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Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:45 AM

Interesting day at work today.... (chik-fil-a)

(I work in an office for a major organization)

So today I come into work and see my supervisor standing next to a coworker of mine. As soon as I sit down at my desk, the two of them engage in a conversation within 5 feet from me that starts off with my supervisor saying "So, today we are going to pick up some chik-fil-a. We'll get it for lunch."

Then my coworker turns to me and says "Hey, want some chik-fil-a?" I tell her I'll pass.

About 4 hours later the chik-fil-(a massive amount) is in the lunch room. The same coworker from earlier walks by and says "Hey, sure you don't want some chik-fil-a?" Again, I tell her I'll pass.

Then at the end of the day, I am leaving the building. Same coworker is leaving with a bag of chik-fil-a (apparently they were not able to devour the ridiculous amount of food they purchased earlier), and as I am walking out the door she says "You should have tried some of this chik-fil-a. It would be good for you."

It is known to people at work that I am in a same-sex relationship. Part of me wondered if this was an attempt to create a hostile work environment, or if she was actually completely oblivious to what she was doing.

I have never had any problems at work before, so I am leaning towards "completely oblivious".... but it was very borderline. However, I am sure it was not a coincidence that my coworker and supervisor suddenly decided to get chik-fil-a today.... and I didn't observe them asking anyone else if they wanted some.

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Reply Interesting day at work today.... (chik-fil-a) (Original post)
BBGC Aug 2012 OP
Raster Aug 2012 #1
freshwest Aug 2012 #2
arely staircase Aug 2012 #55
Mira Aug 2012 #83
dixiegrrrrl Aug 2012 #108
Systematic Chaos Aug 2012 #3
lunatica Aug 2012 #27
mazzarro Aug 2012 #86
progressivebydesign Aug 2012 #104
Systematic Chaos Aug 2012 #112
Yeah Its Spin Aug 2012 #4
JI7 Aug 2012 #5
get the red out Aug 2012 #30
nightscanner59 Aug 2012 #6
still_one Aug 2012 #7
Kalidurga Aug 2012 #8
Tom Ripley Aug 2012 #38
justiceischeap Aug 2012 #41
BBGC Aug 2012 #48
progressivebydesign Aug 2012 #106
dballance Aug 2012 #91
dballance Aug 2012 #9
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #18
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #23
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #24
Fla_Democrat Aug 2012 #25
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #26
Fla_Democrat Aug 2012 #88
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #97
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #33
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #66
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #69
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #70
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #71
adigal Aug 2012 #77
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #78
adigal Aug 2012 #82
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #84
Occulus Aug 2012 #93
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #111
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #96
dballance Aug 2012 #89
xmas74 Aug 2012 #95
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #98
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #99
ipfilter Aug 2012 #47
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #65
ipfilter Aug 2012 #68
dballance Aug 2012 #90
xmas74 Aug 2012 #94
Tunkamerica Aug 2012 #109
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #110
Posteritatis Aug 2012 #80
AndyTiedye Aug 2012 #10
LuvNewcastle Aug 2012 #15
AndyTiedye Aug 2012 #62
indie9197 Aug 2012 #11
indie9197 Aug 2012 #12
CrispyQ Aug 2012 #57
truebrit71 Aug 2012 #64
LiberalAndProud Aug 2012 #13
dimbear Aug 2012 #14
laundry_queen Aug 2012 #17
Sherman A1 Aug 2012 #19
CrispyQ Aug 2012 #58
Starry Messenger Aug 2012 #28
woo me with science Aug 2012 #75
rad51 Aug 2012 #85
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2012 #16
The Doctor. Aug 2012 #20
KurtNYC Aug 2012 #21
Shankapotomus Aug 2012 #22
BBGC Aug 2012 #43
Mr Dixon Aug 2012 #29
GaYellowDawg Aug 2012 #31
Jeff In Milwaukee Aug 2012 #32
slampoet Aug 2012 #34
cap Aug 2012 #35
reflection Aug 2012 #36
tjwash Aug 2012 #37
justiceischeap Aug 2012 #42
HillWilliam Aug 2012 #39
GoCubsGo Aug 2012 #40
Ganja Ninja Aug 2012 #44
grasswire Aug 2012 #87
goclark Aug 2012 #45
ellie Aug 2012 #46
99Forever Aug 2012 #49
HopeHoops Aug 2012 #50
gollygee Aug 2012 #51
southernyankeebelle Aug 2012 #52
DCKit Aug 2012 #53
hamsterjill Aug 2012 #54
MagickMuffin Aug 2012 #56
ecstatic Aug 2012 #59
Rob H. Aug 2012 #60
southmost Aug 2012 #61
GardeningGal Aug 2012 #63
Odin2005 Aug 2012 #67
just1voice Aug 2012 #72
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #73
Zoeisright Aug 2012 #74
BBGC Aug 2012 #92
tilsammans Aug 2012 #105
adigal Aug 2012 #76
ProdigalJunkMail Aug 2012 #79
Posteritatis Aug 2012 #81
awoke_in_2003 Aug 2012 #100
patrice Aug 2012 #101
awoke_in_2003 Aug 2012 #102
progressivebydesign Aug 2012 #103
Mojorabbit Aug 2012 #107

Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:49 AM

1. It's called passive/aggressive homophobic bigotry.

And yes, she knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

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Response to Raster (Reply #1)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:53 AM

2. +1

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Response to Raster (Reply #1)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:07 AM

55. yeah

That was no coincidence.

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Response to Raster (Reply #1)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:35 PM

83. Exactly. And the mantle of cowardice

that has in the past stopped her from showing her colors was lifted by the Chick -Fil -et actions. Just lifted. Not removed.
I'd steer clear of her with big smiles, and few words.
I'm proud to say I've never ever darkened the door of any of those places. Now I know I never will.

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Response to Raster (Reply #1)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 05:59 AM

108. Yep.

If I worked there, I would document stuff like this, like you just did, and do it privately, at home, using names, dates and times.
It may escalate.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:53 AM

3. It would have been as "good for you" as any other fast food...

...with the exception of a side salad with fat free dressing or a Veggie Delite from Subway, which is to say not at all.

So, you had two valid reasons to pass it up, right?

As for the office employees, if they haven't said or done anything suspect before, I'd assume their intentions were good and they were just offering you free food. I'd recommend not worrying about them at this stage, though I understand why you'd be scratching your head.

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Response to Systematic Chaos (Reply #3)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:26 AM

27. Are you serious?

Just because someone isn't overtly hostile doesn't mean their intentions are innocent. Did you not get the memo about why it was Chik-fil-a day? I think the OP would be wise to assume the worst.

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Response to lunatica (Reply #27)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:30 PM

86. +100 %

This was a deliberate attempt to provoke.

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Response to Systematic Chaos (Reply #3)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:40 AM

104. Owning my disagree. If they had gone to Taco Bell... they would not be saying the name repeatedly..

they would have said "we're going to taco bell, want something?" and that would have been it. Not constantly repeating the name of the place, and then coming up and saying "you should have had Taco Bell, it was really good." That's not normal conversation. It was deliberate.

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Response to progressivebydesign (Reply #104)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:46 PM

112. Alright, I get it. I'm being hopelessly naive.

Given the state of my life right now, you'll have to forgive me for desperately wanting to look for something positive in a given situation whether it's there or not.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:54 AM

4. chik-fil-a

 

cures tha gay

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:56 AM

5. doesn't sound like a coincidence to me

that it just happened to be today. ok, lets say it was.

but repeatedly asking you throughout the day if you want some ??????? and the comment at the end of the day "it would be good for you" ?????

think of other times where people are truly just being nice and offering food. if you say no, ,they might ask one more time, but they aren't going to make comments even at the end of the day and the "it woudl be good for you" type crap.

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Response to JI7 (Reply #5)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:57 AM

30. That makes sense

Usually at work when there is left over food people look for takers saying "I don't want this to go to waste, surely someone can take it home". I've never heard anyone say "It will be good for you". And if you are just trying to use up food, you don't keep coming back to the same person who didn't want any to begin with.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:57 AM

6. Supporting the free speech that snowballs to youth brutal bullying does not come without retaliation


That's exactly what demonizing a whole group produces. This overblown sense of superiority in the eyes of Gawd would not earn the Cheezus seal of approval-- did not he say something akin to "let the sinless throw the first stone?"
Yes the Chick has actively engaged in far more discriminatory activity than just speech, in the form of donations to uber right wing factions, interviewing practices that exclude those "not of the faith", of young folks fired (on drummed-up infractions) but well known for suspected gay activity

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:02 AM

7. They were definitely trying to get your goat /nt

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:07 AM

8. I would talk to Human Resources....

probably tread lightly see if your Human Resource person is more or less inclined to help. If s/he is inclined let them know what your concerns are. If not then I am guessing you have a 1-800 number to report to. At the very least this will be documented.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #8)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:06 AM

38. THIS is very good advice (n/t)

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #8)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:43 AM

41. If you company has an anti-discrimination clause that includes sexual orientation

then I would definitely report this to HR. It could be construed as a form of harassment.

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Response to justiceischeap (Reply #41)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:00 AM

48. Southern state unfortunately

And possibly the only place I have ever worked that includes only the federal mandated protected classes in its policy.

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Response to BBGC (Reply #48)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:42 AM

106. :( and no doubt a right-to-work State, as well. n/t

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #8)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:53 PM

91. I wish it were that easy.

I grew up in the South. Although many HR professionals are appalled by what goes on they are usually powerless to effect any real changes. Or to bring real grievances to light and have the corporation act on them.

I left my job as Director of Information Services - the top IT guy (just under VP) at a corporation in small-town TN when I was outed by a gossipy little bitch and I'm not sorry I called her bitch. She was a friend of one of my best friends wives. Of course I had confided in my best friends who I really am. And of course they shared that with their wives. I don't have a problem with that. I believe being part of a married couple is sharing everything.

Unfortunately one their wives shared my sexual orientation with one her friends who worked in a rather low-level position at the same company at which I worked. It was probably a real feather in her cap to out the Director fag at work.

Well it was all down-hill from there. No annual review, no annual raise, no bonus. The writing on the wall was quite clear. It was a trucking company made up of rednecks and white trash who managed to do well and become the owners and most of the VP's. They were the epitome of the "good 'ole boys network."

There was nothing the HR director could do to make any sort of difference. And there was nothing overt enough I could think of legal action. They may have been white trash but they paid retainers to good attorneys.

So my best advice is, unfortunately, don't go to HR. Don't make yourself a target. Fight battles you have a chance of winning.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:08 AM

9. If the co-worker had not said...

"You should have tried some of this chik-fil-a. It would be good for you."

I would have leaned toward the obliviously stupid opinion, but I can't see many interpretations of that person's statement when it includes the "It would be good for you" sentiment.

What exactly would have been "good for you" by trying that food? Good for you to eat obviously breaded, deep-fried chicken and starchy waffle fries that are oil-fried and drowned in salt and Ketchup which is mainly sugar and tomato sauce?

Under no circumstances can I fathom any doctor or nutritionist telling you that meal would be "good for you."

I'm going to bet your poor schmuck co-worker has thoughts he/she can still save you from your aberrant lifestyle you obviously chose to live and throw in the face of your family, society, God and Jesus Christ.

Or your co-worker knows how bigoted your whole work place is and was trying to tell you to try to "fit in" because most people in your office don't like fags and you're singling yourself out for abuse.

I'm sure they're praying for you in any case.

Realistically speaking I don't think there is a damned thing you can do about this affront. It's too subtle and not witnessed by others who might not think as I believe this particular co-worker does.

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Response to dballance (Reply #9)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:11 AM

18. "breaded, deep-fried chicken"

They throw multiple birds into the same grinder and steamer and then use a meat glue and squirt the mixture like a plastic into uniform shapes. Then they coat that with another slurry of breading that goes on like a spray paint. Then it's quick frozen and shipped

Take a bite and you could have the flesh of hundreds of birds swirling around your bridgework.

And to think, the owner of the company claims semen is disgusting?

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #18)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:58 AM

23. you are factually incorrect

they use breastmeat...it is not ground up...ever.

but you don't care...makes you feel better because it matches with what you THINK is true.

sP

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #23)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:17 AM

24. Why do they look like they came out of a cookie cutter?

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #24)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:21 AM

25. Because....

chickens only come in one shape?







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Response to Fla_Democrat (Reply #25)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:22 AM

26. They're shaped like nuggets too?

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #26)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:42 PM

88. No, they're actually shaped like

cut chicken breast. It's ok, I get it.... you have never been there, and are going off the 'typical' chicken sandwich available most places.


The only thing I have found to beat it is a local place... Lindy's

http://crawfordvillelindys.com/menu.html

I prefer the one on East Lafayette, but all of them are good.





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Response to Fla_Democrat (Reply #88)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:47 AM

97. Here's my local place.



Family owned with a lunch special under $5.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #24)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:20 AM

33. you have obviously never seen the difference

between a marketing/advertising photo and the real product.

sP

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #33)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:58 PM

66. You mean it looks worse than that???

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #66)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:00 PM

69. what marketing photo looks worse than the actual product? n/t

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #69)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:48 PM

70. Easy.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #70)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 05:52 PM

71. ok, i'll try to be more specific since your mind appears to have wandered

what FOOD marketing/advertisement photo looks worse than the product?

do you KNOW what a chicken breast filet looks like? have you ever eaten at chick-fil-a? because if you had, you would know your opening salvo in this little exchange is a lie? and if you haven't...you would be just spewing garbage.

sP

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #71)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:25 PM

77. It's crap food, you are hijacking this thread

There is no way it was good for the OP, so please try to not wander off the subject 15 ties.

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Response to adigal (Reply #77)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:27 PM

78. so, someone comes into a thread

posts a complete and utter lie and it's not ok to call them on it? ok...i see what makes you happy.

sP

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #78)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:34 PM

82. You corrected it, let it go. Forest for the trees. Nt

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Response to adigal (Reply #82)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:38 PM

84. i see the forest and the trees in it...

i am simply responding to the lie and the continued effort at propagating it. look back through and you'll see that even though, as you say, i have corrected it, he/she continues to press that this is not real chicken. the point i am trying to make with individual in question is simple : fight chick-fil-a and their religious adherents with FACTS, not made up bullshit.

however, i can certainly see where this could be disconcerting for the OP in a thread about workplace environment...so i will concede that point and simply hope that the other person i am trying to deal with here gets the point.

thanks,
sP

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #84)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:15 AM

93. "fight chick-fil-a and their religious adherents with FACTS"

Because that works, ever, with people like that.

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Response to Occulus (Reply #93)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 08:36 AM

111. OK, just make up shit then... n/t

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #71)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:31 AM

96. I'm in Southern California.

We have been spared from this megalomaniac's crappy food.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #24)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:19 PM

89. I used to live in the South where there were many CFA stores and I ate there -

they were real chicken breasts. From my experience I don't think they grind everything up and then spit out cookie-cutter "breasts" for their sandwiches. I don't remember about the nuggets so I won't say those, like so many other fast food chain's nuggets, might not be an amalgamation of many chickens. I can tell you where the breast is on a chicken but I'll be damned if I can tell you where the nugget is

When I used to eat at CFA the chicken was obviously a real, whole chicken breast. I'd lean to the opinion that their buyers look for a certain size and shape of chicken to buy for consistency's sake and to be able to project and control costs by being sure of what they are buying. That is their job. I know Tyson's does a pretty good job of packaging chicken breasts, legs, and wings that all seem factory-made.

Oh a side note. I went to college with an acquaintance whose grand-parents owned large chicken farms. The kind with thousands upon thousands of chickens in, apparently, nasty conditions. He would not EVER touch chicken or chicken wings whenever a group of us went out to bars or resturants. He told us once that if we knew what really went on, on those farms we'd never eat chicken again either.

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Response to dballance (Reply #89)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:24 AM

95. I know the manager of the local store-`

the nuggets are cut bite sized from the same breasts used for the chicken sandwiches. The grilled are obviously not breaded, the fried are breaded in store, the nuggets are cut from the same chicken breasts and are also breaded in store.

They've donated in the past cups and such for youth sports and I've watched them prep the nuggets while picking up the cups. I would venture a guess that they won't be donating as much as they used to. At least I no longer have to do all the begging for sports so I won't have to go back.

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Response to dballance (Reply #89)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:59 AM

98. I had chickens on the ranch but only for eggs.

They were free range and the dogs were there to protect them from predators. They went into the coop at night on their own.

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Response to ProdigalJunkMail (Reply #23)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:03 AM

99. You know what's funny?

I got about as many people correcting me on this as I got over a gun issue.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #18)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:57 AM

47. I hate to admit it but I worked for this place when I was a teenager.

They use 100% breast meat. It is first dipped in a wash of egg and milk then dredged in a seasoned flour mixture. They are cooked in a pressure fryer in peanut oil. If a breast is over the weight limit it is trimmed and those trimmings are thrown in with the nuggets which are diced tenderloins. The frying of course destroys any nutritional value. It may be 100% chicken but it's still fast food.

The corporate culture is that of sanctimonious church goers who look down their noses at everyone. It's pretty common knowledge that they encourage their franchise owners to hire kids from local churches. I remember watching an orientation video where the CEO said they are closed on Sunday so the workers can go to church....bleh.

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Response to ipfilter (Reply #47)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:56 PM

65. "I worked for this place"

Did you know Ken Lay of Enron used to start off board meetings with a prayer?

Their God is all about profit.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #65)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:09 PM

68. I worked for another small business later in life who's fundy owner

also prayed to the god of mammon for sales and profits during weekly "prayer meetings". Fortunately they were not mandatory meetings.

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Response to ipfilter (Reply #47)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:32 PM

90. You have no reason to apologize or feel guilty

So don't hate to admit it.

You got a job in a fast-food restaurant as a kid because you maybe wanted to buy your own car or the next new, awesome game console. I can't imagine you had the foggiest clue about what corporate was doing with the money at that time. In the grand scheme of things you did the right thing by trying to be independent, earn your own money and be self-sufficient. That's admirable.

So be okay with yourself. I am.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #18)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:19 AM

94. Actually,

they really are whole chicken breasts and they are breaded in store.
(I know the manager of the local Chik-Fil-A and I've watched them do it. Same with the nuggets-whole chicken breast cut into bite size pieces and then breaded in store.)

I didn't say the breasts were high quality. They are usually the smallest breasts and often come from places like Tyson's and such but it is a real chicken breast and it really is breaded in store.

I won't be eating there anymore but it's not because of the product-it's not compressed chicken bits, compared to most fast food chicken sandwiches. I'm not eating there because the Cathy family is full of homophobes who donate to causes and organizations that I don't approve and I don't want my money funding their causes.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #18)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 07:09 AM

109. chikfila's not bad food for what it is. I haven't been there in several months but you're

making leaps that just aren't true.

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Response to Tunkamerica (Reply #109)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 07:21 AM

110. I know, but it was damn funny.

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Response to dballance (Reply #9)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:29 PM

80. Yeah, that's the point where it became obvious that it wasn't about the food. (nt)

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:14 AM

10. Start Looking

Your supervisor has let you know what he really thinks of you. This will not end well for you if you stay.
Find another job if you can.

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Response to AndyTiedye (Reply #10)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:04 AM

15. I agree.

The actors involved in that little morality play were trying to be offensive and thought they were being funny and clever about it. There certainly is some hostility there, but complaining about it would more than likely accomplish nothing. I would try my best to find another job with a better class of co-workers.

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Response to LuvNewcastle (Reply #15)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:30 PM

62. Particularly Since One of Them is His Boss

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:18 AM

11. wow that sucks for you

don't know what else to say...

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:27 AM

12. continued

maybe I was too harsh. If you like working there keep up the good work. Maybe you can change their opinion of alternate lifestyles. If you go to HR there will be repercussions. HR is not there for the workers. Good luck

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Response to indie9197 (Reply #12)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:44 AM

57. "HR is not there for the workers."

That is the truth! To the OP, You co-workers were showing their bigotry, but I'd look for another job before I would take anything to HR.

I was an assistant to a CFO for a few years. HR reported to her. In that time, there were a couple of sexual harassment complaints, both legit. Even though they took the complainant very seriously & handled it appropriately, let me tell you, behind closed doors, it didn't matter if you were the complainant or the harasser, your name was dirt to upper management.

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #57)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:52 PM

64. Yup, they are there to protect the corporation from the workers..NOT the other way around...

...

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:47 AM

13. I hope it was just one bad day.

The undercurrent you felt was subtle, but I think present.



I hope your tomorrow is better.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:55 AM

14. Start a notebook. Not at work, at home. Write down the dates and times and the remarks.

Never know when you might want to remember very exactly.

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Response to dimbear (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:11 AM

17. +1

document document document

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Response to dimbear (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:21 AM

19. Precisely

Document everything and continue to ignore their non-work conversation (including sports, weather, etc) . You may end up being isolated, but that is probably better than the alternative of letting them get you blood boiling.

Don't let them get any reaction from you and eventually you will find that they calm down and stop bothering you.

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Response to Sherman A1 (Reply #19)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:49 AM

58. Good advice.

It's hard to be isolated in your work environment, but if the OP is going to stay there, this is good advice.

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Response to dimbear (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:44 AM

28. This.

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Response to dimbear (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:19 PM

75. agree strongly nt

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Response to dimbear (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:43 PM

85. Very good advice.

I hope this is a misunderstanding and you have no further problems.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:59 AM

16. "It would be good for you." LOL!!!

So now some crappy breaded fried chicken parts are a cure for teh gay?

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:23 AM

20. You work with children.

 

Sure, they look and dress like adults, but they are children.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:51 AM

21. You did great.

It seems like they were trying hard to get a reaction from you.

Have they ever brought in Chik-fil-a before? Is there any other explanation for them suddenly foisting chick-fil-a on everyone ?

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:52 AM

22. That is terrible

I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

I just want to give you a hug.

Get out of there, if you can.

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Response to Shankapotomus (Reply #22)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:48 AM

43. I'm completing my B.S. at a state university this December

Definitely will be out the door after that....

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:49 AM

29. IMO

Keep your head up, some people are clueless and others are assholes from your story I canít tell which is which so leave it alone, focus on what makes you happy.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:59 AM

31. You handled it beautifully

And I'm sorry you were subjected to their bullying.

In an ideal world, you'd secure another job, then go to HR and get those two in really hot water, and be able to demand a really fat severance check on your way to a better job in a better environment. But it's not an ideal world, and not being there, I can't legitimately offer advice - only sympathy.

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Response to GaYellowDawg (Reply #31)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:02 AM

32. I'll second that...

You're better than they are.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:27 AM

34. Start making tape recordings. Not all states require that you inform others that you are recording

a conversation that you are a participant in.

I did this in Rhode Island when my boss hired a skinhead from the Aryan Brotherhood as a coworker

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:37 AM

35. my suspicion is that it was deliberate

There was a call to the rightwing to go out and buy food at chick fil a in support of their homophobic agenda. I would pull up some news reports/"call to action" talking about supporting chick fil a by buying food there on a certain day. It's a little too obvious. Someone went and supported chick fil a by buying a huge amount of food... so much that they had to take it home. If they had bought it on another day, it might have been coincidental.

Do you guys usually eat chick fil a? If not, I think you got a very clear cut complaint going to personnel. It would have been one thing if they had bought chick fil a and not said anything to you. The other thing is that given that it is a large company, they generally want to steer clear of controversy and may not want to support chick fil a. A lot of big companies these days are doing diversity training for LGBT. If so, your company may not want anything to do with chick fil a.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:52 AM

36. Sounds shady.

You probably should have asked her to clarify why it would be good for you. Make her say it.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:02 AM

37. if your hr is like most, they exist to cover managements asses, and not to help employees

So be careful

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Response to tjwash (Reply #37)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:47 AM

42. Yes, but when potential lawsuits could sully the Corps reputation

HR has been known to act in the "employee's" favor. I work for a well-known non-profit. I've encountered sexual harassment twice (neither directed at me but I overheard it). One was fired immediately because he was a contractor the other was given warnings until he "jokingly" threatened to bring a gun to work, which earned him a pink slip.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:12 AM

39. Glad I wasn't there and she wasn't directing her idiocy toward me.

I'm getting to a "certain age" and have attained a certain irascibility with idiots. I can see how that conversation would go.

Her: "Come have some Chick-fil-A"

Me: "Let me lend you a dog. I have six and can spare one for an hour or so."

Her: "Why?"

Me: "You've obviously lost your damn mind and need some help finding it. Dogs have good noses and might can help you track it down. My PART. NERRRRR wouldn't mind so long as you took good care of her." (cold, pointed stare over my glasses...)

I have little patience for fools.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:38 AM

40. I'm guessing that one or both are obliviously deliberate.

Like most of the people standing in those lines yesterday, she likely has no clue as to what is the real controversy. She got her marching orders from a faux Christian (Hucksterbee) to go eat at this restaurant in order to defend another faux Christian who is supposedly under attack from all us evil, godless llibruls. The suckers that lined up to by Cathy's slop yesterday likely have no idea about his background, and what sorts of things he helps finance. (And, I dare say that a significant portion of them either wouldn't care, or agree with him, if they knew.)

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:49 AM

44. You should have told her that the last time you ate there you found glass in your filet.

Or about your friend that use to work there and would spit in the sauce every day.

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Response to Ganja Ninja (Reply #44)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 07:39 PM

87. ha!

good one.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:51 AM

45. goclark wishes she could have been there


and heard that said to you ~ I would have gladly been arrested for slapping that fool!

That Idiot should have been fired!



Keep us posted and if I were you I would keep a little tape recorder in my pocket and always ask a friend to be around you at all times so they can catch the remarks.

" I am sure it was not a coincidence that my coworker and supervisor suddenly decided to get chik-fil-a today.... and I didn't observe them asking anyone else if they wanted some."

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 09:53 AM

46. "It would be good for you"?

Fried, processed crap is good for you? I would have told them, thanks but I am too concerned with my health to eat that. Go ahead, though.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:21 AM

49. Classic good KKKhristian passive aggressive behavior.

Insults by proxy.

On the upside, at least now you know who the real homophobic jerks are.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:37 AM

50. At least register your concerns with HR. If it happens again, there will be a record of this time.

 

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:39 AM

51. I count four times? That is unlikely to be a coincidence.

I'm sorry you're dealing with a work environment like that. I hope it's just the one person.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:49 AM

52. Well be on the look out for anything. I would start taking notes on these kinds of situations.

 

Make sure to write times and dates and who was involved. Remember all the names you can of people who noticed that they didn't ask if they wanted chicken.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 10:57 AM

53. One bite, and you'd have never heard the end of it.

 

You did the right thing. However, I agree with the other posters about the hostility.

On the other hand, just how long are those folks willing to support Chik-Fil-A? Your refusal to play their games could result in a personal bankruptcy or three.

If they do, in fact, stop buying, then what's the point? A one time, empty gesture and the franchise ends up going out of business.

You've already won the battle and the war.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:03 AM

54. This was not an innocent coincidence

Of course not. That said, you did the right thing - at least at this point.

I would (as suggested herein) start keeping a record of this, and any future comments, etc. that might be out of line. You should not have to be subjected to treatment like this. Of course, we all know we don't live in a perfect world, but a historical record will certainly be valuable should you ever find it necessary to pursue a matter like this with H/R, etc.

As much as possible, I'd ignore them...and smile every time I saw my paycheck in my bank account! Someone told me long ago: "You shouldn't live to work. You should work to live." So work there to have the means to enjoy your life OUTSIDE of this organization and do your best to enjoy your time away from these people. The best payback is to be genuinely happy in your home life, and let that show when you have to be in your work environment. These idiots will most assuredly be sorely jealous of that!

Best of luck!

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:29 AM

56. I would have taken the food the last time it was offered, then spit in it and chunk it in the trash

She probably would have gasped and reached for her smelling salts.


I'm sorry you have to work with intolerant people. Unfortunately, this is something we must all endure because these people have no self control. They just can't seem to help themselves when it comes to hurting other people. They are weaklings and do not understand how to think for themselves. This is what happens when we lose the ability to use critical thinking skills. We become intolerant of our fellow human beings.


Just know in your heart that you are loved, and they do not matter in the least of who you are.


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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:57 AM

59. Does she usually offer you food several times

after you've already said no? I think she may have been trying to use you as a token and maybe as a possible photo op, but I'm naturally suspicious. Maybe when you find yourself alone with her again, ask her if she knew about the owner's comments.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:16 PM

60. It sure as hell sounds intentional to me

Continuing to ask you after you said "No"? I think you're right to believe it wasnt a coincidence. On a side note, I'm in the South, and the Chick-fil-A's here were jam-packed yesterday to the point of causing traffic problems.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:27 PM

61. it was most likely passive-aggressive harrassment

hard to prove, but obvious to me.... happened here at work too...

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:48 PM

63. Doubt the coworker was oblivious

However, if someone had said to me that "it would be good for you", I would have asked them to explain how exactly that food fried in a bunch of fat was good for anyone. That way you could confront them without getting into the political issue.

As I've gotten older I prefer to speak up to people like that instead of letting them get away with it. Sometimes they are oblivious but more likely it's someone trying to be passive/aggressive and I'm tired of the BS.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:41 PM

67. Passive-Agressive bigotry.

YUCK!!!

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:00 PM

72. Sure, just assume your racist co-worker is "completely oblivious"

 

No need to hold people accountable for anything.

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Response to just1voice (Reply #72)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:16 PM

73. are you fucking kidding me?

did you actually just use the word 'racist' in relation to this conversation??? holy FUCK!

sP

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:17 PM

74. That sounds like an attempt to create a hostile work environment.

I very, very, VERY much doubt it was innocent. Are you in a position to file a report?

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Response to Zoeisright (Reply #74)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 12:08 AM

92. Not really in an ideal position to do that

I doubt it would do any good anyway.

I'm letting this slide on the possibility no harm was intended, but I will be observant of future behavior.

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Response to BBGC (Reply #92)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:41 AM

105. You'll be out of there soon, but . . .

. . . meanwhile, document such conversations. Just in case.

Here's to your successful search for a job with tolerant, caring, non-judgmental coworkers!

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:21 PM

76. I can feel my blood pressure rising as ia read this!

Okay, I am learning to give people the benefit of the doubt. But it seems pretty obvious they were doing this to bait you. Shame on them. I am very sorry this happened to you. Is there any place you can report this? I know, probably not. I am sorry.

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Response to adigal (Reply #76)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:29 PM

79. the fact that they did it OVER and OVER

leads me to the conclusion there was no 'innocence' to it and that they were trying to make a point and that the point was creating a hostile environment...it really does need to be reported...

sP

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Thu Aug 2, 2012, 06:31 PM

81. That doesn't look like an attempt to make a hostile environment, it looks like a success. (nt)

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:15 AM

100. Assholes. nt

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:29 AM

101. So petty! God, what has happened to people's pride? SHAME.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:31 AM

102. "it will be good for you"...

sounds an awful lot like telling a lesbian she is gay because she hasn't been screwed right. It sounds like intimidation to me.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 01:38 AM

103. You're being too kind. It was obviously a passive/aggressive attack.

And yes, a hostile workplace. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that. It was totally inappropriate and cruel.

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Response to BBGC (Original post)

Fri Aug 3, 2012, 03:06 AM

107. ((Hug)). nt

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