Would you date a conservative?

Like a woman with no sense of humor or compassion.

I have dated one true-blue conservative. We got along very well and I enjoyed political having political discussions with her.

In fact, just about the only thing politics dicates in my life is the way I vote.

I could see it if it was just they way they voted, and they weren't really into politics otherwise.

I have right wing relatives who always bring politics up and state their (morainic) views unasked. This kind of person who kept bringing it up would be annoying.

have wanted to date her anyway.

Good point though.

but then most Democrats I know are the actual conservatives.

I'm not into bestiality.

Not anyone whose conservatism contradicted my basic Christian code of ethics. But I have never let a disagreement over tax rates keep me from loving someone, or even having a little fun.

So, nah. Life.is.too short and precious for ideologically screening romantic interests.

My wife is not really political, but her views are damn near as liberal as mine and she's got a heart of gold. I'm a very lucky man.

The two conservative types I knew before meeting her were basket cases -- one pretty bad and the other off the charts. I'm glad I survived them both to be with who I'm with today, that's all I know.

Seriously, I go for women with brains now, so that leaves conservatives (today's conservatives that is) out.

It's not worth the headaches and fights. I wonder all too often what the hell is wrong with them, and I don't want to live that every day.

But if they didn't believe in some very basic common principles, I don't think the relationship would last very long.

I can't imagine I'd have anything in common with a conservative.

For a woman to take such stances reads, "complete idiot."

I think a better question is would you change your political beliefs for a romantic interest? I have had long term relationships with conservatives, liberals, moderates and the apathetic, mostly the latter. But I have never changed my opinion on an issue just to please a lover. Some have changed my mind on some specific issues nut none have altered my core beleliefs.

That is, unfortunately, not true of some people I know.

I have a very good friend who has been a serious progressive all her life. She is.30 years old and very intelligent, big Obama supporters, etc. She meets a libertarian guy, they get real serious. Nothing wrong with that. What OS disturbing is that overnight she is concerned about th federal reserve and tax rates - though she makes 30 grand a year. She still hates war and imperialism and that is good

My political beliefs are one and the same as my deepest held values. I am only interested in dating someone who deserves my respect and shares my basic values. If they've signed on to a value system that embraces and even celebrates ignorance, intolerance , and everything else MODERN conservatism has come to represent and stand for, even if they themselves embody a disconnect and are personally nice (once upon a time conservatism was an honorable viewpoint that I respectfully disagreed with, but not any more. it's now the home of vile hate mongering bigots) , then dating them would be, and is, absolutely out of the question.

I can believe there once was a time when Republicons were just conservative, tight-fisted, overly pragmatic people--but generally polite and civilized and willing to work with Democrats from time to time. In other words, that they played fair. That they weren't hell bent on stealing it ALL.

But, NO more. Anyone who aligns with the Republican party of today and cheerfully votes for Bombney is just plain stupid, or worse --delusional, uninformed, selfish and mean-spirited. Extremely limited, closed-minded thinkers. Not the kind of people I want to have much of any relationship with--not even friendship. Dating would be impossible. At best I can pity (a tiny violin) the ones who are not directly wreaking havoc.

Being a Liberal today means being smarter, wiser, fairly generous--and above all, a decent human being.

as being able to have a real long term relationship with today's type of Republican, that's for sure. I certainly could not be in a relationship like my current relationship with someone who was too conservative - I wouldn't want to have merged finances and I'm not even sure I'd want to own property with someone too conservative. I can't see someone like that sharing my fundamental values. I have enough conflicts with some of my current partner's views which are not as liberal as mine are. They are minor things (mostly conservation related ... water use, buying new as opposed to used, things like that). I'm too passionately pro-choice, anti-war, pro-raising taxes on the wealthy (I didn't even want to start with my in-laws this weekend who don't want to the exemption lowered back to $1,000,000 - apparently they are worth enough more than that their two children might have to pay taxes on their inheritance - even though I would directly benefit my attitude is that my partner didn't earn that money and so should have to pay taxes on it), pro-single-payer, pro-welfare, pro-free-education, etc.

I also don't think a conservative could stomach me!

I was a whole lot tipsy, and so was she, and it's usually against my rules, but she said something about having waitress costumes, not the long dress mind you, the short type.

She was also attractive too.

Of course, we somehow got onto god, and that was the end of that.

and then they said those things you usually only read on right-wing pages on the internet. (jawdrop)

it would be a huge turnoff to me. like "is that what you really think" ??????????

Would I get her intoxicated and take her home in a shopping cart ala "Animal House"?


Maybe

It depends on if I listen to the little angel or the little devil.


On the other hand, I did convert my wife. She was a complete believer in the "welfare queen" myth when I first met her.

A week of listening to Rachel Maddow was the clincher.

Thanks Rachel (and Ed, and Lawrence)

However, if someone is a serious committed right-winger, then they are likely to be harsh toward people's weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and to assume that others who cannot do or deal with certain things are 'making excuses'. I could not deal with that in a close relationship. Therefore the assumed scenario is very unlikely.

Yes, I have dated them if they were into my hee hee sexual games but I must confess I doubted their intelligence and had little respect for them outside the arena.

Keep in mind that we are willing to "date" a wide range of people, but we might have a much more narrow range for willing to "move in with" or "marry." Many of us are guilty of "dating" people we thought idiots, just for the use of their body.

He is nonpolitical, doesn't vote. Lately we have been talking politics though he is starting to come around. He still doesn't want to vote though.

But a conservative, a wingnut, someone who thinks that safety nets aren't needed, teachers are overpaid, catsup is a vegetable, and government should be drowned in a bathtub?

No way. Those sorts have no damn soul.

there is no way I would EVER have sex with a social conservative.

thought he was a conservative, but he wasn't. He was socially very liberal and leaned left fiscally as well. He was a registered (R) but rarely voted that way. He was the love of my life. He lost his fight w/ cancer 2 years ago. And I still mss him.

Conservative gay men tend to be self-loathing and therefore have a lot of emotional baggage. I'm not a sadist.

but she's not political and is definitely not a social conservative.

He thinks that me being a Democrat makes me the more conservative one. It isn't so much political positions that make me unlikely to be in an LTR with a conservative--it's the warped values that seem to go along with being conservative these days.

is psychology. So yes, being as our political preferences are connected to our personal psychology, I wouldn't date a conservative.

There is no way I could like "everything else about them" because there is to much of someone's values involved with being a conservative or a liberal.

The attraction would be purely physical and as soon as I got to know her I would begin to be less attracted to her. Once I start explaining why she is wrong on so many things she would also stop being attracted to me.

The only chance is a quick meaningless hook up when neither of us know the other one.

so no, I wouldn't. (hypothetical answer, happily married to a liberal for 26 years)

He thought we were so cute, like a dharma and greg couple. I told him we were never going to work long term. I enjoyed going out with him and we had a great group of friends to hang out with but that was it. He had a good heart but I think he felt better being labeled a Republican so he'd fit in.

and wealthy to vote yes. They don't have to be affected by the policies they pretend to care about. There is no way I could date someone that thinks my family should be dead or homeless. I just don't see being able to set that aside for the evening and having a bottle of wine.

For a lot of us, it isn't just "politics" and banter...it's a real fight for survival.

If you have hate for humanity in any form there's no room in my life for you.

I have friends and relatives, but that's different from a potential spouse. No, I don't think I could.

I live in the boonies where most everyone knows everyone or at least knows someone who is very acquainted with you. None of the women I've been involved with had expressed any interest in politics and I didn't ask. I know my former wife voted straight Dem but as for the girlfriends, I have no idea how they voted and for a few, I don't know if they voted or not.

doesn't matter to me what their political ideology is as long as they keep their mouth shut in the rack (moaning, groaning and the occasional "ohhh, God... ohhhh, God" is acceptable), and marriage isn't on the radar.

Hell... I'd do Sarah Palin as long as she kept quite.

Our 25th anniversary is in December.

He was a nice guy but we argued too much. So I'm not sure how to vote. I am married to a liberal, but I did date a conservative, but it was a problematic relationship so maybe not again.

When I was young, I presumed my peers were environmentalist and skeptical. Now, I know that most Americans cannot perceive how "media and corporately screwed" we are. I have also perceived this vein of indifference and cruelty.

Answer: I would not.

and actually get along real well with my conservative ex, but we don't talk politics, either. Then again, his conservative leanings didn't start to show until a year or two after we'd broken up and he'd become a born again Christian and started listening to right wing radio shows. He's wanted to get back together for years, but, no. Conservative men are a big turn off, though. Always have been for me. It's also a big turn off when a guy is still married (he wasn't married when we dated), claims he's getting a divorce and wants a commitment before he's gotten out of his own. Typical conservative hypocrisy.

Not that important to me. Definitely not worth destroying a relationship or friendship over. I have family that are on the totally opposite side of the spectrum and I would never let politics ruin the family relationship.

Politics isn't going to keep you warm at night or help you out when your car won't start.

It's an entire worldview.

A persons party affIliation doesn't define their character ... Unless you are stereotyping them. Even the democratic party isn't homogenous in their political beliefs and what is important to them. Somehow I doubt the republican party is any different

Would you date a 'conservative'? That actually means something different to me than 'would you date a republican?' Just consider this: most of the rightwing blowhards on fox news and AM radio consider themselves conservatives more than they consider themselves republicans. That's all I need to know about a person.

Shades of conservatism just as there are shades of liberalism, or progressivism if you prefer. I will not simply prejudge someone based on a simple label. Prejudice of all kinds is not a part of who I am

they are probably a very hateful and selfish person. At least that's how I define a conservative. If you want to date that woman, it's your prerogative. Personally, I know there are a lot more non-conservatives I'd rather spend my time with.

Or are they all the same ???

But to me, if someone is conservative, they're at least mostly conservative. I mean, there's some things about me that can be considered conservative, but I'm still a raging liberal overall.

"Politics is just not that important to me"

I find it amusing that you say "Politics is just not that important to me", yet here you are on political discussion board...

A modern Teahadist woman? Not even for the sex. The fact that they subscribe to a party whose ruling males secretly (and some, not-so-secretly) wish to control women . . . right off the bat, something's a bit askew, I think. That and the GOP's attitudes towards labor and their Trickle-Down beliefs .. .. .. no.

liberal guy. Though the guys I've dated have been democratic, most of them hold at least one RW stance--for instance, my SO has been making bitter comments about a woman's right to choose. As long as they're not outspoken about their views or challenging my views, I can put up with it... One guy from my past was a little too vocal about his views, and as a result, I lost respect for him; a relationship without respect cannot work.

Do I have to wake up with her in the morning?

If YES: - No
If NO: - Maybe. Maybe I'll even change her religion.

I kid around. Seriously though, I doubt it. When dealing with getting to know someone, I try to avoid talking about politics or religion for as long as I possibly can. So by the time I find out, usually it is too late. By then, I either made a friend, who will usually respect me for my views or I lose contact with the person.

I must admit though, they are wilder and kinkier given the circumstance as I have seen. Some, who condemn things as Taboo tend to find the same things exciting and intriguing.

"I must admit though, they are wilder and kinkier given the circumstance as I have seen. Some, who condemn things as Taboo tend to find the same things exciting and intriguing."

Also, in general, the stricter the Household, the crazier they get when they hit a club.
Kinda freaked me out back in the day.

I can't imagine I'd ever be attracted to someone who resents supporting a social safety net, but doesn't mind the billions we pour into empire; someone who thinks that gays shouldn't marry, that women shouldn't have the right to choice & privacy, & that trickle-down economics actually works!

and I met at 21 and 22... I was a Northern, liberal from VT, going to college in south carolina for marine and environmental science. He has always been from the south and raised in a southern manner.... But his family was never crazy Christian extremists. They have some "confusion" over homosexuality because so many have grown up with this idea that it's immoral and wrong, but they have a cousin who is a lesbian and the love her and don't disown her. But they have a pre-conceived notion that it's between her and God to reconcile upon her "judgment day" when she passes away (she's only in her 30's-- should be a while before anyone would expect her to pass away.

My sister in law seems to have become more conservative since moving to Fayetteville and having and active duty husband... The general mind-set in that area in NC isn't exactly liberal. For instance, she was so upset about DADT being repealed and her husband having to bunk and shower with possible gay men. I told her; they are already serving beside your husband, and they just can't tell about it... Also, he's a married man with kids; why would any gay person come onto him? Does every man arouse you sexually? It's not like LGBT people gave an "over-sexed" drive that makes them out of control. It's not a gay man she should be worried about trying to have sex with her husband; she should be more worried about an affair with another woman on base far from home. Not that he's ever come across as the cheating sort of guy... She was insistent that is DADT was repealed, he would leave the Army. He's currently serving in Afghanistan. I told her she was ridiculous... He's already serving with "closeted by force" personal now and he's working alongside other Nations who allow openly serving personnel. If he's at a job like any other profession, he will conduct himself in the way he was taught anyway. Her husband could care less.

Now, my husband has changed his registration...2008 to be exact... And is a Democrat. I've worn him down over the years and he understands that we are way too poor to ever be Republicans. And currently, he's pissed off at Rick Scott for not taking action with ObamaCares's program. He, like so many, believe that if the state says "no", we won't be seeing rebate checks or that the "wellness" exams don't include this state. So
Many lies and disinformation, that no one really has a grasp on how or what benefits they qualify for. Really wish we could have crammed thru Medicare for all. That's already taken out of people's pay checks already. The insurance agencies could sell supplemental insurance like Aflak does or cover plastic surgeries or dental (that actually covers procedures better).

Anyway... If a person has a good heart and is able to Have compassion and empathy; they are more than worthy of getting to know. If they are extremes asswipea like Rush or Bachman, forget about it.

...B) fell ass-backwards into their party affiliation without thinking about it, making them either too disconnected from the world or just too f***ing stupid to waste my time on.

A self-described "conservative" (with no mention of party affiliation) get's a littler harder write off since many people in the dating market may use that word to mean something more in the nature of 'reserved' or 'not jumping in the hot tub naked on the first date.'

The GOP has become fascist. That's not what the party was founded on or what it was intended to be or what it has (mostly) historically been. It's fascist now and nothing else.

I see convervatives in 2 basic camps:

1. Those who understand so little as to the role of Government that they are either hijacked by social issues or by soundbytes and therefore vote against the common good of a society

or

2. The selfish and greedy.

I can tolerate the first, but wouldn't spit on the second if they were on fire.

His saving grace was that he wasn't anti-gay or pro-life or uber religious. However, he really seemed to think that everyone was getting all kinds of government benefits but him, the hardworking man. I sort of got the feeling sometimes that maybe he really didn't want to work and was jealous of people on food stamps and welfare, like they were all living high on the hog and getting away with something?

In the end, I didn't break up with him over politics though. I broke up with him because he was emotionally stunted and probably the most immature 40 something year old man I'd ever met. I'd known in him high school and he hadn't changed a bit. Then again, maybe that explains the political views.

I think the conservative viewpoint is generally held by those who are selfish, immature and have extremely superficial thinking combined with an almost conspiratorial 'everyone is on the dole but me and they should be punished' kind of thinking.

Conservatives don't have any attributes that would even remotely attract me. In order to be a conservative, a person would have to be mean, shallow, dishonest, and ignorant, and would lack the ability to empathize. If they did not possess these characteristics, they would not be a conservative.

And anyway, their pheremones immediately repel me.

So, what's for me to like in a conservative? I desire a partner who is kind, compassionate, empathic, tolerant, intelligent, active, generous, passionate, wise, and loving. That automatically eliminates conservatives from the dating field.

Just look at the awful things that conservatives do, and have done, to people, and to our world. Here's just one of thousands of examples of the ravages of conservatism: If there were no conservatives, we would have universal, single payer publicly funded healthcare. Everyone would have access to medical care, not just those who can afford it. Because of conservatives, people suffer and die.

The fruits of conservatism are widespread stress, pollution, poverty, oppression, suffering, and death.

From my POV, conservatism is a mental illness, a precusor to, and a component of, anti-social personality disorder.

There is no such thing as a liberal nazi. They're all conservatives, and there is a reason for this.

You can make excuses for conservatives as much as you like. At the end of the day, it is conservatives who, because of their selfishness and greed, continue the evil within our socio-economic-political systems that causes billions of people to suffer.

Anyway you look at it, essentially, you have to be a pretty shitty person in order to be a conservative.

There are things other than simple politics that make a person a conservative.

Hilarious. Going from "In order to be a conservative, a person would have to be mean, shallow, dishonest, and ignorant, and would lack the ability to empathize. If they did not possess these characteristics, they would not be a conservative" to "There is no such thing as a liberal nazi."

Humor can difficult to determine with the written word, so I'm hoping you're joking, or some Conservative sock puppet trying to make liberals out to be the intolerant ones.

its a character flaw, being greedy and inconsiderate of those less fortunate, let alone the usuak underlying racist, sexist attitude.

I have known conservatives who were nice people, but the underlying philosophical conflict would make a longterm intimate relationship nonviable, I would think. Of course Carvel and Matlin have somehow made it work.

There's no way that is possible with a someone who views the world from the other side of the social divide.

Besides that, where I am the chance of finding a sane conservative are almost zero. They may even be in the negatives, at least that wouldn't surprise me. There are so many hate filled, angry and plain batshit crazy people here who identify themselves as "Conservatives" it's healthier, and safer to stick to the no dating rule.

Edited to add that i can be friends with a conservative, IF there is little discussion of religion, world affairs or politics. But dating someone would be impossible i think.

I married him and we just had our 2nd anniversary. Of course I proposed to him to keep my feminist credentials intact but I don't regret a moment of our life together.

I was interested in someone a while back who was funny, fun-loving, attractive, you name it, and then I found out she was a lifelong conservative (and a fundagelical, to boot). That killed it for me.

That's why not

...but that's OK with me.

The right-wing-outspoken-stepford-wives garbage I get to hear from the ladies around here has lowered the priority of dating/relationships/sex on my to-do list.

The more direct these ladies are, the less interested I am.

I live in Dana Point, which is near San Clemente. We just elected a department store mannequin to the California Assembly; her statement in my sample ballot was all about how she's going to stop high-speed rail in California.

Since I don't do hate-fucking, I may never get laid as long as I live here.

it's the way they think about everything in the world.

We were always fighting.

Unions, healthcare, the two guys living together across the street.
Getting the roof leak patched vs fixed before we sell the house...
two completely different ways of viewing the world.

Now that I'm single - my first rule of dating is to find out who they voted for before I agree to go out with him.

Going against the conventional wisdom of my fellow DUers I voted 'Don't know'.
The chance, the challenge, to awaken a fellow American voter is a strong motive for me in this case. I would want to take advantage in my fellow Americans desire to protect our Constitution and our democracy, believing that we share these values and knowing that I can demonstrate with preponderance of evidence how the right wing is truly out to destroy both.

I believe in a core goodness, a sense of fairness, buried deep within all human beings and I would illuminate for her how the right wing has been taken over by haters who scoff and kick to the curb those who have become impoverished through no fault of their own.

OTOH, if she was built like a Seattle Seahawks cheerleader and not high on some date rape drug chknltl would hit it...once or twice before kicking her out in the morning..... (Hey I am single, in my late 50s and it's been a while ok!)

Or open-minded or something

going to be a one night stand, maybe. .

I do think they're ugly people on the inside.

that I couldn't see how we could be involved on a romantic level. I don't want someone with a carbon copy of my beliefs, but there has to be some solid common ground that we share.

I found that out years ago when I unwittingly got involved with a Reagan-era conservative (we didn't discover each others politics right away). Never again.

I do have some conservative platonic friends, though, although we don't see each other much for reasons other than politics (families, work, etc.).

Women who have sex with conservative men are no different than the people lining up around the block to support Eat at Chick-Fil-A day?

Chick-Fil-A embodies anti-gay speech/action... therefore (by near-unanimous DU sentiment) their current patrons are bigots.
So if conservative men embody the war on women... what does that say about women who sexually support them?


Everybody needs an orgasm (or three). I'm just saying that I'm willing to step up to the plate for the charitable cause.

The difference is becoming more and more trivial every day.

We're slouching toward the Handmaid's Tale.

but we both smoked marijuana, so that was enough for us to get along

*I'm female, Freddie is a cat
In college (eons ago) I briefly dated a guy who made no attempt to hide his attitude that men were superior and women exist to serve them. Probably beating his wife right now.
I didn't realize how much of a liberal I was until that experience.

Very difficult, but at least our now grown children, and son-in-law, are on my side. We outnumber him! lol

He has gotten more and more conservative as he has aged, and watched Faux News. He wasn't this bad when he was younger. We also lived in NYC back then and he didn't have very much support for this views there. Living in Deep Red, Land of the 1% Florida, he now has everyone around him who are the same, and more so.

I always tell my married daughter how lucky she is that her husband is on the same page she is. Well, while my husband has gotten more conservative with age, I have gotten more progressive, and "feisty", with age. I challenge him on his views all the time now. When I was young, I just kept quiet. At any rate, it's no DULL. lol

All the conservatives I have ever gotten to know personally treated their wives horribly. getting physical with them, making them have babies, one even raped his wife because she didn't want to have sex with him. he had the nerve to quote a Scripture about the with not having the right to refuse her husband.

I am not saying all conservative men are wife rapist. u just saying I wouldn't want to take that chance.

Do you mean somebody who is a fiscal conservative but doesn't support laissez faire policy?
Do you mean a social conservative?
Do you mean a regressive libertarian?

There are smart, thoughtful, and caring conservatives who don't fit the worse stereotypes.

But you'd have to prove that to me as I don't personally know of any.


"There are smart, thoughtful, and caring conservatives who don't fit the worse stereotypes."

Plus their inner lives make them unattractive no matter what they 'look like'. Blech. So no, they do not make the cut, ever.

to many people outside of my family; most social events I attend are not because I really want to be there, but simply to keep social lines to people I actually like open.

Date? Like a date, or regular dates? Anyone I'm going to see on a regular basis has to be worthy of my closely guarded time, and most republicans don't stand a chance. That actually applies to many Democrats, as well. I don't have the time of day for neoliberals, either.

I would rather stay single than compromise my integrity.