Why is it if a woman has sex, people say it's "self esteem issues"????

Feel threatened by the female libido, which can make our little urges seem amusing and minor by comparison, if the women in question are free to express themselves sexually.

Unfortunately, human culture has done such a great job of indoctrinating and mind-fucking women, that many women also believe that they don't really have much desire for sex, or that there's something wrong with themselves if they do.

I don't know where you're getting this "always" business, but it's not a representative sample.

Who are these "people who say" - why are you paying attention to folks who gossip about someone else's sex life? Who's making these assumptions about guys and clitorises that seem to upset you so much? How many teachers or high school counselors do you know who ask, students about the correlations between their skirts and their sexual practices?

Christianity, Islam, and other religions are not "sex for babies" cults. Get some perspective, please. I have no idea how you got from religion to gossip rags.

I think your post has more to do with your own concerns than what an objective view of social or media perceptions are. If it were otherwise, you should have cited at least one concrete example from the outside world in your bizarre and out of context rant.

Of course

but they do gossip when a woman gets into an unhealthy relationship with someone more powerful?

Not every single one but the great majority.

Same goes for porn, only men are supposed to like it. That's shows you that cultural rules are made my shovinistic hypocrites.

Very few boys don't typically go around pushing for sex with girls they barely know in order to be popular with girls. A rather larger number do typically go around pushing for sex with girls they barely know to be popular with boys. They think it's their due or they want to be studs. Few say, "I had sex with her because I wanted her to like me." If they hump a girl that they don't know well and the entire school knows, well, oops. The boys tend to think they're using the girls. The girls tend to agree.

Even fewer girls go around pushing for sex with boys they barely know in order to be popular with girls. A somewhat larger number goes around pushing for sex with boys they barely know in order to be popular with boys. It's not their due, it's their dues. "I want him to like me." If they let a boy hump them and the entire school knows they usually get pissed off. Most boys--and girls--tend to think the boys are still using the girls.

Yes, a girl could just like sex. The more the merrier. Or even sort of a posse like the kids a decade or two had going, a notch for each lay. Not how most girls would see it. Probably not going to be the most common reason. The most common reason would be "I just want him to like me." Why does it matter? If he doesn't like you, have some self respect and push off. If you don't, it's, well, commonly referred to as a "self-esteem issue."

Doesn't have to be that way. Not always fair. But social judgments aren't usually fair.

Yes, every dialect of English has a fully formed grammar and is, in principle, equal. In practice, if you speak dialect in the wrong place you're just considered stupid. Doesn't have to be that way. Not always fair. Another social judgment.

In both cases, blame the culture.

The "I just wanted him to like me" seems almost like a coverup for giving into one's desires. The kind of thing one would say if society deemed sex for fun as a "slutty" thing.

I don't say that, and I'm a person. You need to be more specific. Thanks.

They just make shit up.