n_867626.html

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