The Toilet Theory of the Internet

[Nevilledog]

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/05/google-generative-ai-search-toilet-theory/678411/

No paywall link
https://archive.li/NJsKY

Allow me to explain my toilet theory of the internet. The premise, while unprovable, is quite simple: At any given moment, a great deal of the teeming, frenetic activity we experience online—clicks, views, posts, comments, likes, and shares—is coming from people who are scrolling on their phones in the bathroom.

Toilet theory isn’t necessarily literal, of course. Mindless scrolling isn’t limited to the bathroom, and plenty of idle or bored swiping happens during other down moments—while waiting in line, or sitting in gridlocked traffic. Right now, somebody somewhere is probably reading an article or liking an Instagram post with a phone in one hand and an irritable infant in the other.

The toilet theory is mostly a reminder to myself that the internet is a huge place that is visited countless times each day by billions of people in between and during all the mundane things they have to do. As a writer, I use this framework to check my ego and remember that I have precious little time to hook a reader with whatever I’m trying to get them to read—but also that my imagined audience of undistracted, fully engaged readers is an idealized one. I’m distracted just like everyone else: Sometimes I read deeply, but the majority of my nonwork surfing involves inattentively scrolling through clicky articles to find the morsel that catches my eye, or pecking out some typo-riddled phrase about a home-improvement product into Google while walking from the parking lot into Lowe’s and nearly getting hit by a vehicle.

I’ve been thinking about my toilet theory this week, after Google announced its new generative-AI suite of tools, including an updated version of its search engine that will “do the Googling for you.” The company has been experimenting with using generative AI at the top of its search results for a while, with mixed results: Occasionally the service “hallucinates” and confidently answers questions with made-up or incorrect information. Now the company is adding “AI Overviews,” which is a way for the company to compile and sort information in response to a question. (If you’re looking for a restaurant, it might sort options by different categories, such as the ambiance offered.) Ultimately, generative search simply summarizes information from sources all around the web and presents it to people in an easily digestible format.

*snip*

[Stuart G]

1. K and R...no text..

[Voltaire2]

2. This is one reason I won't touch somebody else's phone.

[House of Roberts]

3. I never spend enough time in the bathroom

to need my phone. I wouldn't take it into the shower, which is the longest time I spend in there.

I have carried it into the bathroom when expecting a call, but never had to answer in there.