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Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:02 PM

Romney in Israel: “Governments Should Spend Like Jews”

- July 28, 2012 -

A mere 48 hours after impressing London residents in a manner unmatched by a foreign dignitary since renowned German aerospace engineer Wernher von Braun shared with them his love of rocketry some seventy years ago, former Massachusetts governor and one-time presidential candidate Mitt Romney brought his three-nation ‘Barnstormer of Charm’ tour to Israel Saturday. And speaking at an international economic symposium at Tel Aviv University, he delivered remarks many experts agree may even overshadow his Olympic performance.

Sharing his views on current global economic conditions, most notably the Eurozone crisis and the slow rate of recovery in the United States, an uncharacteristically emotional Romney whipped the crowd into a frenzy when he concluded his remarks by offering his solution while simultaneously paying his own unique form of tribute to his audience’s heritage.

“For far too long, liberal and socialist policies have led not only to increased dependence on government, but also to unsustainable budget deficits,” the man many from England now refer to affectionately as the ‘taxation tallywacker’ lectured. “Governments have been spending money like they’re drunken sailors when they should be spending like they’re Jews.”

So impressed was the Sabbath day crowd in attendance that immediately following the speech, calls went out to prestigious academic fraternity Delta Tau Chi to bestow – for the first time upon a Mormon on Israeli soil – its highest honor, “The Goy Clip”, a ritual form of retaliatory circumcision.

Reaction in the United States was not only overwhelmingly positive, but also unusually bipartisan.

Conservative radio personality and amateur pharmacist Rush Limbaugh was quick to praise Romney’s statesmanship.

“He not only sent a message to the rest of the world about the importance of getting their fiscal houses in order,” the porcine pill-popper gushed, “but he also made it clear to our key ally in the region that even though the United States is a Christian nation, we nonetheless appreciate many of the positive aspects of their Jewness.”

Pueblo State University professor Newton Toomey, a former aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who was recently pressured by Congressional Republicans to resign after being heard on a wiretapped phone conversation uttering the words ‘Muslim Brotherhood’, also praised Romney for “forever improving future relations with Israel by ensuring their leaders will be much more receptive to dealing with an American President who has ‘Hussein’ in his name.”

© 2012 The Desperate Blogger. This article is reproduced by permission of the author. All rights reserved.

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Arrow 32 replies Author Time Post
Reply Romney in Israel: “Governments Should Spend Like Jews” (Original post)
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 OP
MoonRiver Jul 2012 #1
freshwest Jul 2012 #3
grantcart Jul 2012 #6
freshwest Jul 2012 #10
MoonRiver Jul 2012 #7
freshwest Jul 2012 #21
grantcart Jul 2012 #4
freshwest Jul 2012 #2
janlyn Jul 2012 #5
Courtesy Flush Jul 2012 #28
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 #8
freshwest Jul 2012 #14
Guy Whitey Corngood Jul 2012 #9
freshwest Jul 2012 #11
louis-t Jul 2012 #12
Bluerthanblue Jul 2012 #13
grantcart Jul 2012 #15
Bluerthanblue Jul 2012 #17
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 #18
Bluerthanblue Jul 2012 #19
freshwest Jul 2012 #20
grantcart Jul 2012 #25
malthaussen Jul 2012 #16
flamingdem Jul 2012 #22
msanthrope Jul 2012 #23
thelordofhell Jul 2012 #24
Rhiannon12866 Jul 2012 #26
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 #27
grantcart Jul 2012 #29
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 #30
Reader Rabbit Jul 2012 #31
ThisThreadIsSatire Jul 2012 #32

Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:05 PM

1. Is he being paid to throw the election?

I'm starting to wonder.

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Response to MoonRiver (Reply #1)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:07 PM

3. Note source. he's putting you on.

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Response to freshwest (Reply #3)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:12 PM

6. I know but it is so brilliant, you can hear Romney actually saying it, can't you.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #6)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:29 PM

10. Oh, believe me, I did! My BP went straight up! Thought he'd quote Shakespeare next.


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Response to freshwest (Reply #3)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:12 PM

7. OK, got it.

I always fall for Onion quotes too!

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Response to MoonRiver (Reply #7)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:50 PM

21. You're not alone! But it would have been delicious, if true.

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Response to MoonRiver (Reply #1)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:08 PM

4. Please note the name of the poster of the thread.


I know it shouldn't be hard to see what is an actual quote and what isn't but the poster's name will give you a hint.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:07 PM

2. Okay, this thread is satire.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:11 PM

5. A joke

This has got to be satire,right???

I mean,nobody is that stupid...

If this is true,why not name his tour the "let's see who we can insult" world tour !!!

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Response to janlyn (Reply #5)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 04:25 PM

28. Seems to be satire

Look at the link. The article is labeled as satire, but not very prominently.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:12 PM

8. Personally...

I was hoping 'Barnstormer of Charm' tour and "Goy Clip' might give it away... ;D

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #8)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:34 PM

14. But hoping desperately for it to be true. We're waiting with bated breath for Mitt's next gaffe!!



Thanks for posting it.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:15 PM

9. For all the people noting this is satire please keep

in mind a repuke made a similar comment about a year or two ago. I'll try to find the article.

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Response to Guy Whitey Corngood (Reply #9)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:31 PM

11. Oh, I definitely fall for those Onion pieces, and just skimming it over, fell for this one at first.

Honestly, I wouldn't put anything past Mittens and the BFI...


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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:32 PM

12. Had me going for a minute.

Ha!

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:32 PM

13. oh my god, he actually said this...

and Rush went him one better "with the positive aspects of their jewness"?

we have all fallen down the rabbit hole at last.

ACCK! you got me good on this one!!

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Response to Bluerthanblue (Reply #13)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:34 PM

15. read comments on the thread for more details on sourcing.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #15)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:38 PM

17. ...

thanks- the way things have been going, i actually did believe this.

Guess I need a break from civilization for awhile.

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Response to Bluerthanblue (Reply #17)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:41 PM

18. That sounds like a new RNC slogan...

"If you need a break from civilization, Vote Republican!"

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #18)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:48 PM

19. I like it-

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #18)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:49 PM

20. Yeah, like about a few thousand years. Great slogan!

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #18)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 02:31 PM

25. Cue "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition"

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:37 PM

16. I have a vague memory of some local politico out in the Red Bloc

... a few years ago making a very similar statement. It was a week when anti-Jewish gaffes came in clumps, and this guy was saying that the Jews pinch pennies and that added up to big savings in dollars -- or something of this ilk. (I said it was a vague memory)

Poe's Law makes this satire effective. Very few politicians can resist appealing to the least common denominator.

-- Mal

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:51 PM

22. The Goy Clip!

oy vey

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 01:52 PM

23. I always enjoy your threads....nt

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 02:50 PM

26. You have got to be kidding!

Please, somebody, put Rmoney on a no-fly list before he insults any more of our allies...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #26)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 04:04 PM

27. Exactly... ;D ...nt

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #26)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 04:30 PM

29. Actually its real. TheDesperateBlogger has a time machine.

It is limited in that he can only grab one headline a day.

He continues to go ahead a couple of days and see what the Republicans are saying rather than going to the Wall Street Journal and find what the SP 500 did and so he continues to be Desperate.

Hey I said he was funny, I never claimed that he was smart.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #29)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 04:51 PM

30. Neither did he... nt

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Original post)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 04:55 PM

31. It says a lot about Mitt that for a moment I thought this was real.

But all good satire starts with a grain of truth, right?

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Response to Reader Rabbit (Reply #31)

Sat Jul 28, 2012, 09:19 PM

32. 'Real' is something that most people...

never think about Mitt...

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